Daughter of Xellos! Mesuinu's Quest!
by Tsumira
Summary: Mesuinu, the daughter of Xellos, has set out on her own (cause daddy kicked her out), on a quest to discover who her mother is! Will she even get along with her mother! Oh the chaos and insanity!
1. Default Chapter

It is True! Xellos has a daughter! Mesuinu's Quest!  
  
Chapter One. Who IS the God of Secrets?  
  
Mesuinu enters a small and quaint town. Noticing an obvious lack of boozing place, she shakes her head and sighs, realizing that it is highly unlikely that her father ever came to such a town for pleasurable enjoyments. Despite her very human appearance and mannerisms, she still manages to stand out in this quiet little village. Maybe she should have her eyes open...ah...but the sun...the sun hurts her eyes. Mesuinu rubs her eyes a bit and opens them. Unlike Xellos, her eyes are bright and big and almost cheerful, though they still resonate with a slight mischief. Was there anything else making her stand out? Her curious expression is little welcoming. She sighs and smiles a cheerful grin that would have sent her father to the grave.  
  
Mesuinu puts her left hand behind the back of her head, desperately trying to figure out what makes her stand out in the crowd. She blinks a couple of times and poses her staff at an angle so she can rest her head upon it. "Ah...ah...hmmm.", Mesu sighs.  
  
A fair and beautiful young maiden with golden hair in very large curls and friendly blue eyes approaches the girl in a pink dress that only Goldilocks would wear. At least it wasn't Little BOB Peep. "Excuse me miss, you are a priestess, right?", the maiden inquires. "A priestess," Mesuinu comments realizing what separates her from the others, "are you looking for one?" "Yes I am. My brother is very ill, and the local cleric is out of town.", the young lady explains. "You're just in luck! I am the mysteriously wonderful priestess Mesuinu!", Mesu informs with a bow. "I am Seirra. Please, priestess, you must heal my sick brother!" "I'm not sure if I'm the kind of priestess that you're looking for. I'm a priestess of Kamino Himitsu! Keeper of all knowledge, especially that which is not meant for mortals to know.", Mesu explains. "Oh then you would know what is wrong with my brother and how to cure him! Please come with me!", Seirra exclaims grabbing Mesuinu's arm and running off with her to her humble abode.  
  
Mesuinu and Seirra arrive at Seirra and her brother's small cottage home in the village. There are only four rooms in the entire house, and although being small, it is still quite comfortable and welcoming. "Please, have a seat. I'm just about to cook lunch.", Seirra informs heading into the tiny kitchen. "Well that's kind of you, but where's your brother.", Mesu inquires taking a seat and stretching her legs across the table. "Oh, he won't be home until this evening.", Seirra replies. Mesuinu falls back and out of her seat. "This EVENING?!", Mesuinu exclaims. "Are you alright?", Seirra inquires with concern stepping out of the kitchen. "Oh yes, I was just wondering why your brother isn't currently home.", Mesuinu speaks sitting in her chair properly, which mysteriously shows no signs of haven fallen over. "Oh, he's at work in the woods. Ever since our parents died my brother went to work as a woodsman to support us...and even though he's very ill, he keeps working out in the woods. Please, just make yourself comfortable while you wait. I'll have lunch ready soon, so please enjoy that.", Seirra explains.  
  
Mesuinu sighs and decides to make the best of it, by enjoying a free meal. Seirra heads back into the kitchen and finishes lunch up. She heads back out with two fresh bowls of soup and begins setting the table for lunch. "Thanks!" "Oh, it's the least I can do for the priestess who's going to help my brother.", Seirra comments. Mesuinu sweatdrops, wondering if she should leave before she's expected to save the world or something. Seirra takes a pitcher and fills Mesuinu's glass with homemade wine. "Wine?", Mesuinu inquires. "Homemade. It's made from berries that I pick from my garden." Mesuinu takes a tiny sip. "Mmmm...not bad.", Mesuinu informs. "Thank you. Please, enjoy.", Seirra informs taking a seat and beginning to eat her soup. "For the Porcelain Deity!", Mesuinu exclaims and digs into her soap. Seirra raises a brow in confusion then shrugs and continues eating.  
  
Mesuinu polishes off her soup and wine within a few minutes and pats her filled belly. "Ah, that was delicious. Thank you very much." "Oh, it was nothing. You must be very tired, please rest in the bedroom.", Seirra informs. "Well, I guess I am a little. A nap is only fitting for after eating.", Mesuinu comments and follows Seirra into the bedroom. "Here you go." "Ah, it looks so comfortable. Thank you.", Mesuinu thanks and jumps into the bed that creaks as she bounces slightly. "Ah, yes, I suppose it is. Well then, I'll wake you when my brother has arrived.", Seirra speaks. "Yes, you go do that. Please, don't let me interrupt your routine. I'll just lay right here and sleep. You go on, I'll be fine. I'm the mysterious priestess of secrets you know.", Mesu informs. "If you need anything, I'll be right outside." Seirra nods and steps out of the bedroom.  
  
Mesuinu reclines on the bed, her staff leaning against the bed and her arms under her head. "Free lunch...free bed. It's almost too good to be true. It would only be fitting that Seirra would turn out to be some hideous monster who begs travelers to help her heal her sick brother and offers in exchange food to eat and a place to rest and when they least expect it...when they are fast asleep...devour them! Well, that's what I would do!", Mesuinu notes silently to herself. Forcing out a yawn, Mesuinu closes her eyes and slowly drifts into slumber.  
  
Seirra smiles peeking in on the sleeping Mesuinu before heading back to washing dishes. "Not very energetic is she? Oh well, that's not what matters now is it? I better get this house cleaned before my brother comes home. Now sense in the dear coming home to a dirty house.", Seirra comments to herself.  
  
After ten minutes, Seirra creeps into the bedroom and looms over the young priestess. Mesuinu peeks one of her eyes open, yet still silted. "Is your brother home already?", Mesu asks slyly. "Oh, no, not yet, I was just checking to make sure you were sleeping soundly. You need to save your energy for when my brother gets home. I really can't thank you enough.", Seirra informs. "Oh." "I'm sorry for waking you up. I'll go back to my chores now.", Seirra comments and leaves. Mesuinu's eye focuses on Seirra as she picks up a broom and begins sweeping the house.  
  
"One sweep. Two sweep. Clean. One sweep. Two sweep. Clean. One sweep. Two sweep. Clean. Not nearly amusing enough.", Mesuinu comments watching Seirra sweep back and forth to little avail. She lets a silent sigh slip from her lips. "Are there really humans this dull and disinteresting? Now I KNOW my father never came to this town.", Mesuinu reflects silently and closes her eyes again. Slowly, but surely, she falls asleep.  
  
"Ah, it appears that she has fallen asleep again. I best not wake her.", Seirra notes glancing into the room. Seirra sighs and continues her boring and virtually pointless sweeping. Mesuinu yawns, startling Seirra. Seirra looks back from her chores, and certain that her guest is still sleeping peacefully and not in need of anything, she continues her very dull and unproductive sweeping. Mesuinu yawns again, but Seirra ignores it and continues her house tidying. "HMMMMMMM....HMMMMMMM...this is SOOOOOOO boring! I'm too energetic and LIVELY to be sleeping...but this girl wants me to help her brother. Sesh...the things I get suckered into. I'm the daughter of Xellos, I'm not suppose to be helping others, I'm suppose to be reigning chaos and destruction upon the masses, unleashing hordes of ravers...er zombies! Yes, zombies, there's no such thing as ravers...yah...yah, ravers don't exist...they don't exist I tell you! Yah...unleash my horde of zombies and mess with American gamers' head. Speaking of webcomics...I'd like to get out of this hut and go to a time where such extravagant luxuries and pleasures exist.", Mesuinu thinks to herself as she turns over to her side facing away from Seirra.  
  
Her eyes slowly open into two narrow slits. If the evening did not come soon, she definitely would not be there anymore. However, just as she begins to turn over, she notices two tall beings hovering over her bed. Mesuinu notes that the feminine one is the same as Seirra, and the vampire-like male, had to be her "brother." The brother lunges to pin Mesuinu down, but expecting such a turn of events, she sleekly slips out of his grasp. "Ah, just as I had suspected, you are monsters trying to devour me!", Mesu proclaims. "Yes, how clever of you to figure that out, but even now that you know this, you cannot escape from us. You are still weak and weary from the poison.", Seirra informs. "That was poison? Oh thank the Porcelain deity, I get to keep my kidneys for a little longer!", Mesuinu exclaims sarcastically, with eyes closed. The brother leaps after the adventuring priestess, but the daughter of Xellos hops away like a frog and into the window. She kicks it out and flips up onto the roof.  
  
"I suppose it wouldn't take them too long to come up after me, so I better....", Mesuinu comments, broken off by the sight of a group of vampires already on her roof. Mesuinu blinks innocently. "Oh, it appears that the entire town are vampires.", Mesuinu states the obvious. The group charges after her but the mischievous miko merely hovers up into the air causing several to run off over the roof. "Such a pity. You know not whom you're messing with. Very well, before I send you to oblivion, I shall reveal to you who I really am. I am Mesuinu, daughter of Xellos, the general/priest of Lord Beastmaster...PREPARE FOR YOUR END!!!!" Mesuinu raises her left hand into the air and snaps her finger once. A black ball of energy, filled with her bitterness and wrath hovers above her. She closes her eyes and takes a deep and relaxing breath as the vampires slowly start to climb their way atop one another to reach her, although a good number tremble at her genealogy. She folds her right arm across her chest just above her breasts before slowly raising it up, a ball of holy magic forming in her hand. The two balls fly towards the center of the vampire town as her eyes slit open and her mouth forms a smirk. "I don't think I want to be in this town anymore.", Mesu retorts as the two balls slowly begin to merge. She quickly teleports far away from the village and watches it as it evaporates from existence.  
  
Mesuinu sighs fondly. "Well that was fun. I blew up an entire village and I didn't have to commit a single good deed! Well, it's on to the next village! Perhaps I need to change my approach if I wish to find out who my mother is." 


	2. Chapter Two

Mesuinu's Quest  
  
Chapter Two: Mesuinu has an older brother?!  
  
Mesuinu arrives in a rather large city. Unlike the last city, filled with vampires, she doesn't seem to stand out at all. Why should she? She's just an ordinary mysterious priestess. "Okay. This time I should take the direct approach. The next lady I see I'll ask her if she knows my father! That should speed things up a bit.", Mesuinu comments to herself. Looking around, she glances at a beautiful blonde outside an antique shop. "Well.here's my chance.", Mesu sweatdrops.  
The adventuring young priestess approaches the blonde woman without caution. The woman looks up at her, her eyes widening slightly. "Oh excuse me miss, I'm sorry to startle you. I am a traveling priestess and I was hoping the you could provide some information about a fellow priest called Xellos.", Mesuinu requests going straight to the point. "X..e..l..l..o..s..!!!!!", the blonde grimaces. Her hands immediately fly up and under her dress and before Mesuinu could even teleport away, the mace is brought up against her causing her to go soaring into the air.  
"Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!!", Xellos's daughter cries out as she finds herself flying backwards into the air. Mesuinu quickly calms herself and teleports safely right side up on the ground. "Oooookay. Direct approach.bad. Hmmm.that woman looks kind of familiar.could she? Nah, of course not! Guess I better stick to plan A."  
A few moments later Mesuinu is standing in front of a Brothel Tavern. Mesuinu steps to the side as less than pleasant company heads inside the building. "I'm.actually having second thoughts. I really need to figure out how to change my sex. There's no WAY I can go in there as a girl!" Mesuinu sighs and takes another step away from the brothel. A streak of light crosses Mesuinu's eyes as she gets a feeling of being watched. Her eyes dart to the side starting left then darting right. Slowly she turns her head before turning the rest of her body around to face tall, and maybe even handsome, figure that stood before her.  
The man in question has sea blue hair with tall spikes on top and long and sharp around the sides loosely framing his face and yellowish eyes. He is a bit thin, but very muscular. His face appears solemn and serious, as if he has no reason to be happy and no need for pleasure. His almost invisible mouth widens into a smile and his eyes light up with joy as he suddenly wraps his arms around the young priestess in a tight bear hug. "I FINALLY FOUND YOU!", he proclaims embracing her. "Found.me? I.I think you found the wrong person."  
"Of course not. I've been looking for you for a long time now. I'm so happy that I finally found you!", the young man informs letting go of his tight and deadly embrace. Mesuinu takes a couple of steps back and away from the stranger. "Look, I'm REALLY sorry, but I'm obviously not who you're looking for. I'm actually looking for someone myself. Besides, I don't even know you." "^^ I can tell you everything you need to know. Why don't we head to Eatall's Chow and discuss it over lunch?", the gentleman suggests.  
Of course, being half-Mazoku, Mesuinu knows not to trust strangers.or anyone for that matter. However, her stomach didn't care. Mesuinu sweatdrops with her eyes tightly closed. "Lunch sounds nice. I hope you're buying.", Mesuinu informs. "Of course I am." "You're SO going to regret that!", Mesuinu notes.  
In less than half an hour, Mesuinu and her new companion are eating at Eatall's Chow. They both are eating the buffet and the gentleman is seeing just how piggish the priestess's manners are. "I NEED A REFILL.please!", Mesuinu orders quickly devouring food and dashing up to the buffet to get some more. A waiter comes by, opens yet another bottle of red wine, and just sets it on the table where she is sitting. Mesuinu immediately begins stuffing her face and guzzling down her wine. "Uh.it's kind of hard to talk while you're eating." "I'm not handicapped. I can listen and eat at the same time.", the priestess informs between meals.  
"I am Val, and I've been searching for you for a long time. Ever since I was very little." Mesuinu returns to her seat with two more plates of food. An adorable kitty plushie appears on her shoulder holding up a sign that reads "Mesuinu." (( Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon! I SOOOOOOOOO want to watch it!) The plushie promptly disappears. "Uh.Mesuinu. That's your name?", Val inquires. The plushie reappears holding up a sign with a red circle around it then disappears again. "I'm glad I finally found you! I was beginning to lose hope of ever finding my little sister!"  
Mesuinu's eyes widen as she drops her plates and her food begins to leak out of her wide-open mouth. She shakes her head and zooms back into her seat. "SISTER?! Now I KNOW you've got the wrong person!", the miko protests. Mesuinu's elbows rest on the table and she looks at Val sternly. He doesn't seem to be phased at all by her proclamation. "There's no WAY I can be his sister! Even so, if my father did have any other kids, there's no way I can let them live.", Mesuinu thinks deviously. "It's true. You are my little sister. You were kidnapped as a baby, but I never gave up hope of finding you.", Val insists. "I'm sorry, but you're looking for someone else. I was never kidnapped.", Mesuinu testifies. "Yes, you were. I awoke one morning to find you missing. Mom said that you were kidnapped, but she couldn't find a ransom note or anything.", the young man explains.  
Mesuinu shakes her head. Her father may lie, but she knows that he would never have kidnapped his own child. With all of the trouble she had caused him, there was no way he had kidnapped her. Besides, why would Xellos actually WANT to raise a child, especially such a troublesome and mischievous child as Mesuinu? "I hate to tell you this, but my father never kidnapped me. The thought wouldn't have entered his head. I burdened him. He wouldn't bother to kidnap a baby. He was actually enjoying his life as it was before I was born, so why would he ruin his life by kidnapping and raising a child?", the mysterious priestess questions. "I didn't accuse your father of kidnapping you. Someone else probably kidnapped you and then left you with him.", Val suggests.  
"That does make sense. However, Xellos is CLEARLY my biological father. What would the chances be of me being kidnapped and then handed over to my biological father? Not very likely unless Lord Beastmaster wanted me to join the Mazoku race and had me kidnapped and given to my father, who was currently unaware of my existence. No. That doesn't make much sense either. I vaguely remember my babyhood. I think I was left on his doorstep. Someone must have intentionally put me there and daddy wasn't expecting someone to deliver a baby. It's clear that what my father told me was true, that my mother abandoned me. There's no way I could be this guys little sister. Still.the thought of having an older brother.is becoming.strangely.well, I suppose the thought makes me feel important and happy. However, I'm not this man's sister and I never will be.unless my dad has started shacking up with his mom sent I left.", Mesuinu monologues inside her head.  
Looking Val in the eye, Mesuinu opens her mouth to explain what she had already explained to herself in thought. "Are you looking for your mom?", Val asks. "Yes.", Mesuinu replies. "She's right in town. I can take you to her.", he smiles politely and pays the bill. Val immediately takes Mesuinu by the wrist and drags her outside. "She should be at the Antique Store.", Val notes escorting the priestess in that direction. Mesuinu gulps. Fear seems to momentarily take hold of her. Shaking her head, she closes her eyes.  
"Mom! Guess what! I finally -!!", Val begins, but as he turns to look behind him, he sees no one there. He spins around looking for his little sister to no avail. "What did you say Val?" "I.I found my sister.but she's gone now. I'm sorry. I won't give up!"  
Mesuinu takes a deep breath. "I barely got out of that one. That was close. I have a quest to complete, and I don't need to meet other people's mothers. I have my own to find. If he wasn't so delusional, he might have been able to help me. Oh well, I'll have to find her on my own.", Mesuinu comments to herself looking behind her as she walks off in the street. Suddenly she stops and finds that she has run into a tall and handsome young human male with short red hair and blue eyes. At his side is a well-crafted sword. 


	3. Mesu's Chapter Three Optional chapter

Mesuinu's Quest  
  
Chapter Three: Mesuinu's Yarn  
  
Disclaimer: I, Tsumira, hereby disclaim whatever garbage Mesuinu writes. If fanfiction.net or its users have any problems with the length of this fanfic, I will remove it immediately and a fic of this length will never be repeated. The Administration has the right to remove this chapter if they feel the need to.  
  
Due to the demand by fanfiction.net readers, this chapter will be super long. However, Tsumira values quality over quantity, so the evil, boring, and long chapter is left up to me to write. Who am I, you ask? Well if you can't tell by the chapter title then you really don't need to know! Now in this chapter I will begin the long and painful process.of.re.vi.ew.ing pre..vi..ou.s ch.a.p.ter.s of.thi.s fa.n.fi.c a.n.d th.e pre.vi.ou.s fa.n.fi.c Xellos has a daughter? Now then, we shall start at the beginning, shall we? Yes, at the beginning we shall start. It's always good to start a story at the beginning of the story for it would be confusing if you started a story from the end and worked your way up to the beginning. Hmm. Hmmmmnmm. HMMMMMMM! Actually.that would be interesting. Perhaps I should have Tsumira do that someday, or even myself. Oh well, I suppose I should begin with the story. In the first chapter of Slayers Outrageous: Xellos has a daughter?!, the chapter is called Unexpected Fatherhood. Now for the AutoSummarize portion of the chapter summary! Xellos has a daughter? Unexpected Fatherhood.  
Xellos stirs the mixture well with his staff while a few other, male, drunken patrons mock him with, "Boil, boil, toil and trouble!" "Heh...I'll deal with those idiots later.", Xellos contemplates and downs the whole barrel. Xellos smirks at the devious thought then heads upstairs to his room walking perfectly as though he had not drank a drop of alcohol. In the morning, Xellos makes a futile attempt to crawl to his feet. "Deso wanto duu tatal.", Xellos slurs. Suddenly, Xellos disappears and immediately reappears laying on his bed. "A basket of goodies from Little Red Riding Hood to Xellos?", Xellos ponders taking the basket inside and setting it on his bed. Dear Xellos, this is your child. Happy father-hood...not! Xellos slowly lifts up the blankets and peeks inside. Xellos shakes his head in disbelief. "This baby doesn't even look a thing like me!", Xellos denies looking away from the baby. "Well...it looks innocent enough....", Xellos comments shrugging as he reaches his hand down towards the infant. Immediately she bites his hand causing Xellos to recoil. Xellos attempts to shake her off, but to no avail. "Help! It suits you well." What you fanfiction.net viewers can't see in either the summary or the actually story is the scene in which Xellos pays tribute to the Porcelain Deity! In this review, you will get a SPECIAL preview of Xellos paying tribute. First, we'll show you the version of the fanfic you've already seen, the cut version! Enjoy knowing that the version you are about to see was heavily edited to spite you all! It's not even 1000 words! What? Is it true? Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter One. Unexpected Fatherhood.  
  
Having been relieved of his duties for a well deserved, and perhaps even a century long, vacation by a very insistant Lord Beastmaster, Xellos continues his partying at a locale tavern. Girls, attracted to his mysterious demeanor and ungodly looks, google and giggle with awe as he prepares his super concoction. He takes a large empty barrel for use and begins gathering up his secret ingredients. First he pours in a bottle of fine red wine then a cup of ale followed by a dash of cider. Next he adds a quart of martini, making sure not to grab a Martina =P, immediately mixed with two tall glasses of Bloody Mary. Xellos tosses in some vodka, not even keeping track of how much he puts in along with a six pack of ice cold beer. After adding a dash of chardeny and champagne he is almost finished. To top his concoction off, he adds one freshly brewed pot of coffee. Don't ask about the coffee.  
Xellos stirs the mixture well with his staff while a few other, male, drunken patrons mock him with, "Boil, boil, toil and trouble!" "Heh...I'll deal with those idiots later.", Xellos contemplates and downs the whole barrel. The bar falls under the spell of a hushed silence as Xellos wipes off the remaining beverage from his lips. He gives a slight bow to the ladies around him. Certainly no human could have survived drinking such a concoction, and a large portion at that. However, they didn't know that Xellos is far from being human. "It's a wonder I'm still alive," Xellos admits in his thoughts, "that concoction could have killed a golden dragon instantaneously! Maybe I should send a brew to Filia." Xellos smirks at the devious thought then heads upstairs to his room walking perfectly as though he had not drank a drop of alcohol. He opens the door and shuts it behind him and immediately passes out onto the floor.  
In the middle of the night, a mysteriously cloaked individual silent creeps up the stairs of the tavern where its guests and patrons reside. The figure walks down the hallway slowly, seemingly looking for one room in particular. It stops in front of one room and quietly sets something down on its doorstep. As swift and silent as possible, the individual slips away and back into the cold and starry outdoors.  
In the morning, Xellos makes a futile attempt to crawl to his feet. His hangover subdues him. "Deso wanto duu tatal.", Xellos slurs. Suddenly, Xellos disappears and immediately reappears laying on his bed. "Ah, much better! I feel refreshed! Well now to see what I can do next." Xellos heads for the door and opens it, which happens to open inside and into the room, and notices a strange basket at the doorstep. "A basket of goodies from Little Red Riding Hood to Xellos?", Xellos ponders taking the basket inside and setting it on his bed. He notices a note attached to the soft red blanket and takes it off and reads it.  
  
Dear Xellos,  
  
This is your child. I can't handle it anymore. You raise it! Ha, as if you could! I'm fed up, so she's all yours! Happy father- hood...not! Oh, by the way, I've named her Demonic Spawn of Ultimate Evil, but you can change the name if you want. Not that I care!  
  
Sincerely,  
  
The unfortunate mother of your child.  
  
Xellos slowly lifts up the blankets and peeks inside. "There's no WAY I can be a father! There MUST be a mistake."  
Xellos shakes his head in disbelief. "This baby doesn't even look a thing like me!", Xellos denies looking away from the baby. The baby sneezes, with only a small blanket and a smaller tuft of purple hair for warmth. "Well...it looks innocent enough....", Xellos comments shrugging as he reaches his hand down towards the infant. Immediately she bites his hand causing Xellos to recoil. Unfortunately, for Xellos, she keeps a tight grip for a baby with only two sharp pointed teeth in her mouth. (Don't ask why she's already got teeth, she's a half-mazoku for crying out loud!) Xellos attempts to shake her off, but to no avail. "Help! HELP! Someone get this Demonic Spawn of Ultimate Evil OFF OF ME!", Xellos pleads as he futilely attempts to seperate the obviously his baby from his hand. Eventually, his little daughter lets go. "You BETTER be glad that I can regenerate. Now then, how about a more suitible name. Ah, I know, Mesuinu. It suits you well." For some odd reason, she likes it, thus sending shivers down her father's spine. Then again, she's way too young to even realize what that name really means.  
  
Now you have the opportunity to read the ENTIRE fanfic in it's uncut splendor! Enjoy knowing that you're FINALLY seeing it all! To see MORE uncut fics, send one million platinum to Mysteriously Mischievous Miko Mesuinu and you should receive your uncut fanfiction in a thousand years. What? Is it true? Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter One. Unexpected Fatherhood.  
  
Having been relieved of his duties for a well deserved, and perhaps even a century long, vacation by a very insistant Lord Beastmaster, Xellos continues his partying at a locale tavern. Girls, attracted to his mysterious demeanor and ungodly looks, google and giggle with awe as he prepares his super concoction. He takes a large empty barrel for use and begins gathering up his secret ingredients. First he pours in a bottle of fine red wine then a cup of ale followed by a dash of cider. Next he adds a quart of martini, making sure not to grab a Martina =P, immediately mixed with two tall glasses of Bloody Mary. Xellos tosses in some vodka, not even keeping track of how much he puts in along with a six pack of ice cold beer. After adding a dash of chardeny and champagne he is almost finished. To top his concoction off, he adds one freshly brewed pot of coffee. Don't ask about the coffee.  
Xellos stirs the mixture well with his staff while a few other, male, drunken patrons mock him with, "Boil, boil, toil and trouble!" "Heh...I'll deal with those idiots later.", Xellos contemplates and downs the whole barrel. The bar falls under the spell of a hushed silence as Xellos wipes off the remaining beverage from his lips. He gives a slight bow to the ladies around him. Certainly no human could have survived drinking such a concoction, and a large portion at that. However, they didn't know that Xellos is far from being human. "It's a wonder I'm still alive," Xellos admits in his thoughts, "that concoction could have killed a golden dragon instantaneously! Maybe I should send a brew to Filia." Xellos smirks at the devious thought then heads upstairs to his room walking perfectly as though he had not drank a drop of alcohol. He opens the door and shuts it behind him and immediately passes out onto the floor.  
In the middle of the night, a mysteriously cloaked individual silent creeps up the stairs of the tavern where its guests and patrons reside. The figure walks down the hallway slowly, seemingly looking for one room in particular. It stops in front of one room and quietly sets something down on its doorstep. As swift and silent as possible, the individual slips away and back into the cold and starry outdoors.  
In the morning, Xellos makes a futile attempt to crawl to his feet. His hangover subdues him. "Deso wanto duu tatal.", Xellos slurs. Suddenly, Xellos disappears and immediately reappears in the bathroom. Xellos kneels before the toilet and begins vomiting profusely. "I shouldn't have drank that last night. It's a wonder I'm still alive. I'll never do that again.anytime soon.", Xellos thinks to himself as he pours alcohol and vomit out of his mouth and into the sacred receptacle of the divine porcelain. After thoroughly cleansing himself, Xellos teleports and reappears laying on his bed. "Ah, much better! I feel refreshed! Well now to see what I can do next." Xellos heads for the door and opens it, which happens to open inside and into the room, and notices a strange basket at the doorstep. "A basket of goodies from Little Red Riding Hood to Xellos?", Xellos ponders taking the basket inside and setting it on his bed. He notices a note attached to the soft red blanket and takes it off and reads it.  
  
Dear Xellos,  
  
This is your child. I can't handle it anymore. You raise it! Ha, as if you could! I'm fed up, so she's all yours! Happy father- hood...not! Oh, by the way, I've named her Demonic Spawn of Ultimate Evil, but you can change the name if you want. Not that I care!  
  
Sincerely,  
  
The unfortunate mother of your child.  
  
Xellos slowly lifts up the blankets and peeks inside. "There's no WAY I can be a father! There MUST be a mistake."  
Xellos shakes his head in disbelief. "This baby doesn't even look a thing like me!", Xellos denies looking away from the baby. The baby sneezes, with only a small blanket and a smaller tuft of purple hair for warmth. "Well...it looks innocent enough....", Xellos comments shrugging as he reaches his hand down towards the infant. Immediately she bites his hand causing Xellos to recoil. Unfortunately, for Xellos, she keeps a tight grip for a baby with only two sharp pointed teeth in her mouth. (Don't ask why she's already got teeth, she's a half-mazoku for crying out loud!) Xellos attempts to shake her off, but to no avail. "Help! HELP! Someone get this Demonic Spawn of Ultimate Evil OFF OF ME!", Xellos pleads as he futilely attempts to seperate the obviously his baby from his hand. Eventually, his little daughter lets go. "You BETTER be glad that I can regenerate. Now then, how about a more suitible name. Ah, I know, Mesuinu. It suits you well." For some odd reason, she likes it, thus sending shivers down her father's spine. Then again, she's way too young to even realize what that name really means.  
  
Now then, you're probably very eager to hear my summary and review of the chapter. However, there are a lot of typographical errors made in this chapter, so the next step will be to correct them. Since you don't want to read the cut version again, I'll edit the uncut version. What? Is it true? Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter One. Unexpected Fatherhood.  
  
Having been relieved of his duties for a well-deserved, and perhaps even a century long, vacation by a very insistent Lord Beastmaster, Xellos continues his partying at a locale tavern. Girls, attracted to his mysterious demeanor and ungodly looks, google and giggle with awe as he prepares his super concoction. He takes a large empty barrel for use and begins gathering up his secret ingredients. First, he pours in a bottle of fine red wine then a cup of ale followed by a dash of cider. Next he adds a quart of martini, making sure not to grab a Martina =P, immediately mixed with two tall glasses of Bloody Mary. Xellos tosses in some vodka, not even, keeping track of how much he puts in along with a six pack of ice cold beer. After adding a dash of Chardonnay and champagne, he is almost finished. To top his concoction off, he adds one freshly brewed pot of coffee. Don't ask about the coffee.  
Xellos stirs the mixture well with his staff while a few other, male, drunken patrons mock him with, "Boil, boil, toil and trouble!" "Heh...I'll deal with those idiots later.", Xellos contemplates and downs the whole barrel. The bar falls under the spell of a hushed silence as Xellos wipes off the remaining beverage from his lips. He gives a slight bow to the ladies around him. Certainly no human could have survived drinking such a concoction, and a large portion at that. However, they didn't know that Xellos is far from being human. "It's a wonder I'm still alive," Xellos admits in his thoughts, "that concoction could have killed a golden dragon instantaneously! Maybe I should send a brew to Filia." Xellos smirks at the devious thought then heads upstairs to his room walking perfectly as though he had not drank a drop of alcohol. He opens the door, shuts it behind him, and immediately passes out onto the floor.  
In the middle of the night, a mysteriously cloaked individual silent creeps up the stairs of the tavern where its guests and patrons reside. The figure walks down the hallway slowly, seemingly looking for one room in particular. It stops in front of one room and quietly sets something down on its doorstep. As swift and silent as possible, the individual slips away and back into the cold and starry outdoors.  
In the morning, Xellos makes a futile attempt to crawl to his feet. His hangover subdues him. "Deso wanto duu tatal.", Xellos slurs. Suddenly, Xellos disappears and immediately reappears in the bathroom. Xellos kneels before the toilet and begins vomiting profusely. "I shouldn't have drank that last night. It's a wonder I'm still alive. I'll never do that again.anytime soon.", Xellos thinks to himself as he pours alcohol and vomit out of his mouth and into the sacred receptacle of the divine porcelain. After thoroughly cleansing himself, Xellos teleports and reappears laying on his bed. "Ah, much better! I feel refreshed! Well now to see what I can do next." Xellos heads for the door, opens it, which happens to open inside and into the room, and notices a strange basket at the doorstep. "A basket of goodies from Little Red Riding Hood to Xellos?", Xellos ponders taking the basket inside and setting it on his bed. He notices a note attached to the soft red blanket and takes it off and reads it.  
  
Dear Xellos,  
  
This is your child. I can't handle it anymore. You raise it! Ha, as if you could! I'm fed up, so she's all yours! Happy father- hood...not! Oh, by the way, I've named her Demonic Spawn of Ultimate Evil, but you can change the name if you want. Not that I care!  
  
Sincerely,  
  
The unfortunate mother of your child.  
  
Xellos slowly lifts up the blankets and peeks inside. "There's no WAY I can be a father! There MUST be a mistake."  
Xellos shakes his head in disbelief. "This baby doesn't even look a thing like me!", Xellos denies looking away from the baby. The baby sneezes, with only a small blanket and a smaller tuft of purple hair for warmth. "Well...it looks innocent enough....", Xellos comments shrugging as he reaches his hand down towards the infant. Immediately she bites his hand causing Xellos to recoil. Unfortunately, for Xellos, she keeps a tight grip for a baby with only two sharp pointed teeth in her mouth. (Don't ask why she's already got teeth, she's a half-Mazoku for crying out loud!) Xellos attempts to shake her off, but to no avail. "Help! HELP! Someone get this Demonic Spawn of Ultimate Evil OFF OF ME!", Xellos pleads as he futilely attempts to separate the obviously his baby from his hand. Eventually, his little daughter lets go. "You BETTER be glad that I can regenerate. Now then, how about a more suitable name. Ah, I know, Mesuinu. It suits you well." For some odd reason, she likes it, thus sending shivers down her father's spine. Then again, she's way too young to even realize what that name really means.  
  
Now the moment you've been waiting for, the summary and review! In Unexpected Fatherhood, Xellos is forced by Lord Beastmaster to take a vacation. Xellos decides to spend his vacation by getting drunk and shaking up with beautiful women. One of which must have spawned me, Mesuinu. The tale begins with Xellos forming his latest concoction out of several different alcoholic beverages and coffee. As Tsumira said, "don't ask about the coffee." At first, it appears that Xellos isn't even affected by the concoction. Any ordinary human would have died drinking it, but as we all know, Xellos isn't human at all. Xellos is a Mazoku. Xellos enters his room, still feigning sobriety like Mr. Satan from DBZ feigning strength and power. Kind of pathetic isn't it? However, we see that the ruse is over as soon as my father closes the door. He immediately passes out on the floor. In the middle of the night, my mother sneaks into the tavern inn looking for my father's room. She apparently knows where to look and places a basket in front of his door where I am carelessly abandoned. As quick as she arrives, she exits leaving me sleeping peacefully before the entrance to my father's room. In the morning, Xellos has a hangover. He seemingly disappears and reappears on the bed suddenly well. Of course, now that you've seen the uncut version, you know that he actually teleported to the bathroom first. Feeling well again, Xellos opens his door to find a basket. At this point I'd like to point at that for some unexplainable reason, the first chapter is incomplete in this review. This is because Tsumira obviously doesn't have the completed copy saved on hard disk and I cannot find it on any of her floppies. Blame everything on Tsumira. It's all her fault. Now then, on with the review. Xellos finds a basket at his door and takes it inside. He assumes that it must be a basket full of goodies from an admirer. He sets it on the bed and sees a note on the cuddly blanket. The note is from my mother, telling him that she's fed up with trying to raise me. She uses his name, but fails to state her own. It can be assumed that my mother wanted nothing further to do with me and hoped that I would never find out who she is. TOO BAD! I'm on a quest to find you and you'll NEVER escape from me! Mulalalalalalala!!! Ahem. Xellos is clearly taken aback by this revelation. He cautiously pulls back on the blanket and discovers.and perceives.and detects.and reveals.a baby! Not an ordinary baby either. Me! Yes, Xellos discovers that I, Mesuinu, was in the basket. It was pretty obvious that I was his baby, but dad was stubborn to accept this fact. Perhaps sex education isn't working. Or perhaps men are too perverse to care about the consequences of sex such as STDs, pregnancy, or vengeful hentai hunters ready to slay anyone being, and I quote Seraphim from Volume 2 of MegaTokyo, "aughty." On the other hand, it might be because Xellos, for some reason or another, didn't think that he was capable of spawning a child. In either case, here I am now! Xellos didn't want to have anything to deal with me either. C'mon. He was more than able to regenerate his hand! Naturally, daddy teleported away at the first chance he got, but I wasn't an ordinary baby at all. I followed him! Xellos finally gives up and decides to raise me. He goes out to buy baby supplies. When he returns, he discovers that I'm missing. Searching everywhere in the room, he still can't find me. As it turns out, I was on the ceiling the whole time! Now then, we should move on into the second chapter of Xellos is a Father. Chapter Two is called Terrible Twos. In this chapter, I am two years old, the most miserable age a child can be.for the parent! As always, story first followed by the review! What? Is it true? Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter Two. The Terrible Twos!  
  
Having been relieved of his duties for a well deserved, and perhaps even a century long, vacation, Xellos is starting to believe that Lord Beastmaster knew of Mesuinu's existance before he himself did. "I've always been so loyal to you!", Xellos whines as Mesuinu sits on his head pulling out all of his hair that isn't gray. "Well, at least she is an evil lil half-Mazoku.", Xellos fondly reflects. A mangly and sickly allycat walks by hopping because one of its legs is broken. "Nyonyo.", Mesu whimpers sadly and disappears from her father's head. She immediately appears behind the cat and grabs its tail. "Ah, I remember when I first pulled a cat's tail. Poor cat didn't stand a chance against me!", Xellos reminisces fondly. Mesuinu mutters a few words in baby talk and the cat is suddenly looking very healthy and happy. She lets go of its tail and it starts purring as it rubs up against her soft and innocent face. "By XELAS!", Xellos exclaims in a panic quickly snatching up the little two year old.  
Mesuinu looks sadly towards the cat who had already wandered off. "Nyo....nyo.....", Mesu cries softly missing the kitty. "What did you just do to that cat?", Xellos demands of the spoiled two year old who could neither walk nor talk, but could apparently teleport and cast spells instead. Mesu gurgles and grabs her daddy's arm. A dim white light surrounds her hand causing Xellos to recoil and drop her. Of course, Mesuinu teleports safely to the ground. "That was a white magic spell! There's no WAY you can be my daughter, no, no, no way!", Xellos protests rubbing his wound.  
"General-Priest Xellos!", a small and dark faerie-like creature exclaims darting towards Xellos. "Eh, Incarius? What is it?", Xellos demands of the imp. "Lord Beastmaster wishes to see you immediately!", Incarius replies. "Good, I was getting bored.", Xellos admits. "Don't forget your daughter. Lord Beastmaster wishes to see her for herself.", the imp adds. "But but but! Very well." Incarius promptly disappears. Xellos reaches down to grab Mesuinu who immediately bites his hand. Not wanting his master to be angry with him, he immediately teleports with the little brat.  
"Ah, so this is your little baby?", Xelas Metallium inquires. "Well, no, not really. I was led to believe that she was, but there is no way she could be mine.", Xellos replies bowing as Mesuinu slides off his hand. Mesu's eyes wander towards the darting black butterfly that is flickering about. "Oh? Is that so, Xellos?" "Yes, there is no way a child of mine should be able to cast horrible holy spells." "Apparently whoever her mother was, had a lot of magical energy. Just seeing her, I believe that she possesses a very powerful ability to cast both kinds of magic." "I haven't exactly seen her cast a Dragon Slave or anything."  
"GIIIIIIII!!!" *CRUSH* "GIIIIIIIII!!!" *CRUSH* "GIIIIIII!!!" "Lo...." *CRUSH* "GIIIIIIIII!!!" "....rd...." *CRUSH* "GIIIIIIIII!" "Be....." *CRUSH* Xellos turns around to see what Mesuinu is doing and finds her crushing and resurrecting the poor little imp. "As you can see, she has a tendency to use her white magic quite mischieviously." Xellos eyes shift angerly towards Mesuinu who continues her wanton crushing and reviving of Incarius. "So that's why the little brat....." "Isn't she wonderful? And to think, I never expected that you'd create such a wonderous new servant for me." "You actually want Mesuinu?" "Yes, in fact, she'd make a fine assistant for you. You yourself have seen just how powerful of a force is created by fusing black and white magic, so she'd be a much valued initiative." "Indeed." "So do your best to raise her to serve as an Assistant General-Priest." "Is that an order?", Xellos inquires. "Yes...it is.", Beastmaster informs.  
Xellos stands atop a cliff in the desert. Mesuinu sits gazing at her surroundings on the edge of the cliff. "First lesson, if you're going to blend in, you're going to have to learn to walk. Sure, teleporting is much easier, but it gets to be pretty suspicous. Even daddy travels around by foot. Now then, come to daddy!" Mesuinu suddenly appears sitting on Xellos's staff. Xellos frowns frustrated. "My that was the right word.", Xellos remarks picking her up and setting her back on the edge. He slowly walks backs. "Alright, Mesuinu, walk for daddy!", Xellos requests wearing a fake smirk on his face. Mesuinu stumbles to stand and sets one foot in front of the other. She immediately proceeds to walk backwards and fall off the cliff.  
"MESUINU!!!", Xellos exclaims with panic and immediately teleports to the edge. He looks down, but doesn't see her. He is about to make his way down to search the ravine when he hears a "BIIIIDA!" Startled, he slips off the edge and immediately falls down to the bottom Coyote style. He is not happy. "Mesu...inu!" The two year old giggles. Certainly an evil giggle.  
Xellos picks himself up and off of the ravine floor and teleports to the top of the cliff. "Fine! I've HAD it! Do whatever you want! I'm out of here!", Xellos remarks and teleports away. Mesuinu slowly walks towards where Xellos had teleported from. Suddenly she is scooped up into her daddy's arms. "That' my little demon spawn!", Xellos proclaims proudly. Mesuinu pokes him in the eye. "Ow."  
"Now that you know how to walk, you need to learn how to talk." Xellos walks down a quaint little village road holding Mesuinu's hand tightly. "Now then, say 'daddy.'" Mesuinu sticks her tongue out. "Then how about say something that daddy really hates.", Xellos suggests. Mesuinu looks up at her daddy with a devious smile. "Say...*shudder* 'Filia.'" "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!", Mesuinu screams at the top of her lungs. Xellos smirks. "Well, if you ever learned anything from me, it's to hate Filia. After about ten minutes of screaming, Mesuinu finally quiets down. "Now then, there MUST be something you'd want to say.", Xellos notes. "Suki!", Mesuinu blurts causing her Mazoku daddy to fall flat on his face. Released from his grip, the two year old takes off. "And...she...meant...it...too.", Xellos mutters in pain. (Note: "suki", Japanese for "like" is also used to express "I love you." "Aishiteru" is a more romantic kind of love, so "suki" fits in perfectly here.)  
After several hours of tracking and chasing Mesuinu, Xellos manages to scoop her up. "Oh, our next lesson is going to be fun!", Xellos remarks sarcastically. Sighing, he carries her back to their tavern room and takes her to the restroom. "Potty training! Joy of joys!", Xellos cringes as he sets Mesuinu down. "PikaPOO!", Mesuinu giggles spitefully. "This porcelain bowl is called a toilet. When you're old enough to drink alcohol, you'll come to know it as the Porcelain God. Tis the only god us Mazoku care to worship." "Pika...POO!", Mesuinu grunts, filling the room with a hideous stench. "ACK the Porcelain God! No, no, no, and NO! You're a big girl, you poo in the Porcelain God now! Porcelain God demands TRIBUTE! Porcelain God wants ALL of your pee and poo! Give tribute to the Porcelian God!" "Pee...pee...peeka!", Mesu proclaims peeing her diaper.  
Xellos hits his head on the toilet in frustration. "By the Porcelian GOD, I've hit a rough spot!" "But just wait til I hit puberity! All the fun we'll have then!", Mesuinu comments energetically with a loud smirk. Before we go to the review, lets see the edited version. What? Is it true? Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter Two. The Terrible Twos!  
  
Having been relieved of his duties for a well deserved, and perhaps even a century long, vacation, Xellos is starting to believe that Lord Beastmaster knew of Mesuinu's existence before he himself did. "I've always been so loyal to you!", Xellos whines as Mesuinu sits on his head pulling out all of his hair that isn't gray. "Well, at least she is an evil lil half-Mazoku.", Xellos fondly reflects. A mangy and sickly allycat walks by hopping because one of its legs is broken. "Nyonyo.", Mesu whimpers sadly and disappears from her father's head. She immediately appears behind the cat and grabs its tail. "Ah, I remember when I first pulled a cat's tail. Poor cat didn't stand a chance against me!", Xellos reminisces fondly. Mesuinu mutters a few words in baby talk and the cat is suddenly looking very healthy and happy. She lets go of its tail and it starts purring as it rubs up against her soft and innocent face. "By XELAS!", Xellos exclaims in a panic quickly snatching up the little two year old.  
Mesuinu looks sadly towards the cat that had already wandered off. "Nyo....nyo.....", Mesu cries softly missing the kitty. "What did you just do to that cat?", Xellos demands of the spoiled two year old who could neither walk nor talk, but could apparently teleport and cast spells instead. Mesu gurgles and grabs her daddy's arm. A dim white light surrounds her hand causing Xellos to recoil and drop her. Of course, Mesuinu teleports safely to the ground. "That was a white magic spell! There's no WAY you can be my daughter, no, no, no way!", Xellos protests rubbing his wound.  
"General-Priest Xellos!", a small and dark faerie-like creature exclaims darting towards Xellos. "Eh, Incarius? What is it?", Xellos demands of the imp. "Lord Beastmaster wishes to see you immediately!", Incarius replies. "Good, I was getting bored.", Xellos admits. "Don't forget your daughter. Lord Beastmaster wishes to see her for herself.", the imp adds. "But but but! Very well." Incarius promptly disappears. Xellos reaches down to grab Mesuinu who immediately bites his hand. Not wanting his master to be angry with him, he immediately teleports with the little brat.  
"Ah, so this is your little baby?", Xelas Metallium inquires. "Well, no, not really. I was led to believe that she was, but there is no way she could be mine.", Xellos replies bowing as Mesuinu slides off his hand. Mesu's eyes wander towards the darting black butterfly that is flickering about. "Oh? Is that so, Xellos?" "Yes, there is no way a child of mine should be able to cast horrible holy spells." "Apparently whoever her mother was, had a lot of magical energy. Just seeing her, I believe that she possesses a very powerful ability to cast both kinds of magic." "I haven't exactly seen her cast a Dragon Slave or anything."  
"GIIIIIIII!!!" *CRUSH* "GIIIIIIIII!!!" *CRUSH* "GIIIIIII!!!" "Lo...." *CRUSH* "GIIIIIIIII!!!" "....rd...." *CRUSH* "GIIIIIIIII!" "Be....." *CRUSH* Xellos turns around to see what Mesuinu is doing and finds her crushing and resurrecting the poor little imp. "As you can see, she has a tendency to use her white magic quite mischievously." Xellos eyes shift angrily towards Mesuinu who continues her wanton crushing and reviving of Incarius. "So that's why the little brat....." "Isn't she wonderful? And to think, I never expected that you'd create such a wondrous new servant for me." "You actually want Mesuinu?" "Yes, in fact, she'd make a fine assistant for you. You yourself have seen just how powerful of a force is created by fusing black and white magic, so she'd be a much valued initiative." "Indeed." "So do your best to raise her to serve as an Assistant General-Priest." "Is that an order?", Xellos inquires. "Yes...it is.", Beastmaster informs.  
Xellos stands atop a cliff in the desert. Mesuinu sits gazing at her surroundings on the edge of the cliff. "First lesson, if you're going to blend in, you're going to have to learn to walk. Sure, teleporting is much easier, but it gets to be pretty suspicious. Even daddy travels around by foot. Now then, come to daddy!" Mesuinu suddenly appears sitting on Xellos's staff. Xellos frowns frustrated. "My that was the right word.", Xellos remarks picking her up and setting her back on the edge. He slowly walks backs. "Alright, Mesuinu, walk for daddy!", Xellos requests wearing a fake smirk on his face. Mesuinu stumbles to stand and sets one foot in front of the other. She immediately proceeds to walk backwards and fall off the cliff.  
"MESUINU!!!", Xellos exclaims with panic and immediately teleports to the edge. He looks down, but doesn't see her. He is about to make his way down to search the ravine when he hears a "BIIIIDA!" Startled, he slips off the edge and immediately falls down to the bottom Coyote style. He is not happy. "Mesu...inu!" The two-year-old giggles. Certainly an evil giggle.  
Xellos picks himself up and off of the ravine floor and teleports to the top of the cliff. "Fine! I've HAD it! Do whatever you want! I'm out of here!", Xellos remarks and teleports away. Mesuinu slowly walks towards where Xellos had teleported from. Suddenly she is scooped up into her daddy's arms. "That' my little demon spawn!", Xellos proclaims proudly. Mesuinu pokes him in the eye. "Ow."  
"Now that you know how to walk, you need to learn how to talk." Xellos walks down a quaint little village road holding Mesuinu's hand tightly. "Now then, say 'daddy.'" Mesuinu sticks her tongue out. "Then how about say something that daddy really hates.", Xellos suggests. Mesuinu looks up at her daddy with a devious smile. "Say...*shudder* 'Filia.'" "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!", Mesuinu screams at the top of her lungs. Xellos smirks. "Well, if you ever learned anything from me, it's to hate Filia." After about ten minutes of screaming, Mesuinu finally quiets down. "Now then, there MUST be something you'd want to say.", Xellos notes. "Suki!", Mesuinu blurts causing her Mazoku daddy to fall flat on his face. Released from his grip, the two-year-old takes off. "And...she...meant...it...too.", Xellos mutters in pain. (Note: "suki", Japanese for "like" is also used to express "I love you." "Aishiteru" is a more romantic kind of love, so "suki" fits in perfectly here.)  
After several hours of tracking and chasing Mesuinu, Xellos manages to scoop her up. "Oh, our next lesson is going to be fun!", Xellos remarks sarcastically. Sighing, he carries her back to their tavern room and takes her to the restroom. "Potty training! Joy of joys!", Xellos cringes as he sets Mesuinu down. "PikaPOO!", Mesuinu giggles spitefully. "This porcelain bowl is called a toilet. When you're old enough to drink alcohol, you'll come to know it as the Porcelain God. 'Tis the only god us Mazoku care to worship." "Pika...POO!", Mesuinu grunts, filling the room with a hideous stench. "ACK the Porcelain God! No, no, no, and NO! You're a big girl, you poo in the Porcelain God now! Porcelain God demands TRIBUTE! Porcelain God wants ALL of your pee and poo! Give tribute to the Porcelain God!" "Pee...pee...peeka!", Mesu proclaims peeing her diaper.  
Xellos hits his head on the toilet in frustration. "By the Porcelain GOD, I've hit a rough spot!" "But just wait 'til I hit puberty! All the fun we'll have then!", Mesuinu comments energetically with a loud smirk. Of course, you KNOW what I have to do now. AutoSummary! Yes, can't let this chapter slide without an AutoSummary! Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Poor cat didn't stand a chance against me!", Xellos reminisces fondly. Mesu gurgles and grabs her daddy's arm. Of course, Mesuinu teleports safely to the ground. "General-Priest Xellos!", a small and dark faerie-like creature exclaims darting towards Xellos. "Eh, Incarius? What is it?", Xellos demands of the imp. "Good, I was getting bored.", Xellos admits. Xellos reaches down to grab Mesuinu who immediately bites his hand. Is that so, Xellos?" "*CRUSH* "GIIIIIIIII!!!" *CRUSH* "GIIIIIII!!!" "Lo...." *CRUSH* "GIIIIIIIII!!!" *CRUSH* Xellos turns around to see what Mesuinu is doing and finds her crushing and resurrecting the poor little imp. Xellos eyes shift angerly towards Mesuinu who continues her wanton crushing and reviving of Incarius. You actually want Mesuinu?" "Is that an order?", Xellos inquires. Xellos stands atop a cliff in the desert. Mesuinu suddenly appears sitting on Xellos's staff. Xellos frowns frustrated. "Alright, Mesuinu, walk for daddy!", Xellos requests wearing a fake smirk on his face. "MESUINU!!!", Xellos exclaims with panic and immediately teleports to the edge. "Mesu...inu!" "Fine! I'm out of here!", Xellos remarks and teleports away. Mesuinu slowly walks towards where Xellos had teleported from. "That' my little demon spawn!", Xellos proclaims proudly. Mesuinu pokes him in the eye. Xellos walks down a quaint little village road holding Mesuinu's hand tightly. Mesuinu sticks her tongue out. "Then how about say something that daddy really hates.", Xellos suggests. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!", Mesuinu screams at the top of her lungs. Xellos smirks. "Suki!", Mesuinu blurts causing her Mazoku daddy to fall flat on his face. After several hours of tracking and chasing Mesuinu, Xellos manages to scoop her up. Joy of joys!", Xellos cringes as he sets Mesuinu down. "PikaPOO!", Mesuinu giggles spitefully. "ACK the Porcelain God! Porcelain God demands TRIBUTE! Pee...pee...peeka!", Mesu proclaims peeing her diaper.  
Xellos hits his head on the toilet in frustration. Now on to the review! As always, I've become the source for all of my dad's problems. In fact, while I was around, he didn't really have much of a chance for a love life. Err.correction.sex life. In this chapter, Lord Beastmaster orders Xellos to raise me to serve the monster race as an assistant General/Priest. Pretty cool you might say. Of course, I'm not really into the whole serving others. This is also the first, and possibly only chapter you'll see Incarius. If you want something cuter than that imp to look at, check out Asmodeus from MegaTokyo. What is MegaTokyo, you ask? It's a webcomic that Tsumira's addicted to. Where is MegaTokyo? www.megatokyo.com Why am I pimping the site? Cause, it's cool. Moreover, Tsumira's making me. But mainly because it's cool. Asmodeus is a pretty hot devil! Hmm.maybe I should have Tsumira write a cross over fic where I meet Asmodeus and Miho and get to join them as they wreck chaos on that pathetic loser, Piro. Oh, yes, review. What review? Was someone reviewing something? It wasn't me! I DIDN'T DO IT! Oh, yah.right.I'm suppose to be writing a very long and boring chapter that'll keep people from wanting longer chapters. Hmmm, only page 17 so far. I have to beat the record of 50 pages! Yes, Tsumira has read.well started to read a Sailor Moon fanfic that was over 50 pages long, but unfortunately someone e-mailed it to her and it got deleted. I think it was something about Saturn's twin or SOMEBODY having a twin. Oh, and Tsumira's written a 50 page fanfic before. I believe it was a Zelda fic, written in movie format. Naturally, she can't find it anymore. Oh, yes, filling up space. Sorry. Where was I? Oh yes, in Terrible Twos I torment Incarius while my father is conversing. I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH and I revive again. One hundred pages.I.have.to.get.this.fic.up.to.one hundred.pages.long. Perhaps I should start a new paragraph for each sentence. That way no one will get confused and I will get to my goal faster. Yes, that will be perfect. In Chapter Two, Xellos has to teach me EVERYTHING. He has to teach me to walk. He had to teach me to talk. He has to teach me to pay tribute to the porcelain deity. The porcelain deity is the toilet. Of course it is. This isn't going fast enough, is it? Well, I still have five chapters left to review. First, my father decides to teach me to walk. He chooses a cliff to teach me. Why? I have no idea. Maybe he really did want me to fall. Who knows? Who cares? Why should I care? You should be the one who should care. Why? Because. You're the fanfic reader. Are you tired of this chapter yet? Are you really reading every single word of this chapter? Lier. I'm Mesuinu. I know everything! You're not reading all of it. It doesn't matter. That is, it doesn't matter if you read all of this or not. If you're lazy, I'll be reviewing and providing a summary of this chapter. You can find it at the very end. Only if you're lazy that is. I wonder if Tsumira will get in trouble for this. More importantly, will this even fit onto a disk? Xellos attempts to have me walk to him. However, I teleport instead. He then demonstrates how to walk. I then decide to walk off the cliff. Xellos is panicked. He deserves to be. He goes to the edge and looks desperately for me. He can't seem to see me anywhere. Naturally, I'm right behind my daddy. I say some sort of baby talk, thus scaring him. My dad falls off the cliff and is very unhappy. The next happy lesson is teaching me to talk. Why would I want to learn to talk? Aren't there any more painful ways of communicating my desires? Now my dad decided to implement an interesting philosophy. He presumed that I would learn to talk because I would want to say something, or as the case may be, someone that he hated. This turns out to be only partially true. He suggests that I say 'Filia.' However, this only causes me to cry. In the end, I cause him much pain and distress. How? I tell him that I love him. ^^ Finally, he decides to potty train me. That plan literally goes down the toilet. The chapter ends without me being potty trained. My final comment foreshadows the next chapter! It's only the end of page 21 and we're already headed into the third chapter of the first fanfic starring me! Now that we're on page 22, I guess I should start the posting of chapter three. Chapter three is entitled Puberty Problems. First, the AutoSummary! This is in case I forget. Puberty Problems!  
  
"I seriously hope she's not on her period.", Xellos mutters worried.  
Mesuinu appears inside a forest and leans against a tree in frustration.  
Mesuinu's right arm slowly starts to transform. Her index finger and bird finger fuse together into a claw, as those her ring finger and pinky. The cloth around her shoulder blades rips slowly as an oval shaped and amber colored goo similiar in consistancy to an embryo pours out. Her kneecaps reverse causing her to fall on her clawed hands. Changing, changing, always growing up Pain and sorrow overflow Living, living, gotta step it up Twisted and corrupted by the evils here Changing, changing, always growing up Angst and torment overflow Living, living, gotta hurry up Changing, changing, always growing up Pain and sorrow overflow Living, living, gotta step it up Changing, changing, always growing up Living, living, gotta hurry up Changing, changing, always growing up Pain and sorrow overflow Living, living, gotta step it up  
Leathery bat-like wings slowly sprout from Mesuinu's back as her feet turn into wolf-like paws. Her human ears fade and sink into her skull and silver ears shapped like a wolf's form atop her head. Her body double and then tripples in size, her bat wings growing ever longer. As she grows, a LONG tail erupts from her tailbone in a flaky silver scales. Silver-white fur rapidly envelops her body, and is especially thick around her lower half of her body and her tail. The delicous cries of animals bursting into flames instantaneously without any hope for escape rises into the air spreading faster than the smoke itself.  
Mesuinu roars a twisted mixture of a lion's roar and a wolf's howl. Now for the original unedited chapter! What? Is it true? Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter Three. Puberty Problems!  
  
"I HATE YOU! I REALLY HATE YOU!", a fourteen year old Mesuinu FEROCIOUSLY screams at her father and immediately teleports away. "And she MENT it!", Xellos exclaims feeling a sudden surge of INTENSE power coursing through him. He smiles momentarily and quickly frowns. Just a few moments ago she had been happy and sickeningly perky. "I seriously hope she's not on her period.", Xellos mutters worried.  
Mesuinu appears inside a forest and leans against a tree in frustration. "By the PORCELIAN GOD!", she scowls. Her left hand clinches into an angry fist. Her rage builds up, unbidden. She screams out, and her teeth are clearly more canine and sharp than any humans. "IT HURTS!" She drops her staff, trembling. She grits her teeth in terrible pain.  
"If she's hit puberty, I'm in some SERIOUS trouble. Who knows WHAT she'll turn if to?! There's still a possibility that she has another form, but she looked very human when I found her on my doorstep. I can only hope that she has no other form. Just imagine all of the chaos she'd unleash if she did. Actually, that's quite a refreshing image, but she'd probably have no control over such a form. It's not natural to her, and considering how powerful she's become with that white and black magic, even I must confess a fear of her. I do hope Lord Beastmaster knows what she's doing. She's just as likely to destroy us as anyone else."  
Mesuinu's right arm slowly starts to transform. Her index finger and bird finger fuse together into a claw, as those her ring finger and pinky. Her moves further down and almost beneath her palm and shifts into a claw as well. From her right shoulder down, her skin turns a dull and hideous shade of peach flalking off into scales before slowly shifting to a sleek silver color. She digs her claws into her forehead as blood trickles down from them causing her pained blue eyes to close and her nose to scrunge up in agony. Her close start to rip at the seams as she slow grows larger. Her breasts DOUBLE their size BURSTING out from her top. She opens her eyes and blinks looking down at them before feeling them to make sure that they are real. She glances at her scaled arms in pain, the sleeves long since torn from them.  
Mesuinu scratches at her shoulder blades in sheer displeasure as her nose and mouth elogant into a wolf-like snout and her eyes become slant and her purple hair fades to silver and into her skin. She jerks her arms back and lets out a howled yelp of pain, twisted by her sudden inability to enunciate. The cloth around her shoulder blades rips slowly as an oval shaped and amber colored goo similiar in consistancy to an embryo pours out. Her kneecaps reverse causing her to fall on her clawed hands. Her breasts double again, as well as the rest of her, completely ripping out of her clothes. A small and pointed leather triangle jets out from the amber goo.  
  
One day you find yourself in the mirror smiling Come the next you're in your room crying Sooner or later you find you don't know yourself You've lost the child that you once were  
  
Changing, changing, always growing up Pain and sorrow overflow Living, living, gotta step it up You don't know who you are  
  
Fighting yourself in the mirror Desperately trying to go back to when You were carefree and content There's no way back  
  
And I try But I fall Can't find Myself And I cry But I fail Can't stand Myself  
  
From the innocent days of my sweet girlhood I see my reflection now as a unknown monster Twisted and corrupted by the evils here Of my miserable and broken surroundings  
  
Changing, changing, always growing up Angst and torment overflow Living, living, gotta hurry up And find out who I am!  
  
And I try I've lost the child that I once was And I cry Twisted and corrupted by the evils here But I fall Can't find myself in the mirror no more But I fail Never knowing who I really am  
  
Changing, changing, always growing up Pain and sorrow overflow Living, living, gotta step it up You don't know who you are Changing, changing, always growing up Angst and torment overflow Living, living, gotta hurry up And find out who I am! Changing, changing, always growing up Pain and sorrow overflow Living, living, gotta step it up And I don't KNOW WHO I AM!!!  
  
Leathery bat-like wings slowly sprout from Mesuinu's back as her feet turn into wolf-like paws. Her human ears fade and sink into her skull and silver ears shapped like a wolf's form atop her head. Her body double and then tripples in size, her bat wings growing ever longer. As she grows, a LONG tail erupts from her tailbone in a flaky silver scales. Silver-white fur rapidly envelops her body, and is especially thick around her lower half of her body and her tail. Her bones make an audible snap and twist as they shift her body from a bipedal humanoid to a qudraped Mazoku. The pain ceases and the transformation complete, she is now big enough to squash a fairly average sized city by simply landing upon it. More than half of the forest she is in has been reduced to toothpicks in her transforming wake.  
With no trace of humanity in her, Mesuinu finds herself adapting to very basic instincts. No longer consumed by human worries or vices, or emotions for that matter, she is free from all that has ever caused humanity to suffer...except for her of course. Without emotion...without memory...without anything more than the instinct to destory, Mesuinu unleashes a FEARSOME spray of fire from her wolf-like mouth. She rips into the ground with her claws unearthing layers upon layers of dirt and thick tree roots. The forest burns rapidly and she begins to flap her elegant and frightening wings further fanning the blaze and spreading it outwords. The delicous cries of animals bursting into flames instantaneously without any hope for escape rises into the air spreading faster than the smoke itself.  
Mesuinu roars a twisted mixture of a lion's roar and a wolf's howl. She takes one step foward, causing the ground below her to tremble in her wake. As she is about to take her next step, she collapses, instantly transforming back into her human shape. There she lay naked on the ground, in a midst of a forest turned to ash. Blood slowly trickles and spreads out around her and it doesn't appear that she will regain conscienceness any time soon. Now for the edited chapter! What? Is it true? Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter Three. Puberty Problems!  
  
"I HATE YOU! I REALLY HATE YOU!", a fourteen year old Mesuinu FEROCIOUSLY screams at her father and immediately teleports away. "And she MENT it!", Xellos exclaims feeling a sudden surge of INTENSE power coursing through him. He smiles momentarily and quickly frowns. Just a few moments ago, she had been happy and sickeningly perky. "I seriously hope she's not on her period.", Xellos mutters worried.  
Mesuinu appears inside a forest and leans against a tree in frustration. "By the PORCELIAN GOD!", she scowls. Her left hand clinches into an angry fist. Her rage builds up, unbidden. She screams out, and her teeth are clearly more canine and sharper than any human's. "IT HURTS!" She drops her staff, trembling. She grits her teeth in terrible pain.  
"If she's hit puberty, I'm in some SERIOUS trouble. Who knows WHAT she'll turn if to?! There's still a possibility that she has another form, but she looked very human when I found her on my doorstep. I can only hope that she has no other form. Just imagine all of the chaos she'd unleash if she did. Actually, that's quite a refreshing image, but she'd probably have no control over such a form. It's not natural to her, and considering how powerful she's become with that white and black magic, even I must confess a fear of her. I do hope Lord Beastmaster knows what she's doing. She's just as likely to destroy us as anyone else."  
Mesuinu's right arm slowly starts to transform. Her index finger and bird finger fuse together into a claw, as does her ring finger and pinky. Her moves further down and almost beneath her palm and shifts into a claw as well. From her right shoulder down, her skin turns a dull and hideous shade of peach flaking off into scales before slowly shifting to a sleek silver color. She digs her claws into her forehead as blood trickles down from them causing her pained blue eyes to close and her nose to scrounge up in agony. Her close start to rip at the seams as she slow grows larger. Her breasts DOUBLE their size BURSTING out from her top. She opens her eyes and blinks looking down at them before feeling them to make sure that they are real. She glances at her scaled arms in pain, the sleeves long since torn from them.  
Mesuinu scratches at her shoulder blades in sheer displeasure as her nose and mouth elegant into a wolf-like snout and her eyes become slant and her purple hair fades to silver and into her skin. She jerks her arms back and lets out a howled yelp of pain, twisted by her sudden inability to enunciate. The cloth around her shoulder blades rips slowly as an oval shaped and amber colored goo similar in consistency to an embryo, pours out. Her kneecaps reverse causing her to fall on her clawed hands. Her breasts double again, as well as the rest of her, completely ripping out of her clothes. A small and pointed leather triangle jets out from the amber goo.  
  
One day you find yourself in the mirror smiling Come the next you're in your room crying Sooner or later you find you don't know yourself You've lost the child that you once were  
  
Changing, changing, always growing up Pain and sorrow overflow Living, living, gotta step it up You don't know who you are  
  
Fighting yourself in the mirror Desperately trying to go back to when You were carefree and content There's no way back  
  
And I try But I fall Can't find Myself And I cry But I fail Can't stand Myself  
  
From the innocent days of my sweet girlhood I see my reflection now as a unknown monster Twisted and corrupted by the evils here Of my miserable and broken surroundings  
  
Changing, changing, always growing up Angst and torment overflow Living, living, gotta hurry up And find out who I am!  
  
And I try I've lost the child that I once was And I cry Twisted and corrupted by the evils here But I fall Can't find myself in the mirror no more But I fail Never knowing who I really am  
  
Changing, changing, always growing up Pain and sorrow overflow Living, living, gotta step it up You don't know who you are Changing, changing, always growing up Angst and torment overflow Living, living, gotta hurry up And find out who I am! Changing, changing, always growing up Pain and sorrow overflow Living, living, gotta step it up And I don't KNOW WHO I AM!!!  
  
Leathery bat-like wings slowly sprout from Mesuinu's back as her feet turn into wolf-like paws. Her human ears fade and sink into her skull and silver ears shaped like a wolf's form atop her head. Her body doubles and then triples in size, her bat wings growing ever longer. As she grows, a LONG tail erupts from her tailbone in flaky silver scales. Silver-white fur rapidly envelops her body, and is especially thick around her lower half of her body and her tail. Her bones make an audible snap and twist as they shift her body from a bipedal humanoid to a quadruped Mazoku. The pain ceases and the transformation complete, she is now big enough to squash a fairly average sized city by simply landing upon it. More than half of the forest she is in has been reduced to toothpicks in her transforming wake.  
With no trace of humanity in her, Mesuinu finds herself adapting to very basic instincts. No longer consumed by human worries, vices, or emotions for that matter, she is free from all that has ever caused humanity to suffer...except for her of course. Without emotion...without memory...without anything more than the instinct to destroy, Mesuinu unleashes a FEARSOME spray of fire from her wolf-like mouth. She rips into the ground with her claws unearthing layers upon layers of dirt and thick tree roots. The forest burns rapidly and she begins to flap her elegant and frightening wings further fanning the blaze and spreading it outwards. The delicious cries of animals bursting into flames instantaneously without any hope for escape rises into the air spreading faster than the smoke itself.  
Mesuinu roars a twisted mixture of a lion's roar and a wolf's howl. She takes one step forward, causing the ground below her to tremble in her wake. As she is about to take her next step, she collapses, instantly transforming back into her human shape. There she lay naked on the ground, in a midst of a forest turned to ash. Blood slowly trickles and spreads out around her and it doesn't appear that she will regain consciousness any time soon. Are you still reading? Of course not. You gave up reading a long time ago. Well, now were we? Oh, have I reviewed chapter three yet? You wouldn't know, would you? You're not reading the whole thing anyways. I'll assume I haven't. I'm not writing this non-stop. Remember, it took my dad eighteen years to write the list of who my mother cannot be. Well, on to review chapter three. Chapter three was pretty short. It was pretty pointless too. You like pointless. You like pointless if. You're still reading this. Unless you're really bored of course. Or this is the first chapter you've read. And you don't want to read the previous chapters. Or perhaps you're insane too. I'm insane. Tsumira's kind of insane. Do you think she's insane? Not that it really matters what you think. Assuming that you read that part. Back to the review. I have a fight with my dad. Typical teenage stuff. I storm off. I arrive in a nearby woods. Puberty hits me hard. Like a dragon. Not just any dragon. A dragon sumo wrestler. Sumo wrestlers are cool. Dragons are dispicable. Dragon sumo wrestlers are just ridiculous. I transform. Into something horrible. I don't have a name for it yet. I cause havoc. I cause chaos. I burn the forest down. I pass out. Next chapter. Chapter four. It's called Lists and Quests. Here's the AutoSummary. You know every chapter needs one. Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Lists and Quests.  
  
Otousan!", Mesuinu greets her father coming out from nowhere. "Oi Mesuinu!", Xellos groans as his grown girl embraces him in a tight hug. Mesuinu lets go with a smirk. Xellos raises a brow and sweatdrops. "Wow, I didn't think you remembered my birthday!", Mesuinu exclaims in shock. You're turning twelve now, right?", Xellos comments. Mesuinu glares at her father. Mesuinu shakes her head. GIMME GIMME GIMME!" Xellos hands her a thick roll of parchment. "It's actually a list of who your mother can't be.", Xellos answers frankly. Mesuinu falls over. "A list of who my mother CAN'T BE?!!! Mesuinu glares again at her father. "Sore wa himitsu desu!", Xellos retorts with his famous line.  
Mesuinu manifests a microphone into her hand. You're not going to sing!", Xellos quakes with fear (ANUBIS ANUBIS WE LOVE ANUBIS AKA SHUTEN DOJI!!!!).  
  
"I'm just a girl [Mesuinu bats her eyelashes innocently] Never hurt anyone [Mesuinu hits Xellos with her staff] But daddy but...  
  
But daddy but I want to do this [Mesuinu tap dances with her staff] But daddy but [Mesuinu stops tap dancing] I know it must be sad [Mesuinu makes sad eyes] To see your little girl grown, [Mesuinu makes her breasts bounce slightly] The chaos I've sown [Mesuinu gives a tradition Xellos eyes closed smile] I can be that girl again [Mesuinu smiles innocently] [Mesuinu turns into a chibi]  
  
But daddy but [Xellos sweatdrops, relieved that she isn't singing about love and peace]  
  
But daddy but [Xellos sweatdrops again] But daddy but ^^ [Mesuinu hugs Xellos as he falls over]  
  
"Bye daddy! I'm going off to look for my mother!", Mesuinu informs and teleports away. "Dear Porcelian God, I thought she'd never leave.", Xellos mutters relieved.  
  
"I'm going to cast Magic Missile." "Uh-oh, Lina's casting a spell!" "I'm casting Magic Missile." "But there's nothing to attack.", Zel informs. Zel rolls a few dice. "I attack the darkness!", Lina informs. "Blue eyes.", Gourry corrects. Zel rolls his eyes. I'm Gourry." "I'm Lina, sorceress of light!" "I casted Mortekhaim's Magical Watch Dog!", Lina protests.  
"Well enough of that," Mesuinu begins, "I better stop procrastinating and begin my quest. Oh right! Mesuinu takes out the parchment and unrolls it. Naga the Serpent, formly known as Princess Gracia of Seiryuun, cannot be your mother. Sylphiel cannot be your mother because she's madly in love with Gourry. Lord of Nightmares cannot be your mother for we all simply exist.  
"Uh-huh. Now for the unedited chapter! Enthrall yourselves. You know you want to. What? Is it true? Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter Four. Lists and Quests.  
  
It had been four years since Mesuinu was found in the ashes of a once great and vast woods. Having been found naked in the woods, lightly bruised and soaked in ashes, none could know how she could have survived such a mysterious and deadly occurance, especially near the center of the phenomenon. However, her father, Xellos, had a few theories of his own.  
  
"What happened back then? Not even I know. When she was found, she had no clothes on and couldn't remember anything that had happened after she teleported. What did she do in the woods? Did she transform? What did she turn into? I still have no verification that she can transform. She's only a half-Mazoku, but there's still that possibility. I'm already well aware of the potential devestation she could cause by combining her natural finesse for casting white and black magic, but I still do not know if she can transform. Ah, I probably shouldn't worry about it too much. Lord Beastmaster didn't order me to determined whether or not she can transform. If one thing it did proof...she's very powerful."  
"Oi! Otousan!", Mesuinu greets her father coming out from nowhere. "Oi Mesuinu!", Xellos groans as his grown girl embraces him in a tight hug. Mesuinu lets go with a smirk. "Do you know what day it is?" Xellos raises a brow and sweatdrops. "Uh, the day you annoy me?" "Wow, I didn't think you remembered my birthday!", Mesuinu exclaims in shock. "Oh, yes, your birthday. You're turning twelve now, right?", Xellos comments. Mesuinu glares at her father. "Eighteen, I'm turning eighteen." "How could I forget your eighteenth birthday?! The day I had been looking foward all of these past eighteen years! The day I get to kick you out once and for all!", Xellos exclaims with sheer Mazoku delight.  
Mesuinu shakes her head. "Oh, but I do have a present for you!", Xellos informs. "Oh? GIMME GIMME GIMME!" Xellos hands her a thick roll of parchment. "What's this? It's too big to be a scroll of magical spells, even if it lists all of the spells in all aspects of magic from all parts of the world.", Mesuinu notes. "It's actually a list of who your mother can't be.", Xellos answers frankly. Mesuinu falls over. "A list of who my mother CAN'T BE?!!! YOU'VE NARROWED IT DOWN THIS MUCH AND YOU STILL DON'T KNOW?!" "Well there ARE six billion and counting humans on this planet, and of course you've got to take in consideration all of the other humanoids that might possibly be sexually compatible enough to produce you and well...I don't even think I could count that high, so I really haven't narrowed it down at all.", Xellos admits. Mesuinu glares again at her father. "Haven't narrowed it down at all? Don't tell me it's blank!" "Of course not! I didn't spend eighteen years writing nothing! It is completely and totally full! If I wrote anymore you'd have to travel all the way around the universe to finish reading it! Well, now then you can set out on your quest!"  
"And what about you? What will YOU be doing while I'm gone?", Mesuinu demands. "Sore wa himitsu desu!", Xellos retorts with his famous line. "Hana wo shite kudasai.", Mesuinu orders her dad to give her a straight answer (lit. Please speak). "I don't know...I'll find something to do now that you're not around." "You're going to miss me?" "By the Porcelian God...no!"  
Mesuinu manifests a microphone into her hand. "Oh no! You're not going to sing!", Xellos quakes with fear (ANUBIS ANUBIS WE LOVE ANUBIS AKA SHUTEN DOJI!!!!). "As nightsiren02 requested, I'm going to sing But Daddy But! Of course, what she didn't know was that I was going to sing it anyways, but let us boost her ego for a bit, shall we?" Xellos tries to teleport away, but fails. "Hey! I'm not an abra and I'm not in a trainer battle!", Xellos protests to no avail.  
  
"I'm just a girl [Mesuinu bats her eyelashes innocently] Never hurt anyone [Mesuinu hits Xellos with her staff] But daddy but...  
  
But daddy but I want to do this [Mesuinu tap dances with her staff] But daddy but [Mesuinu stops tap dancing] I want to be that [Mesuinu's outfit changes to that of an Amazon warrior] But daddy...but [Mesuinu's outfit reverts to normal]  
  
I know it must be sad [Mesuinu makes sad eyes] To see your little girl grown, [Mesuinu makes her breasts bounce slightly] But take heart in The chaos I've sown [Mesuinu gives a tradition Xellos eyes closed smile] I can be that girl again [Mesuinu smiles innocently] Just say the word And it'll be so! [Mesuinu turns into a chibi]  
  
But daddy but Who is my mommy? But daddy but Why don't you know? But daddy...but [Mesuinu reverts back to her adult form]  
  
I am different from this world Different and the same as you But does that daddy, Make me stronger than you? [Xellos sweatdrops, relieved that she isn't singing about love and peace]  
  
But daddy but Why can I do the things I do? But daddy but Am I just a half-mazoku? [Xellos sweatdrops again] But daddy but Why am I the way I am But daddy but You just don't understand [Mesuinu makes a pouty and rebellious face] But daddy... I love you!" ^^ [Mesuinu hugs Xellos as he falls over]  
  
"Bye daddy! I'll miss annoying you! I'm going off to look for my mother!", Mesuinu informs and teleports away. "Dear Porcelian God, I thought she'd never leave.", Xellos mutters relieved.  
  
"Alright, you're in a dark and dank dungeon.", Zelgadis introduces. "Can I get a beer?" "Yah go ahead!" "I can cast any of the spells on the list?", Lina asks for clarification. "Yes." "Can I get some lollipops?" "Go ahead!" "I'm going to cast Magic Missile." "Uh-oh, Lina's casting a spell!" "Huh, what? What are you doing Lina?", Zelgadis asks. "I'm casting Magic Missile." "But there's nothing to attack.", Zel informs. "I'm at the bar, right? Am I getting drunk?!" Zel rolls a few dice. "YES YOU'RE GETTING DRUNK!" "I attack the darkness!", Lina informs. "Okay...okay you attack the darkness." Everyone begins to laugh. "HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!!!" Their ears start to bleed and Zelgadis throws a sharp d4 at, yes, Naga causing her to shut up. "Alright, you see an elf." "That's me, right?", Gourry wonders. "He's got blonde hair and gray eyes." "Blue eyes.", Gourry corrects. "Let me see your sheet.", Zel orders and looks at Gourry's character sheet. "It says gray, but I decided I wanted blue." Zel rolls his eyes. "Anyways, you two see each other. You can talk if you want." "I'm Gourry." "I'm Lina, sorceress of light!" "Then why'd you have to cast Magic Missile on the darkness?", Gourry retorts. Everyone laughs again and Zel has to throw another d4 at Naga. "Alright, you're surrounded by trolls!" "What? I casted Mortekhaim's Magical Watch Dog!", Lina protests. "But you didn't actually cast it. You didn't say that you were casting it."  
  
"Well enough of that," Mesuinu begins, "I better stop procrastinating and begin my quest. Where to begin? Oh right! Dad gave me a list of who can't be my mother. I better start looking at it." Mesuinu takes out the parchment and unrolls it. It continues to roll down through the city, on through the woods, and into the next kingdom over before she finally loses sight of it. "Uh...that's pretty long."  
  
Lina Inverse cannot be your mother because I would never sleep with such a flat-chested and beanpoled little girl unless Lord Beastmaster ordered me to, and Lord Beastmaster hasn't ordered me to so she's not your mother.  
  
Amelia Wil Tesla Seiryuun cannot be your mother for obvious reasons that I shouldn't even after to state. Think love and justice and that should explain everything.  
  
Naga the Serpent, formly known as Princess Gracia of Seiryuun, cannot be your mother. Even though beer and coffee go good together, her laugh and my eardrums do not.  
  
Martina cannot be your mother because she's married. Actually, that wouldn't stop me, but she's an otaku and she really scares me, though not as much Naga.  
  
Sylphiel cannot be your mother because she's madly in love with Gourry. The whole goody-goody goes against my personality as well.  
  
Lord Beastmaster cannot be your mother because technically, she's your grandmother and she wouldn't let me do that with her. It's so unfair!  
  
Lord of Nightmares cannot be your mother for we all simply exist. If we ceased to have exist, then she might actually be a possibility.  
  
Filia Ul Copt can NEVER EVER ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT THE SLIGHTLY CHANCE OR POSSIBILTY be your mother in any way, shape, or form because she is a loudmouthed, annoying, hideous, hypocritical, loathsome, ridiculous, snobby,stubborn, arrogant golden dragon that is bossy, irritating, boorish, repugnant, duplicitious, despicable, preposterous, obstinate , stuck-up, supercilious, domineering, vexing, uncouth, obnoxious, treacherous, vile, outlandish, adamant , snooty, pompous, officious, frustrating, coarse, intolerable, precarious, abhorrent, eccentric, obdurate, pretentious, haughty, interfering, exasperating, crass, unendurable, internecine, aberrant, zigzagging, la-di-da, monochromatic, killjoy, pallid, quarrelsome, namby-pamby, vehement, bucolic, yuppie, subnormal, chauvinistic, febrile, deadening, abnoxious, travesty, anachronistic, infuriating, sycophantic, uncongenial, callous, innocuous, impractical, obscure, obsequiously, obsessive, tenacious, obstreperous, pertinacious, peturbed, purulent, cantankerous, sacredotal, sadistic, sanguinary, sassy, maladjusted, maladroit, malecontent, mangy.......  
  
"Uh-huh. I think that's really all too much more than I needed to know.", Mesuinu comments. She shakes her head and sighs. She begins rolling up her parchment. Two weeks later, it is all rolled up and she is ready to set out on her journey. Now for edited version! Yah! Great joy! Joyous occasion! Wonderful! Happy feeling! Love and joy and peace and love! Is my dad on the floor yet? Edited version here! What? Is it true? Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter Four. Lists and Quests.  
  
It had been four years since Mesuinu was found in the ashes of a once great and vast woods. Having been found naked in the woods, lightly bruised and soaked in ashes, none could know how she could have survived such a mysterious and deadly occurrence, especially near the center of the phenomenon. However, her father, Xellos, had a few theories of his own.  
  
"What happened back then? Not even I know. When she was found, she had no clothes on and couldn't remember anything that had happened after she teleported. What did she do in the woods? Did she transform? What did she turn into? I still have no verification that she can transform. She's only a half-Mazoku, but there's still that possibility. I'm already well aware of the potential devastation she could cause by combining her natural finesse for casting white and black magic, but I still do not know if she can transform. Ah, I probably shouldn't worry about it too much. Lord Beastmaster didn't order me to determined whether or not she can transform. If one thing it did proof...she's very powerful."  
"Oi! Otousan!", Mesuinu greets her father coming out from nowhere. "Oi Mesuinu!", Xellos groans as his grown girl embraces him in a tight hug. Mesuinu lets go with a smirk. "Do you know what day it is?" Xellos raises a brow and sweatdrops. "Uh, the day you annoy me?" "Wow, I didn't think you remembered my birthday!", Mesuinu exclaims in shock. "Oh, yes, your birthday. You're turning twelve now, right?", Xellos comments. Mesuinu glares at her father. "Eighteen, I'm turning eighteen." "How could I forget your eighteenth birthday?! The day I had been looking forward to all of these past eighteen years! The day I get to kick you out once and for all!", Xellos exclaims with sheer Mazoku delight.  
Mesuinu shakes her head. "Oh, but I do have a present for you!", Xellos informs. "Oh? GIMME GIMME GIMME!" Xellos hands her a thick roll of parchment. "What's this? It's too big to be a scroll of magical spells, even if it lists all of the spells in all aspects of magic from all parts of the world.", Mesuinu notes. "It's actually a list of who your mother can't be.", Xellos answers frankly. Mesuinu falls over. "A list of who my mother CAN'T BE?!!! YOU'VE NARROWED IT DOWN THIS MUCH AND YOU STILL DON'T KNOW?!" "Well there ARE six billion and counting humans on this planet, and of course you've got to take in consideration all of the other humanoids that might possibly be sexually compatible enough to produce you and well...I don't even think I could count that high, so I really haven't narrowed it down at all.", Xellos admits. Mesuinu glares again at her father. "Haven't narrowed it down at all? Don't tell me it's blank!" "Of course not! I didn't spend eighteen years writing nothing! It is completely and totally full! If I wrote any more you'd have to travel all the way around the universe to finish reading it! Well, now then you can set out on your quest!"  
"And what about you? What will YOU be doing while I'm gone?", Mesuinu demands. "Sore wa himitsu desu!", Xellos retorts with his famous line. "Hana wo shite kudasai.", Mesuinu orders her dad to give her a straight answer (lit. Please speak). "I don't know...I'll find something to do now that you're not around." "You're going to miss me?" "By the Porcelain God...no!"  
Mesuinu manifests a microphone into her hand. "Oh no! You're not going to sing!", Xellos quakes with fear (ANUBIS ANUBIS WE LOVE ANUBIS AKA SHUTEN DOJI!!!!). "As nightsiren02 requested, I'm going to sing But Daddy But! Of course, what she didn't know was that I was going to sing it anyways, but let us boost her ego for a bit, shall we?" Xellos tries to teleport away, but fails. "Hey! I'm not an abra and I'm not in a trainer battle!", Xellos protests to no avail.  
  
"I'm just a girl [Mesuinu bats her eyelashes innocently] Never hurt anyone [Mesuinu hits Xellos with her staff] But daddy but...  
  
But daddy but I want to do this [Mesuinu tap dances with her staff] But daddy but [Mesuinu stops tap dancing] I want to be that [Mesuinu's outfit changes to that of an Amazon warrior] But daddy...but [Mesuinu's outfit reverts to normal]  
  
I know it must be sad [Mesuinu makes sad eyes] To see your little girl grown, [Mesuinu makes her breasts bounce slightly] But take heart in The chaos I've sown [Mesuinu gives a tradition Xellos eyes closed smile] I can be that girl again [Mesuinu smiles innocently] Just say the word And it'll be so! [Mesuinu turns into a chibi]  
  
But daddy but Who is my mommy? But daddy but Why don't you know? But daddy...but [Mesuinu reverts back to her adult form]  
  
I am different from this world Different and the same as you But does that daddy, Make me stronger than you? [Xellos sweatdrops, relieved that she isn't singing about love and peace]  
  
But daddy but Why can I do the things I do? But daddy but Am I just a half-mazoku? [Xellos sweatdrops again] But daddy but Why am I the way I am But daddy but You just don't understand [Mesuinu makes a pouty and rebellious face] But daddy... I love you!" ^^ [Mesuinu hugs Xellos as he falls over]  
  
"Bye daddy! I'll miss annoying you! I'm going off to look for my mother!", Mesuinu informs and teleports away. "Dear Porcelain God, I thought she'd never leave.", Xellos mutters relieved.  
  
"Alright, you're in a dark and dank dungeon.", Zelgadis introduces. "Can I get a beer?" "Yah go ahead!" "I can cast any of the spells on the list?", Lina asks for clarification. "Yes." "Can I get some lollipops?" "Go ahead!" "I'm going to cast Magic Missile." "Uh-oh, Lina's casting a spell!" "Huh, what? What are you doing Lina?", Zelgadis asks. "I'm casting Magic Missile." "But there's nothing to attack.", Zel informs. "I'm at the bar, right? Am I getting drunk?!" Zel rolls a few dice. "YES YOU'RE GETTING DRUNK!" "I attack the darkness!", Lina informs. "Okay...okay you attack the darkness." Everyone begins to laugh. "HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!!!" Their ears start to bleed and Zelgadis throws a sharp d4 at, yes, Naga causing her to shut up. "Alright, you see an elf." "That's me, right?", Gourry wonders. "He's got blonde hair and gray eyes." "Blue eyes.", Gourry corrects. "Let me see your sheet.", Zel orders and looks at Gourry's character sheet. "It says gray, but I decided I wanted blue." Zel rolls his eyes. "Anyways, you two see each other. You can talk if you want." "I'm Gourry." "I'm Lina, sorceress of light!" "Then why'd you have to cast Magic Missile on the darkness?", Gourry retorts. Everyone laughs again and Zel has to throw another d4 at Naga. "Alright, you're surrounded by trolls!" "What? I casted Mortekhaim's Magical Watch Dog!", Lina protests. "But you didn't actually cast it. You didn't say that you were casting it."  
  
"Well enough of that," Mesuinu begins, "I better stop procrastinating and begin my quest. Where to begin? Oh right! Dad gave me a list of who can't be my mother. I better start looking at it." Mesuinu takes out the parchment and unrolls it. It continues to roll down through the city, on through the woods, and into the next kingdom over before she finally loses sight of it. "Uh...that's pretty long."  
  
Lina Inverse cannot be your mother because I would never sleep with such a flat-chested and beanpoled little girl unless Lord Beastmaster ordered me to, and Lord Beastmaster hasn't ordered me to so she's not your mother.  
  
Amelia Wil Tesla Seiryuun cannot be your mother for obvious reasons that I shouldn't even after to state. Think love and justice and that should explain everything.  
  
Naga the Serpent, formally known as Princess Gracia of Seiryuun, cannot be your mother. Although beer and coffee go good together, her laugh and my eardrums do not.  
  
Martina cannot be your mother because she's married. Actually, that wouldn't stop me, but she's an otaku and she really scares me, though not as much Naga.  
  
Sylphiel cannot be your mother because she's madly in love with Gourry. The whole goody-goody goes against my personality as well.  
  
Lord Beastmaster cannot be your mother because technically, she's your grandmother and she wouldn't let me do that with her. It's so unfair!  
  
Lord of Nightmares cannot be your mother for we all simply exist. If we ceased to have existed, then she might actually be a possibility.  
  
Filia Ul Copt can NEVER EVER ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT THE SLIGHTLY CHANCE OR POSSIBILTY be your mother in any way, shape, or form because she is a loudmouthed, annoying, hideous, hypocritical, loathsome, ridiculous, snobby, stubborn, arrogant golden dragon that is bossy, irritating, boorish, repugnant, duplicitous, despicable, preposterous, obstinate , stuck-up, supercilious, domineering, vexing, uncouth, obnoxious, treacherous, vile, outlandish, adamant , snooty, pompous, officious, frustrating, coarse, intolerable, precarious, abhorrent, eccentric, obdurate, pretentious, haughty, interfering, exasperating, crass, unendurable, internecine, aberrant, zigzagging, la-di-da, monochromatic, killjoy, pallid, quarrelsome, namby-pamby, vehement, bucolic, yuppie, subnormal, chauvinistic, febrile, deadening, obnoxious, travesty, anachronistic, infuriating, sycophantic, uncongenial, callous, innocuous, impractical, obscure, obsequiously, obsessive, tenacious, obstreperous, pertinacious, perturbed, purulent, cantankerous, sacerdotal, sadistic, sanguinary, sassy, maladjusted, maladroit, malcontent, mangy.......  
  
"Uh-huh. I think that's really all too much more than I needed to know.", Mesuinu comments. She shakes her head and sighs. She begins rolling up her parchment. Two weeks later, it is all rolled up and she is ready to set out on her journey. This chapter is my birthday! Where are my presents? You didn't get me anything? How could you be so cruel?! Even my own father got me a gift! Even if it was a stupid list. A very long list. A list that I must use to discover who my mom is. Still. He got me something. You didn't. You're awful. You deserve to die. Just not right now. I'm not finished with my torture yet. I'm only on page 40. I still have three chapters to go after this. It is my birthday. My father claimed that I was twelve. I'm eighteen. He gave me a list. The list contains the names of everyone he knows that cannot be my mother. It's probably longer than a list of those who can be my mother. It's mainly Filia bashing. Filia bashing is good. Being bashed by Filia is bashed. Repeat. Yes, repeat. If Pete and Repeat were sitting on a fence. And Pete got off. Who is left? I don't care! Well, the best part of this chapter is my song. Nightsiren02 requested it to be put in this chapter. Tsumira was planning on doing so anyways. But Daddy But is my version of Xellos image song, But But But. Tsumira wrote it before chapter one. The original chapter one was written nearly four years ago. That was even before she wrote But Daddy But. Originally there were three copies before the fanfiction version. The first was the original story. It was saved on disk. Naturally it was lost. The second was on a homestead.com website. Homestead became gay. The story was lost. The third was on animefiction.tripod.com I think it ate it or something. Neither I nor Tsumira can find it. It's as lost as Irony-chan's Slayers fic, A Mile in Your Shoes. That was a good fic. Has anyone seen it around? There was a link to it on one of Tsumira's sites. The link is dead. No site there anymore. That sucks. She should have saved the story onto disk. Then again, she would have lost the disk then. Oh, chapter two is also the second copy. The first chapter two was also on Homestead. You already know what happened to that. That is all the Mesuinu fics that were written before Chapter One. Back to Chapter Four. Where was I? Reviewing? I think so. Oh, the song. Best part of the story. That and the DnD part. Don't know where it came from? Find out. Watch the original. Then watch the 8-Bit Theater Version. 8-Bit Theater was the best. MegaTokyo \/\/4 7073/\/\0 l33t. /\/\0 l33t 7|-|4|\| 07|-|3r \/\/38(0/\/\1(z. J0. Oh, Samurai Troopers reference. The Oni Masho is my favorite Masho. He's Anubis, Dark Warlord of Cruelty in the dub, Ronin Warriors. I don't know why they changed his name. Cale is called Anubis in the Japanese version. It makes no sense. They should have killed the Japanese Anubis. The English Anubis should have lived. He's hot! And sexy. Mmmm.Shuten Doji. Was I saying something? Anything important? Okay. Did I finish the review? Who cares? Not me. Not you. No one cares. Next series. Mesuinu's Quest. Chapter One. Who is the God of Secrets? In Japanese. Kami no Himitsu wa dare desu ka? Only 44 pages. I must get at least 51. Forty-five now. Getting closer. Still a lot further to go. A long way to go in order to reach 100 pages. AutoSummary. Here. Xellos has a daughter! Mesuinu's Quest!  
  
Mesuinu enters a small and quaint town. Mesuinu rubs her eyes a bit and opens them. "Ah...ah...hmmm.", Mesu sighs.  
  
I am the mysteriously wonderful priestess Mesuinu!", Mesu informs with a bow. "I am Seirra. Please, priestess, you must heal my sick brother!" "Please come with me!", Seirra exclaims grabbing Mesuinu's arm and running off with her to her humble abode.  
  
Mesuinu and Seirra arrive at Seirra and her brother's small cottage home in the village. I'm just about to cook lunch.", Seirra informs heading into the tiny kitchen. "Oh, he won't be home until this evening.", Seirra replies. Mesuinu falls back and out of her seat. "This EVENING?!", Mesuinu exclaims. Seirra heads back into the kitchen and finishes lunch up. "Thanks!" "Oh, it's the least I can do for the priestess who's going to help my brother.", Seirra comments. Seirra takes a pitcher and fills Mesuinu's glass with homemade wine. "Wine?", Mesuinu inquires. Mesuinu takes a tiny sip. not bad.", Mesuinu informs. "Thank you. Please, enjoy.", Seirra informs taking a seat and beginning to eat her soup. "For the Porcelain Deity!", Mesuinu exclaims and digs into her soap. You must be very tired, please rest in the bedroom.", Seirra informs. A nap is only fitting for after eating.", Mesuinu comments and follows Seirra into the bedroom. "Ah, it looks so comfortable. Thank you.", Mesuinu thanks and jumps into the bed that creaks as she bounces slightly. Well then, I'll wake you when my brother has arrived.", Seirra speaks. Seirra nods and steps out of the bedroom.  
  
Mesuinu reclines on the bed, her staff leaning against the bed and her arms under her head. "Free lunch...free bed. Forcing out a yawn, Mesuinu closes her eyes and slowly drifts into slumber.  
  
Seirra smiles peeking in on the sleeping Mesuinu before heading back to washing dishes. Mesuinu peeks one of her eyes open, yet still silted. "Is your brother home already?", Mesu asks slyly. I really can't thank you enough.", Seirra informs. Mesuinu's eye focuses on Seirra as she picks up a broom and begins sweeping the house.  
  
"One sweep. Two sweep. Clean. One sweep. Two sweep. Clean. Clean. Not nearly amusing enough.", Mesuinu comments watching Seirra sweep back and forth to little avail. Now I KNOW my father never came to this town.", Mesuinu reflects silently and closes her eyes again. Slowly, but surely, she falls asleep.  
  
Seirra sighs and continues her boring and virtually pointless sweeping. Mesuinu yawns, startling Seirra. Mesuinu yawns again, but Seirra ignores it and continues her house tidying. Mesuinu notes that the feminine one is the same as Seirra, and the vampire-like male, had to be her "brother." Mesuinu blinks innocently. "Oh, it appears that the entire town are vampires.", Mesuinu states the obvious. Mesuinu sighs fondly.  
  
Maybe I should make the AutoSummary longer? I know, I'll put all of the chapters before this one together. Then I'll put up an AutoSummary of that. Although that would almost be like the AutoSummary of this chapter that I will do at the end of this chapter. After that AutoSummary, I will have to do another to keep it update. Then another. And another. And another. Until I pass out. Give up. Reach 100 pages. Or until you die. Whichever comes first. Now to the first chapter. We've done the AutoSummary. You know what that means. No, not that we're on page 47. It means that we're going to go to the Unedited version. Did you think I'd do the edited version first? What for? I'm not doing it. I won't do it that way. Sorry. I have to put my foot down. I have to make my stand. Unedited version first. That's final. I'm writing the fic here. Not you. Not Tsumira. Me. Mesuinu. Daughter of Xellos. Daughter of some other person who abandoned me. Mysterious miko of mischief. Not you. Unedited. Here. Now. It is True! Xellos has a daughter! Mesuinu's Quest!  
  
Chapter One. Who IS the God of Secrets?  
  
Mesuinu enters a small and quaint town. Noticing an obvious lack of boozing place, she shakes her head and sighs, realizing that it is highly unlikely that her father ever came to such a town for pleasurable enjoyments. Despite her very human appearance and mannerisms, she still manages to stand out in this quiet little village. Maybe she should have her eyes open...ah...but the sun...the sun hurts her eyes. Mesuinu rubs her eyes a bit and opens them. Unlike Xellos, her eyes are bright and big and almost cheerful, though they still resonate with a slight mischief. Was there anything else making her stand out? Her curious expression is little welcoming. She sighs and smiles a cheerful grin that would have sent her father to the grave.  
  
Mesuinu puts her left hand behind the back of her head, desperately trying to figure out what makes her stand out in the crowd. She blinks a couple of times and poses her staff at an angle so she can rest her head upon it. "Ah...ah...hmmm.", Mesu sighs.  
  
A fair and beautiful young maiden with golden hair in very large curls and friendly blue eyes approaches the girl in a pink dress that only Goldilocks would wear. At least it wasn't Little BOB Peep. "Excuse me miss, you are a priestess, right?", the maiden inquires. "A priestess," Mesuinu comments realizing what separates her from the others, "are you looking for one?" "Yes I am. My brother is very ill, and the local cleric is out of town.", the young lady explains. "You're just in luck! I am the mysteriously wonderful priestess Mesuinu!", Mesu informs with a bow. "I am Seirra. Please, priestess, you must heal my sick brother!" "I'm not sure if I'm the kind of priestess that you're looking for. I'm a priestess of Kamino Himitsu! Keeper of all knowledge, especially that which is not meant for mortals to know.", Mesu explains. "Oh then you would know what is wrong with my brother and how to cure him! Please come with me!", Seirra exclaims grabbing Mesuinu's arm and running off with her to her humble abode.  
  
Mesuinu and Seirra arrive at Seirra and her brother's small cottage home in the village. There are only four rooms in the entire house, and although being small, it is still quite comfortable and welcoming. "Please, have a seat. I'm just about to cook lunch.", Seirra informs heading into the tiny kitchen. "Well that's kind of you, but where's your brother.", Mesu inquires taking a seat and stretching her legs across the table. "Oh, he won't be home until this evening.", Seirra replies. Mesuinu falls back and out of her seat. "This EVENING?!", Mesuinu exclaims. "Are you alright?", Seirra inquires with concern stepping out of the kitchen. "Oh yes, I was just wondering why your brother isn't currently home.", Mesuinu speaks sitting in her chair properly, which mysteriously shows no signs of haven fallen over. "Oh, he's at work in the woods. Ever since our parents died my brother went to work as a woodsman to support us...and even though he's very ill, he keeps working out in the woods. Please, just make yourself comfortable while you wait. I'll have lunch ready soon, so please enjoy that.", Seirra explains.  
  
Mesuinu sighs and decides to make the best of it, by enjoying a free meal. Seirra heads back into the kitchen and finishes lunch up. She heads back out with two fresh bowls of soup and begins setting the table for lunch. "Thanks!" "Oh, it's the least I can do for the priestess who's going to help my brother.", Seirra comments. Mesuinu sweatdrops, wondering if she should leave before she's expected to save the world or something. Seirra takes a pitcher and fills Mesuinu's glass with homemade wine. "Wine?", Mesuinu inquires. "Homemade. It's made from berries that I pick from my garden." Mesuinu takes a tiny sip. "Mmmm...not bad.", Mesuinu informs. "Thank you. Please, enjoy.", Seirra informs taking a seat and beginning to eat her soup. "For the Porcelain Deity!", Mesuinu exclaims and digs into her soap. Seirra raises a brow in confusion then shrugs and continues eating.  
  
Mesuinu polishes off her soup and wine within a few minutes and pats her filled belly. "Ah, that was delicious. Thank you very much." "Oh, it was nothing. You must be very tired, please rest in the bedroom.", Seirra informs. "Well, I guess I am a little. A nap is only fitting for after eating.", Mesuinu comments and follows Seirra into the bedroom. "Here you go." "Ah, it looks so comfortable. Thank you.", Mesuinu thanks and jumps into the bed that creaks as she bounces slightly. "Ah, yes, I suppose it is. Well then, I'll wake you when my brother has arrived.", Seirra speaks. "Yes, you go do that. Please, don't let me interrupt your routine. I'll just lay right here and sleep. You go on, I'll be fine. I'm the mysterious priestess of secrets you know.", Mesu informs. "If you need anything, I'll be right outside." Seirra nods and steps out of the bedroom.  
  
Mesuinu reclines on the bed, her staff leaning against the bed and her arms under her head. "Free lunch...free bed. It's almost too good to be true. It would only be fitting that Seirra would turn out to be some hideous monster who begs travelers to help her heal her sick brother and offers in exchange food to eat and a place to rest and when they least expect it...when they are fast asleep...devour them! Well, that's what I would do!", Mesuinu notes silently to herself. Forcing out a yawn, Mesuinu closes her eyes and slowly drifts into slumber.  
  
Seirra smiles peeking in on the sleeping Mesuinu before heading back to washing dishes. "Not very energetic is she? Oh well, that's not what matters now is it? I better get this house cleaned before my brother comes home. Now sense in the dear coming home to a dirty house.", Seirra comments to herself.  
  
After ten minutes, Seirra creeps into the bedroom and looms over the young priestess. Mesuinu peeks one of her eyes open, yet still silted. "Is your brother home already?", Mesu asks slyly. "Oh, no, not yet, I was just checking to make sure you were sleeping soundly. You need to save your energy for when my brother gets home. I really can't thank you enough.", Seirra informs. "Oh." "I'm sorry for waking you up. I'll go back to my chores now.", Seirra comments and leaves. Mesuinu's eye focuses on Seirra as she picks up a broom and begins sweeping the house.  
  
"One sweep. Two sweep. Clean. One sweep. Two sweep. Clean. One sweep. Two sweep. Clean. Not nearly amusing enough.", Mesuinu comments watching Seirra sweep back and forth to little avail. She lets a silent sigh slip from her lips. "Are there really humans this dull and disinteresting? Now I KNOW my father never came to this town.", Mesuinu reflects silently and closes her eyes again. Slowly, but surely, she falls asleep.  
  
"Ah, it appears that she has fallen asleep again. I best not wake her.", Seirra notes glancing into the room. Seirra sighs and continues her boring and virtually pointless sweeping. Mesuinu yawns, startling Seirra. Seirra looks back from her chores, and certain that her guest is still sleeping peacefully and not in need of anything, she continues her very dull and unproductive sweeping. Mesuinu yawns again, but Seirra ignores it and continues her house tidying. "HMMMMMMM....HMMMMMMM...this is SOOOOOOO boring! I'm too energetic and LIVELY to be sleeping...but this girl wants me to help her brother. Sesh...the things I get suckered into. I'm the daughter of Xellos, I'm not suppose to be helping others, I'm suppose to be reigning chaos and destruction upon the masses, unleashing hordes of ravers...er zombies! Yes, zombies, there's no such thing as ravers...yah...yah, ravers don't exist...they don't exist I tell you! Yah...unleash my horde of zombies and mess with American gamers' head. Speaking of webcomics...I'd like to get out of this hut and go to a time where such extravagant luxuries and pleasures exist.", Mesuinu thinks to herself as she turns over to her side facing away from Seirra.  
  
Her eyes slowly open into two narrow slits. If the evening did not come soon, she definitely would not be there anymore. However, just as she begins to turn over, she notices two tall beings hovering over her bed. Mesuinu notes that the feminine one is the same as Seirra, and the vampire- like male, had to be her "brother." The brother lunges to pin Mesuinu down, but expecting such a turn of events, she sleekly slips out of his grasp. "Ah, just as I had suspected, you are monsters trying to devour me!", Mesu proclaims. "Yes, how clever of you to figure that out, but even now that you know this, you cannot escape from us. You are still weak and weary from the poison.", Seirra informs. "That was poison? Oh thank the Porcelain deity, I get to keep my kidneys for a little longer!", Mesuinu exclaims sarcastically, with eyes closed. The brother leaps after the adventuring priestess, but the daughter of Xellos hops away like a frog and into the window. She kicks it out and flips up onto the roof.  
  
"I suppose it wouldn't take them too long to come up after me, so I better....", Mesuinu comments, broken off by the sight of a group of vampires already on her roof. Mesuinu blinks innocently. "Oh, it appears that the entire town are vampires.", Mesuinu states the obvious. The group charges after her but the mischievous miko merely hovers up into the air causing several to run off over the roof. "Such a pity. You know not whom you're messing with. Very well, before I send you to oblivion, I shall reveal to you who I really am. I am Mesuinu, daughter of Xellos, the general/priest of Lord Beastmaster...PREPARE FOR YOUR END!!!!" Mesuinu raises her left hand into the air and snaps her finger once. A black ball of energy, filled with her bitterness and wrath hovers above her. She closes her eyes and takes a deep and relaxing breath as the vampires slowly start to climb their way atop one another to reach her, although a good number tremble at her genealogy. She folds her right arm across her chest just above her breasts before slowly raising it up, a ball of holy magic forming in her hand. The two balls fly towards the center of the vampire town as her eyes slit open and her mouth forms a smirk. "I don't think I want to be in this town anymore.", Mesu retorts as the two balls slowly begin to merge. She quickly teleports far away from the village and watches it as it evaporates from existence.  
  
Mesuinu sighs fondly. "Well that was fun. I blew up an entire village and I didn't have to commit a single good deed! Well, it's on to the next village! Perhaps I need to change my approach if I wish to find out who my mother is." Not so bad, was it? Not much to be edited. Do you agree? Of course you do. You don't even see a single error. Why not? Because. You're not really reading it. Congratulations. I've beat Tsumira's record. This is page 51. Now we're on page 52. Forty-eight more pages to go. That is, until I reach 100 pages. I guess. Might as well. It's time. Time for the edited version. It has to happen. It will happen. It happens. Now. It is True! Xellos has a daughter! Mesuinu's Quest!  
  
Chapter One. Who IS the God of Secrets?  
  
Mesuinu enters a small and quaint town. Noticing an obvious lack of boozing place, she shakes her head and sighs, realizing that it is highly unlikely that her father ever came to such a town for pleasurable enjoyments. Despite her very human appearance and mannerisms, she still manages to stand out in this quiet little village. Maybe she should have her eyes open...ah...but the sun...the sun hurts her eyes. Mesuinu rubs her eyes a bit and opens them. Unlike Xellos, her eyes are bright, big, and almost cheerful, though they still resonate with a slight mischief. Was there anything else making her stand out? Her curious expression is little welcoming. She sighs and smiles a cheerful grin that would have sent her father to the grave.  
  
Mesuinu puts her left hand behind the back of her head, desperately trying to figure out what makes her stand out in the crowd. She blinks a couple of times and poses her staff at an angle so she can rest her head upon it. "Ah...ah...hmmm.", Mesu sighs.  
  
A fair and beautiful young maiden with golden hair in very large curls and friendly blue eyes approaches the girl in a pink dress that only Goldilocks would wear. At least it wasn't Little BOB Peep. "Excuse me miss, you are a priestess, right?", the maiden inquires. "A priestess," Mesuinu comments realizing what separates her from the others, "are you looking for one?" "Yes I am. My brother is very ill, and the local cleric is out of town.", the young lady explains. "You're just in luck! I am the mysteriously wonderful priestess Mesuinu!", Mesu informs with a bow. "I am Seirra. Please, priestess, you must heal my sick brother!" "I'm not sure if I'm the kind of priestess that you're looking for. I'm a priestess of Kamino Himitsu! Keeper of all knowledge, especially that which is not meant for mortals to know.", Mesu explains. "Oh then you would know what is wrong with my brother and how to cure him! Please come with me!", Seirra exclaims grabbing Mesuinu's arm and running off with her to her humble abode.  
  
Mesuinu and Seirra arrive at Seirra and her brother's small cottage home in the village. There are only four rooms in the entire house, and although being small, it is still quite comfortable and welcoming. "Please, have a seat. I'm just about to cook lunch.", Seirra informs heading into the tiny kitchen. "Well that's kind of you, but where's your brother.", Mesu inquires taking a seat and stretching her legs across the table. "Oh, he won't be home until this evening.", Seirra replies. Mesuinu falls back and out of her seat. "This EVENING?!", Mesuinu exclaims. "Are you alright?", Seirra inquires with concern stepping out of the kitchen. "Oh yes, I was just wondering why your brother isn't currently home.", Mesuinu speaks sitting in her chair properly, which mysteriously shows no signs of haven fallen over. "Oh, he's at work in the woods. Ever since our parents died, my brother went to work as a woodsman to support us...and although he's very ill, he keeps working out in the woods. Please, just make yourself comfortable while you wait. I'll have lunch ready soon, so please enjoy that.", Seirra explains.  
  
Mesuinu sighs and decides to make the best of it, by enjoying a free meal. Seirra heads back into the kitchen and finishes lunch up. She heads back out with two fresh bowls of soup and begins setting the table for lunch. "Thanks!" "Oh, it's the least I can do for the priestess who's going to help my brother.", Seirra comments. Mesuinu sweatdrops, wondering if she should leave before she's expected to save the world or something. Seirra takes a pitcher and fills Mesuinu's glass with homemade wine. "Wine?", Mesuinu inquires. "Homemade. It's made from berries that I pick from my garden." Mesuinu takes a tiny sip. "Mmmm...not bad.", Mesuinu informs. "Thank you. Please, enjoy.", Seirra informs taking a seat and beginning to eat her soup. "For the Porcelain Deity!", Mesuinu exclaims and digs into her soap. Seirra raises a brow in confusion then shrugs and continues eating.  
  
Mesuinu polishes off her soup and wine within a few minutes and pats her filled belly. "Ah, that was delicious. Thank you very much." "Oh, it was nothing. You must be very tired, please rest in the bedroom.", Seirra informs. "Well, I guess I am a little. A nap is only fitting for after eating.", Mesuinu comments and follows Seirra into the bedroom. "Here you go." "Ah, it looks so comfortable. Thank you.", Mesuinu thanks and jumps into the bed that creaks as she bounces slightly. "Ah, yes, I suppose it is. Well then, I'll wake you when my brother has arrived.", Seirra speaks. "Yes, you go do that. Please, don't let me interrupt your routine. I'll just lay right here and sleep. You go on, I'll be fine. I'm the mysterious priestess of secrets you know.", Mesu informs. "If you need anything, I'll be right outside." Seirra nods and steps out of the bedroom.  
  
Mesuinu reclines on the bed, her staff leaning against the bed and her arms under her head. "Free lunch...free bed. It's almost too good to be true. It would only be fitting that Seirra would turn out to be some hideous monster who begs travelers to help her heal her sick brother and offers in exchange food to eat and a place to rest and when they least expect it...when they are fast asleep...devour them! Well, that's what I would do!", Mesuinu notes silently to herself. Forcing out a yawn, Mesuinu closes her eyes and slowly drifts into slumber.  
  
Seirra smiles peeking in on the sleeping Mesuinu before heading back to washing dishes. "Not very energetic is she? Oh well, that's not what matters now is it? I better get this house cleaned before my brother comes home. Now sense in the dear coming home to a dirty house.", Seirra comments to herself.  
  
After ten minutes, Seirra creeps into the bedroom and looms over the young priestess. Mesuinu peeks one of her eyes open, yet still silted. "Is your brother home already?", Mesu asks slyly. "Oh, no, not yet, I was just checking to make sure you were sleeping soundly. You need to save your energy for when my brother gets home. I really can't thank you enough.", Seirra informs. "Oh." "I'm sorry for waking you up. I'll go back to my chores now.", Seirra comments and leaves. Mesuinu's eye focuses on Seirra as she picks up a broom and begins sweeping the house.  
  
"One sweep. Two sweep. Clean. One sweep. Two sweep. Clean. One sweep. Two sweep. Clean. Not nearly amusing enough.", Mesuinu comments watching Seirra sweep back and forth to little avail. She lets a silent sigh slip from her lips. "Are there really humans this dull and disinteresting? Now I KNOW my father never came to this town.", Mesuinu reflects silently and closes her eyes again. Slowly, but surely, she falls asleep.  
  
"Ah, it appears that she has fallen asleep again. I best not wake her.", Seirra notes glancing into the room. Seirra sighs and continues her boring and virtually pointless sweeping. Mesuinu yawns, startling Seirra. Seirra looks back from her chores, and certain that her guest is still sleeping peacefully and not in need of anything, she continues her very dull and unproductive sweeping. Mesuinu yawns again, but Seirra ignores it and continues her house tidying. "HMMMMMMM....HMMMMMMM...this is SOOOOOOO boring! I'm too energetic and LIVELY to be sleeping...but this girl wants me to help her brother. Shesh...the things I get suckered into. I'm the daughter of Xellos, I'm not suppose to be helping others, I'm suppose to be reigning chaos and destruction upon the masses, unleashing hordes of ravers...er zombies! Yes, zombies, there's no such thing as ravers...yah...yah, ravers don't exist...they don't exist I tell you! Yah...unleash my horde of zombies and mess with American gamers' head. Speaking of webcomics...I'd like to get out of this hut and go to a time where such extravagant luxuries and pleasures exist.", Mesuinu thinks to herself as she turns over to her side facing away from Seirra.  
  
Her eyes slowly open into two narrow slits. If the evening did not come soon, she definitely would not be there anymore. However, just as she begins to turn over, she notices two tall beings hovering over her bed. Mesuinu notes that the feminine one is the same as Seirra, and the vampire- like male, had to be her "brother." The brother lunges to pin Mesuinu down, but expecting such a turn of events, she sleekly slips out of his grasp. "Ah, just as I had suspected, you are monsters trying to devour me!", Mesu proclaims. "Yes, how clever of you to figure that out, but even now that you know this, you cannot escape from us. You are still weak and weary from the poison.", Seirra informs. "That was poison? Oh thank the Porcelain deity, I get to keep my kidneys for a little longer!", Mesuinu exclaims sarcastically, with eyes closed. The brother leaps after the adventuring priestess, but the daughter of Xellos hops away like a frog and into the window. She kicks it out and flips up onto the roof.  
  
"I suppose it wouldn't take them too long to come up after me, so I better....", Mesuinu comments, broken off by the sight of a group of vampires already on her roof. Mesuinu blinks innocently. "Oh, it appears that the entire town are vampires.", Mesuinu states the obvious. The group charges after her but the mischievous miko merely hovers up into the air causing several to run off over the roof. "Such a pity. You know not whom you're messing with. Very well, before I send you to oblivion, I shall reveal to you who I really am. I am Mesuinu, daughter of Xellos, the general/priest of Lord Beastmaster...PREPARE FOR YOUR END!!!!" Mesuinu raises her left hand into the air and snaps her finger once. A black ball of energy, filled with her bitterness and wrath hovers above her. She closes her eyes and takes a deep and relaxing breath as the vampires slowly start to climb their way atop one another to reach her, although a good number tremble at her genealogy. She folds her right arm across her chest just above her breasts before slowly raising it up, a ball of holy magic forming in her hand. The two balls fly towards the center of the vampire town as her eyes slit open and her mouth forms a smirk. "I don't think I want to be in this town anymore.", Mesu retorts as the two balls slowly begin to merge. She quickly teleports far away from the village and watches it as it evaporates from existence.  
  
Mesuinu sighs fondly. "Well that was fun. I blew up an entire village and I didn't have to commit a single good deed! Well, it's on to the next village! Perhaps I need to change my approach if I wish to find out who my mother is." Enjoyed? Didn't think so. The best part was the MegaTokyo reference. I like Tohya Miho. Do you like Miho? There was a speculation thread that Tsumira created. The speculation was that Miho was Mesuinu. In order words, me. You know what that means? It means that if Miho=Me, then Miho=daughter of Xellos. It was interesting. One young lady used her authoress powers to listen in on a conversation between Xellos and Lord Beastmaster. Lord Beastmaster wanted to know if Miho was his daughter. Naturally he said, "Sore wa himitsu desu." She wouldn't accept that answer. Just when he was about to tell all. They lost the connection. I didn't eat it. I swear. I couldn't have. Now back to the review. I begin my quest. I enter a small town. For some reason I stand out. I have difficulty determining why. I try not to stand out. A girl approaches me. She asks for my help. I insist that she's got the wrong priestess. She's not convinced. She asks for me to help find a cure for her brother's illness. She takes me to her home. Her brother is working. Quite suspicious. She claims that despite his ill health, he is still working to take care of them. She rubs in the fact that their parents are dead. Undead is more like it. She feeds me. It tasted better than dad's cooking. Which doesn't say a whole lot. Lots of food taste better than his cooking. I drink wine. Homemade wine. I go to sleep. She spies on me. I shoo her away. She cleans. She sweeps. She's boring. I wonder why I'm really there. Why I don't leave. I think about what I would do if I was her. I'd eat my guest and that sort of mean stuff. Her brother comes home. I wake up. They're vampires. I flee out the window. I flip to the roof. The whole village. Everyone. They're vampires. I've had enough. They didn't know who they were messing with. I channeled my energies. I formed a ball of holy magic. I formed a ball of black magic. I teleported far away before the two collided. I watched the explosion. There is no more village of vampires anymore. It was a good show. Page 59. Two more chapters left. Chapter Two. Mesuinu has an older brother? In Japanese. Mesuinu wa ani ga iimasu ka? And the answer is no. I don't have a brother. If I did have a brother. I'd have to kill him. There can be only one. Yes. It is. Highlander reference. Only one spawn of ultimate evil should be allowed to exist at any one time. That would be me. No one else. They're not allowed to. So pffffft! Now for the AutoSummary!  
  
Mesuinu's Quest  
  
Chapter Two: Mesuinu has an older brother?!  
  
Mesuinu arrives in a rather large city. "Well.here's my chance.", Mesu sweatdrops.  
The adventuring young priestess approaches the blonde woman without caution. Mesuinu quickly calms herself and teleports safely right side up on the ground. Mesuinu steps to the side as less than pleasant company heads inside the building. Mesuinu sighs and takes another step away from the brothel. A streak of light crosses Mesuinu's eyes as she gets a feeling of being watched. Her eyes dart to the side starting left then darting right. Mesuinu sweatdrops with her eyes tightly closed. "Lunch sounds nice. I hope you're buying.", Mesuinu informs. "You're SO going to regret that!", Mesuinu notes.  
In less than half an hour, Mesuinu and her new companion are eating at Eatall's Chow. Mesuinu immediately begins stuffing her face and guzzling down her wine. Mesuinu returns to her seat with two more plates of food. An adorable kitty plushie appears on her shoulder holding up a sign that reads "Mesuinu." The plushie promptly disappears. "Uh.Mesuinu. That's your name?", Val inquires.  
Mesuinu's eyes widen as she drops her plates and her food begins to leak out of her wide-open mouth. "SISTER?! Mesuinu's elbows rest on the table and she looks at Val sternly. You are my little sister. You were kidnapped as a baby, but I never gave up hope of finding you.", Val insists. I was never kidnapped.", Mesuinu testifies.  
Mesuinu shakes her head. Her father may lie, but she knows that he would never have kidnapped his own child. Besides, why would Xellos actually WANT to raise a child, especially such a troublesome and mischievous child as Mesuinu? "I hate to tell you this, but my father never kidnapped me. The thought wouldn't have entered his head. "I didn't accuse your father of kidnapping you. There's no way I could be this guys little sister. Looking Val in the eye, Mesuinu opens her mouth to explain what she had already explained to herself in thought. "Yes.", Mesuinu replies. Val immediately takes Mesuinu by the wrist and drags her outside. "She should be at the Antique Store.", Val notes escorting the priestess in that direction. Mesuinu gulps. "Mom! I'm sorry.  
Mesuinu takes a deep breath.  
  
As you can see, Chapter Two was written in Word. The differences are obvious. Even when uploaded to fanfiction.net The formats are different. .txt files are formatted differently from .doc files You can see the difference on fanfiction.net But I don't care. Now for Chapter Two. No unedited version? No edited version either? Why not? There are none. There is only the final version. I can no longer fill up space by posting the exact same story twice. Or can I? Who can stop me? You can't. That's just plain pathetic. You're full of yourself. You already know that. Yes, I know you already know. I also know that you know that I already know that you know. Did you know that I knew that you would know that I know that you would know that I would know that you would know that I would know you knew I knew that you knew I knew that I know that you would know that you would know that I would know that you know that I already know that you know that you know I knew? Didn't think you did. Here is Chapter Two of the second series!  
  
Mesuinu's Quest  
  
Chapter Two: Mesuinu has an older brother?!  
  
Mesuinu arrives in a rather large city. Unlike the last city, filled with vampires, she doesn't seem to stand out at all. Why should she? She's just an ordinary mysterious priestess. "Okay. This time I should take the direct approach. The next lady I see I'll ask her if she knows my father! That should speed things up a bit.", Mesuinu comments to herself. Looking around, she glances at a beautiful blonde outside an antique shop. "Well.here's my chance.", Mesu sweatdrops.  
The adventuring young priestess approaches the blonde woman without caution. The woman looks up at her, her eyes widening slightly. "Oh excuse me miss, I'm sorry to startle you. I am a traveling priestess and I was hoping the you could provide some information about a fellow priest called Xellos.", Mesuinu requests going straight to the point. "X..e..l..l..o..s..!!!!!", the blonde grimaces. Her hands immediately fly up and under her dress and before Mesuinu could even teleport away, the mace is brought up against her causing her to go soaring into the air.  
"Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!!", Xellos's daughter cries out as she finds herself flying backwards into the air. Mesuinu quickly calms herself and teleports safely right side up on the ground. "Oooookay. Direct approach.bad. Hmmm.that woman looks kind of familiar.could she? Nah, of course not! Guess I better stick to plan A."  
A few moments later Mesuinu is standing in front of a Brothel Tavern. Mesuinu steps to the side as less than pleasant company heads inside the building. "I'm.actually having second thoughts. I really need to figure out how to change my sex. There's no WAY I can go in there as a girl!" Mesuinu sighs and takes another step away from the brothel. A streak of light crosses Mesuinu's eyes as she gets a feeling of being watched. Her eyes dart to the side starting left then darting right. Slowly she turns her head before turning the rest of her body around to face tall, and maybe even handsome, figure that stood before her.  
The man in question has sea blue hair with tall spikes on top and long and sharp around the sides loosely framing his face and yellowish eyes. He is a bit thin, but very muscular. His face appears solemn and serious, as if he has no reason to be happy and no need for pleasure. His almost invisible mouth widens into a smile and his eyes light up with joy as he suddenly wraps his arms around the young priestess in a tight bear hug. "I FINALLY FOUND YOU!", he proclaims embracing her. "Found.me? I.I think you found the wrong person."  
"Of course not. I've been looking for you for a long time now. I'm so happy that I finally found you!", the young man informs letting go of his tight and deadly embrace. Mesuinu takes a couple of steps back and away from the stranger. "Look, I'm REALLY sorry, but I'm obviously not who you're looking for. I'm actually looking for someone myself. Besides, I don't even know you." "^^ I can tell you everything you need to know. Why don't we head to Eatall's Chow and discuss it over lunch?", the gentleman suggests.  
Of course, being half-Mazoku, Mesuinu knows not to trust strangers.or anyone for that matter. However, her stomach didn't care. Mesuinu sweatdrops with her eyes tightly closed. "Lunch sounds nice. I hope you're buying.", Mesuinu informs. "Of course I am." "You're SO going to regret that!", Mesuinu notes.  
In less than half an hour, Mesuinu and her new companion are eating at Eatall's Chow. They both are eating the buffet and the gentleman is seeing just how piggish the priestess's manners are. "I NEED A REFILL.please!", Mesuinu orders quickly devouring food and dashing up to the buffet to get some more. A waiter comes by, opens yet another bottle of red wine, and just sets it on the table where she is sitting. Mesuinu immediately begins stuffing her face and guzzling down her wine. "Uh.it's kind of hard to talk while you're eating." "I'm not handicapped. I can listen and eat at the same time.", the priestess informs between meals.  
"I am Val, and I've been searching for you for a long time. Ever since I was very little." Mesuinu returns to her seat with two more plates of food. An adorable kitty plushie appears on her shoulder holding up a sign that reads "Mesuinu." (( Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon! I SOOOOOOOOO want to watch it!) The plushie promptly disappears. "Uh.Mesuinu. That's your name?", Val inquires. The plushie reappears holding up a sign with a red circle around it then disappears again. "I'm glad I finally found you! I was beginning to lose hope of ever finding my little sister!"  
Mesuinu's eyes widen as she drops her plates and her food begins to leak out of her wide-open mouth. She shakes her head and zooms back into her seat. "SISTER?! Now I KNOW you've got the wrong person!", the miko protests. Mesuinu's elbows rest on the table and she looks at Val sternly. He doesn't seem to be phased at all by her proclamation. "There's no WAY I can be his sister! Even so, if my father did have any other kids, there's no way I can let them live.", Mesuinu thinks deviously. "It's true. You are my little sister. You were kidnapped as a baby, but I never gave up hope of finding you.", Val insists. "I'm sorry, but you're looking for someone else. I was never kidnapped.", Mesuinu testifies. "Yes, you were. I awoke one morning to find you missing. Mom said that you were kidnapped, but she couldn't find a ransom note or anything.", the young man explains.  
Mesuinu shakes her head. Her father may lie, but she knows that he would never have kidnapped his own child. With all of the trouble she had caused him, there was no way he had kidnapped her. Besides, why would Xellos actually WANT to raise a child, especially such a troublesome and mischievous child as Mesuinu? "I hate to tell you this, but my father never kidnapped me. The thought wouldn't have entered his head. I burdened him. He wouldn't bother to kidnap a baby. He was actually enjoying his life as it was before I was born, so why would he ruin his life by kidnapping and raising a child?", the mysterious priestess questions. "I didn't accuse your father of kidnapping you. Someone else probably kidnapped you and then left you with him.", Val suggests.  
"That does make sense. However, Xellos is CLEARLY my biological father. What would the chances be of me being kidnapped and then handed over to my biological father? Not very likely unless Lord Beastmaster wanted me to join the Mazoku race and had me kidnapped and given to my father, who was currently unaware of my existence. No. That doesn't make much sense either. I vaguely remember my babyhood. I think I was left on his doorstep. Someone must have intentionally put me there and daddy wasn't expecting someone to deliver a baby. It's clear that what my father told me was true, that my mother abandoned me. There's no way I could be this guys little sister. Still.the thought of having an older brother.is becoming.strangely.well, I suppose the thought makes me feel important and happy. However, I'm not this man's sister and I never will be.unless my dad has started shacking up with his mom sent I left.", Mesuinu monologues inside her head.  
Looking Val in the eye, Mesuinu opens her mouth to explain what she had already explained to herself in thought. "Are you looking for your mom?", Val asks. "Yes.", Mesuinu replies. "She's right in town. I can take you to her.", he smiles politely and pays the bill. Val immediately takes Mesuinu by the wrist and drags her outside. "She should be at the Antique Store.", Val notes escorting the priestess in that direction. Mesuinu gulps. Fear seems to momentarily take hold of her. Shaking her head, she closes her eyes.  
"Mom! Guess what! I finally -!!", Val begins, but as he turns to look behind him, he sees no one there. He spins around looking for his little sister to no avail. "What did you say Val?" "I.I found my sister.but she's gone now. I'm sorry. I won't give up!"  
Mesuinu takes a deep breath. "I barely got out of that one. That was close. I have a quest to complete, and I don't need to meet other people's mothers. I have my own to find. If he wasn't so delusional, he might have been able to help me. Oh well, I'll have to find her on my own.", Mesuinu comments to herself looking behind her as she walks off in the street. Suddenly she stops and finds that she has run into a tall and handsome young human male with short red hair and blue eyes. At his side is a well-crafted sword.  
  
Should I review it? I don't see why not? It's still only page 66. I have to get as many pages as possible. It's a shame you people started asking for longer chapters so soon. Else I could have had more chapters to review. You guys suck. I hate you. Really, I hate you. Why do you think I'm writing this? It's not because I love you. I only love my daddy. And that's only to get on his nerves. I don't love you. If I did I wouldn't be writing. I would have refused Tsumira's offer to write a long and tediously boring chapter so no one would ever again ask for longer chapters. Tsumira likes long chapters. Not that much though. She doesn't like long and pointless and mundane chapters like this. She doesn't care about quantity. She likes quality more. Her excuse. She's a college student. It's impossible for her to write long chapters. She has school. She has homework. She has projects. She has assignments. She also has other fanfics. Her Inuyasha fanfics are suffering because of this fanfic I'm writing. They are very neglected. By expending her energy to keep me manifested, Tsumira doesn't have the energy to work on both her school work and other fanfics. That and the fact that she only has one laptop. We can't share a laptop. We've tried. I bite. She bleeds. She cries. She whines. My ears hurt. My ears bleed. She wails some more. My ears hurt more. My ears bleed more. She gets louder. You get the picture. Did I review chapter two yet? Nope. Didn't think so. How about this? I don't feel like scrolling up. I'll paste the story again. Then I won't have to scroll up. Here's the story again.  
  
Mesuinu's Quest  
  
Chapter Two: Mesuinu has an older brother?!  
  
Mesuinu arrives in a rather large city. Unlike the last city, filled with vampires, she doesn't seem to stand out at all. Why should she? She's just an ordinary mysterious priestess. "Okay. This time I should take the direct approach. The next lady I see I'll ask her if she knows my father! That should speed things up a bit.", Mesuinu comments to herself. Looking around, she glances at a beautiful blonde outside an antique shop. "Well.here's my chance.", Mesu sweatdrops.  
The adventuring young priestess approaches the blonde woman without caution. The woman looks up at her, her eyes widening slightly. "Oh excuse me miss, I'm sorry to startle you. I am a traveling priestess and I was hoping the you could provide some information about a fellow priest called Xellos.", Mesuinu requests going straight to the point. "X..e..l..l..o..s..!!!!!", the blonde grimaces. Her hands immediately fly up and under her dress and before Mesuinu could even teleport away, the mace is brought up against her causing her to go soaring into the air.  
"Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!!", Xellos's daughter cries out as she finds herself flying backwards into the air. Mesuinu quickly calms herself and teleports safely right side up on the ground. "Oooookay. Direct approach.bad. Hmmm.that woman looks kind of familiar.could she? Nah, of course not! Guess I better stick to plan A."  
A few moments later Mesuinu is standing in front of a Brothel Tavern. Mesuinu steps to the side as less than pleasant company heads inside the building. "I'm.actually having second thoughts. I really need to figure out how to change my sex. There's no WAY I can go in there as a girl!" Mesuinu sighs and takes another step away from the brothel. A streak of light crosses Mesuinu's eyes as she gets a feeling of being watched. Her eyes dart to the side starting left then darting right. Slowly she turns her head before turning the rest of her body around to face tall, and maybe even handsome, figure that stood before her.  
The man in question has sea blue hair with tall spikes on top and long and sharp around the sides loosely framing his face and yellowish eyes. He is a bit thin, but very muscular. His face appears solemn and serious, as if he has no reason to be happy and no need for pleasure. His almost invisible mouth widens into a smile and his eyes light up with joy as he suddenly wraps his arms around the young priestess in a tight bear hug. "I FINALLY FOUND YOU!", he proclaims embracing her. "Found.me? I.I think you found the wrong person."  
"Of course not. I've been looking for you for a long time now. I'm so happy that I finally found you!", the young man informs letting go of his tight and deadly embrace. Mesuinu takes a couple of steps back and away from the stranger. "Look, I'm REALLY sorry, but I'm obviously not who you're looking for. I'm actually looking for someone myself. Besides, I don't even know you." "^^ I can tell you everything you need to know. Why don't we head to Eatall's Chow and discuss it over lunch?", the gentleman suggests.  
Of course, being half-Mazoku, Mesuinu knows not to trust strangers.or anyone for that matter. However, her stomach didn't care. Mesuinu sweatdrops with her eyes tightly closed. "Lunch sounds nice. I hope you're buying.", Mesuinu informs. "Of course I am." "You're SO going to regret that!", Mesuinu notes.  
In less than half an hour, Mesuinu and her new companion are eating at Eatall's Chow. They both are eating the buffet and the gentleman is seeing just how piggish the priestess's manners are. "I NEED A REFILL.please!", Mesuinu orders quickly devouring food and dashing up to the buffet to get some more. A waiter comes by, opens yet another bottle of red wine, and just sets it on the table where she is sitting. Mesuinu immediately begins stuffing her face and guzzling down her wine. "Uh.it's kind of hard to talk while you're eating." "I'm not handicapped. I can listen and eat at the same time.", the priestess informs between meals.  
"I am Val, and I've been searching for you for a long time. Ever since I was very little." Mesuinu returns to her seat with two more plates of food. An adorable kitty plushie appears on her shoulder holding up a sign that reads "Mesuinu." (( Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon! I SOOOOOOOOO want to watch it!) The plushie promptly disappears. "Uh.Mesuinu. That's your name?", Val inquires. The plushie reappears holding up a sign with a red circle around it then disappears again. "I'm glad I finally found you! I was beginning to lose hope of ever finding my little sister!"  
Mesuinu's eyes widen as she drops her plates and her food begins to leak out of her wide-open mouth. She shakes her head and zooms back into her seat. "SISTER?! Now I KNOW you've got the wrong person!", the miko protests. Mesuinu's elbows rest on the table and she looks at Val sternly. He doesn't seem to be phased at all by her proclamation. "There's no WAY I can be his sister! Even so, if my father did have any other kids, there's no way I can let them live.", Mesuinu thinks deviously. "It's true. You are my little sister. You were kidnapped as a baby, but I never gave up hope of finding you.", Val insists. "I'm sorry, but you're looking for someone else. I was never kidnapped.", Mesuinu testifies. "Yes, you were. I awoke one morning to find you missing. Mom said that you were kidnapped, but she couldn't find a ransom note or anything.", the young man explains.  
Mesuinu shakes her head. Her father may lie, but she knows that he would never have kidnapped his own child. With all of the trouble she had caused him, there was no way he had kidnapped her. Besides, why would Xellos actually WANT to raise a child, especially such a troublesome and mischievous child as Mesuinu? "I hate to tell you this, but my father never kidnapped me. The thought wouldn't have entered his head. I burdened him. He wouldn't bother to kidnap a baby. He was actually enjoying his life as it was before I was born, so why would he ruin his life by kidnapping and raising a child?", the mysterious priestess questions. "I didn't accuse your father of kidnapping you. Someone else probably kidnapped you and then left you with him.", Val suggests.  
"That does make sense. However, Xellos is CLEARLY my biological father. What would the chances be of me being kidnapped and then handed over to my biological father? Not very likely unless Lord Beastmaster wanted me to join the Mazoku race and had me kidnapped and given to my father, who was currently unaware of my existence. No. That doesn't make much sense either. I vaguely remember my babyhood. I think I was left on his doorstep. Someone must have intentionally put me there and daddy wasn't expecting someone to deliver a baby. It's clear that what my father told me was true, that my mother abandoned me. There's no way I could be this guys little sister. Still.the thought of having an older brother.is becoming.strangely.well, I suppose the thought makes me feel important and happy. However, I'm not this man's sister and I never will be.unless my dad has started shacking up with his mom sent I left.", Mesuinu monologues inside her head.  
Looking Val in the eye, Mesuinu opens her mouth to explain what she had already explained to herself in thought. "Are you looking for your mom?", Val asks. "Yes.", Mesuinu replies. "She's right in town. I can take you to her.", he smiles politely and pays the bill. Val immediately takes Mesuinu by the wrist and drags her outside. "She should be at the Antique Store.", Val notes escorting the priestess in that direction. Mesuinu gulps. Fear seems to momentarily take hold of her. Shaking her head, she closes her eyes.  
"Mom! Guess what! I finally -!!", Val begins, but as he turns to look behind him, he sees no one there. He spins around looking for his little sister to no avail. "What did you say Val?" "I.I found my sister.but she's gone now. I'm sorry. I won't give up!"  
Mesuinu takes a deep breath. "I barely got out of that one. That was close. I have a quest to complete, and I don't need to meet other people's mothers. I have my own to find. If he wasn't so delusional, he might have been able to help me. Oh well, I'll have to find her on my own.", Mesuinu comments to herself looking behind her as she walks off in the street. Suddenly she stops and finds that she has run into a tall and handsome young human male with short red hair and blue eyes. At his side is a well-crafted sword.  
  
I arrive in a larger town. It could be Atlas City for all you know. It could be Atlas City for all Tsumira knows. I decide to take a direct approach. I figure that I should ask around and see if anyone knows my father. That would be easy. It's also the most logical thing to do. Unfortunately, it's also the most dangerous thing to do. I asked a young woman. She happened to have long blonde hair. She lifts up her dress. She brings out a mace. She smacks me into the air with her mace. I land in the woods. I decide not to take the direct approach again. At least not with strange women. Especially those with maces under their dresses. Who was she? Filia? How am I suppose to know? Tsumira might know. She won't tell you. I didn't see a tail. I don't think I want to. I'd rather not go back and find out. She'd hit me again. I don't want to be hit. Why don't you go and find out? If you're still alive, you can tell me. Tell me what? Have you forgotten already? Go look up her dress and see if she has a tail. Then tell me if she has a tail or not. Simple. Going on. I run into a handsome young man. He is excited to have "found" me. He claims that he has been searching for me for a long time. I think he's crazy. I still do. He buys me lunch. Buffet. I pig out. I have the right to. He's buying. It's a buffet. People pig out at buffets. Especially when someone else is paying the bill. He then claims that I'm his sister. Long and lost. There's no way that can be. He then insists that his sister had been kidnapped. Impossible. I was abandoned. The note was addressed to my dad. No, I don't have the note. I've read the chapter, so I should know if I was abandoned or not! Yes, it could be possible that it's a red herring. So could the blonde with the mace under her dress. The guy called Val could also be a red herring. It could also be foreshadowing. However, I'm not that lucky. Still, I knew for sure that my dad would never have wanted to kidnap me. Besides, he would have just brought me back to where he stole me from. I wasn't the best of babies you know. ^.~ Only page 75. Twenty-five more pages left. That's a lot of work. I wonder if this will fit onto a disk. I might have to break this chapter up. Put it in sub-chapters. That sucks. 187 KB The limit on fanfiction.net is 300KB Where was I again? Yes. I remember. I didn't believe him. I told him I didn't. I explained that I couldn't have been kidnapped. I did think about the possibility of having a sibling. However, you already know what would have to happen to such a sibling. Then he decides to show me "our" mom. There was no way I was going to do that. I broke away. I escaped. I fled. The chapter ends with me bumping into a tall red haired guy. Who is he? You'll never find out. Why? Because the chapter that the answer would be revealed in would be too short for you. You want long chapters. You don't really want to find out who he is. You want longer chapters. You're going to get longer chapters. You'll never read a new story again! You'll forever read my long and boring reviews. Next chapter I'll review the first fanfic Tsumira posted on fanfiction.net It might be the only way some of you will ever read it. Tsumira will never write another fanfic. You don't want her to. You want me to write fanfics. You want me to write long fanfics. Long fanfics with no point, no story, and no plot. No purpose. Just like you. Am I being sarcastic? Why should you care? You want longlonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglong longlonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglong longlonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglong longlonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglong longlonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglong longlonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglong longlonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglong longlonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglong longlonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglong longlonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglong longlonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglong fanfics! Was that long enough for you? Now then, time to AutoSummarize this chapter! Mesuinu's Quest  
  
Chapter Three: Mesuinu's Yarn  
  
In the first chapter of Slayers Outrageous: Xellos has a daughter?!, the chapter is called Unexpected Fatherhood. Xellos has a daughter? Xellos smirks at the devious thought then heads upstairs to his room walking perfectly as though he had not drank a drop of alcohol.  
In the morning, Xellos makes a futile attempt to crawl to his feet. "Deso wanto duu tatal.", Xellos slurs. Suddenly, Xellos disappears and immediately reappears laying on his bed. "A basket of goodies from Little Red Riding Hood to Xellos?", Xellos ponders taking the basket inside and setting it on his bed. Dear Xellos, this is your child. Happy father-hood...not!  
Xellos slowly lifts up the blankets and peeks inside. Xellos shakes his head in disbelief. "This baby doesn't even look a thing like me!", Xellos denies looking away from the baby. "Well...it looks innocent enough....", Xellos comments shrugging as he reaches his hand down towards the infant. Immediately she bites his hand causing Xellos to recoil. Xellos attempts to shake her off, but to no avail. "Help! It suits you well." Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter One. Xellos smirks at the devious thought then heads upstairs to his room walking perfectly as though he had not drank a drop of alcohol. In the morning, Xellos makes a futile attempt to crawl to his feet. "Deso wanto duu tatal.", Xellos slurs. Suddenly, Xellos disappears and immediately reappears laying on his bed. "A basket of goodies from Little Red Riding Hood to Xellos?", Xellos ponders taking the basket inside and setting it on his bed. Dear Xellos,  
  
Ha, as if you could! Happy father-hood...not! The unfortunate mother of your child.  
  
Xellos slowly lifts up the blankets and peeks inside. Xellos shakes his head in disbelief. "This baby doesn't even look a thing like me!", Xellos denies looking away from the baby. "Well...it looks innocent enough....", Xellos comments shrugging as he reaches his hand down towards the infant. Immediately she bites his hand causing Xellos to recoil. Xellos attempts to shake her off, but to no avail. "Help! HELP! Ah, I know, Mesuinu. It suits you well." Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter One. Xellos smirks at the devious thought then heads upstairs to his room walking perfectly as though he had not drank a drop of alcohol. "Deso wanto duu tatal.", Xellos slurs. Suddenly, Xellos disappears and immediately reappears in the bathroom. Xellos kneels before the toilet and begins vomiting profusely. After thoroughly cleansing himself, Xellos teleports and reappears laying on his bed. "A basket of goodies from Little Red Riding Hood to Xellos?", Xellos ponders taking the basket inside and setting it on his bed. Dear Xellos,  
  
Ha, as if you could! Happy father-hood...not! The unfortunate mother of your child.  
  
Xellos slowly lifts up the blankets and peeks inside. Xellos shakes his head in disbelief. "This baby doesn't even look a thing like me!", Xellos denies looking away from the baby. "Well...it looks innocent enough....", Xellos comments shrugging as he reaches his hand down towards the infant. Immediately she bites his hand causing Xellos to recoil. Xellos attempts to shake her off, but to no avail. "Help! HELP! Ah, I know, Mesuinu. It suits you well." Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter One. "Deso wanto duu tatal.", Xellos slurs. Suddenly, Xellos disappears and immediately reappears in the bathroom. Xellos kneels before the toilet and begins vomiting profusely. After thoroughly cleansing himself, Xellos teleports and reappears laying on his bed. "A basket of goodies from Little Red Riding Hood to Xellos?", Xellos ponders taking the basket inside and setting it on his bed.  
Dear Xellos,  
  
Ha, as if you could! Happy father-hood...not! The unfortunate mother of your child.  
  
Xellos slowly lifts up the blankets and peeks inside.  
Xellos shakes his head in disbelief. "This baby doesn't even look a thing like me!", Xellos denies looking away from the baby. "Well...it looks innocent enough....", Xellos comments shrugging as he reaches his hand down towards the infant. Immediately she bites his hand causing Xellos to recoil. Xellos attempts to shake her off, but to no avail. "Help! HELP! Ah, I know, Mesuinu. It suits you well." In Unexpected Fatherhood, Xellos is forced by Lord Beastmaster to take a vacation. One of which must have spawned me, Mesuinu. Any ordinary human would have died drinking it, but as we all know, Xellos isn't human at all. Xellos is a Mazoku. In the morning, Xellos has a hangover. Feeling well again, Xellos opens his door to find a basket. Xellos finds a basket at his door and takes it inside. Xellos is clearly taken aback by this revelation. Yes, Xellos discovers that I, Mesuinu, was in the basket. Xellos finally gives up and decides to raise me. Now then, we should move on into the second chapter of Xellos is a Father. Chapter Two is called Terrible Twos. Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter Two.  
Having been relieved of his duties for a well deserved, and perhaps even a century long, vacation, Xellos is starting to believe that Lord Beastmaster knew of Mesuinu's existance before he himself did. "I've always been so loyal to you!", Xellos whines as Mesuinu sits on his head pulling out all of his hair that isn't gray. "Well, at least she is an evil lil half-Mazoku.", Xellos fondly reflects. "Nyonyo.", Mesu whimpers sadly and disappears from her father's head. Poor cat didn't stand a chance against me!", Xellos reminisces fondly. Mesuinu mutters a few words in baby talk and the cat is suddenly looking very healthy and happy. "By XELAS!", Xellos exclaims in a panic quickly snatching up the little two year old.  
Mesuinu looks sadly towards the cat who had already wandered off. Mesu gurgles and grabs her daddy's arm. A dim white light surrounds her hand causing Xellos to recoil and drop her. Of course, Mesuinu teleports safely to the ground.  
"General-Priest Xellos!", a small and dark faerie-like creature exclaims darting towards Xellos. What is it?", Xellos demands of the imp. "Good, I was getting bored.", Xellos admits. Very well." Xellos reaches down to grab Mesuinu who immediately bites his hand.  
"Ah, so this is your little baby?", Xelas Metallium inquires. Is that so, Xellos?" "*CRUSH* "GIIIIIIIII!!!" *CRUSH* Xellos turns around to see what Mesuinu is doing and finds her crushing and resurrecting the poor little imp. Xellos eyes shift angerly towards Mesuinu who continues her wanton crushing and reviving of Incarius. You actually want Mesuinu?" "Is that an order?", Xellos inquires. Xellos stands atop a cliff in the desert. Mesuinu sits gazing at her surroundings on the edge of the cliff. Mesuinu suddenly appears sitting on Xellos's staff. Xellos frowns frustrated. "Alright, Mesuinu, walk for daddy!", Xellos requests wearing a fake smirk on his face.  
"MESUINU!!!", Xellos exclaims with panic and immediately teleports to the edge. "Mesu...inu!" "Fine! I'm out of here!", Xellos remarks and teleports away. Mesuinu slowly walks towards where Xellos had teleported from. "That' my little demon spawn!", Xellos proclaims proudly. Mesuinu pokes him in the eye. Xellos walks down a quaint little village road holding Mesuinu's hand tightly. Mesuinu sticks her tongue out. "Then how about say something that daddy really hates.", Xellos suggests. Mesuinu looks up at her daddy with a devious smile. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!", Mesuinu screams at the top of her lungs. Xellos smirks. After about ten minutes of screaming, Mesuinu finally quiets down. "Now then, there MUST be something you'd want to say.", Xellos notes. "Suki!", Mesuinu blurts causing her Mazoku daddy to fall flat on his face.  
After several hours of tracking and chasing Mesuinu, Xellos manages to scoop her up. Joy of joys!", Xellos cringes as he sets Mesuinu down. "PikaPOO!", Mesuinu giggles spitefully. Pika...POO!", Mesuinu grunts, filling the room with a hideous stench. "ACK the Porcelain God! Porcelain God demands TRIBUTE!  
Xellos hits his head on the toilet in frustration. All the fun we'll have then!", Mesuinu comments energetically with a loud smirk. Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter Two.  
Having been relieved of his duties for a well deserved, and perhaps even a century long, vacation, Xellos is starting to believe that Lord Beastmaster knew of Mesuinu's existence before he himself did. "I've always been so loyal to you!", Xellos whines as Mesuinu sits on his head pulling out all of his hair that isn't gray. "Well, at least she is an evil lil half-Mazoku.", Xellos fondly reflects. "Nyonyo.", Mesu whimpers sadly and disappears from her father's head. Poor cat didn't stand a chance against me!", Xellos reminisces fondly. "By XELAS!", Xellos exclaims in a panic quickly snatching up the little two year old. Mesu gurgles and grabs her daddy's arm. A dim white light surrounds her hand causing Xellos to recoil and drop her. Of course, Mesuinu teleports safely to the ground.  
"General-Priest Xellos!", a small and dark faerie-like creature exclaims darting towards Xellos. What is it?", Xellos demands of the imp. "Good, I was getting bored.", Xellos admits. Very well." Xellos reaches down to grab Mesuinu who immediately bites his hand. Is that so, Xellos?" "*CRUSH* Xellos turns around to see what Mesuinu is doing and finds her crushing and resurrecting the poor little imp. Xellos eyes shift angrily towards Mesuinu who continues her wanton crushing and reviving of Incarius. You actually want Mesuinu?" "Is that an order?", Xellos inquires. Xellos stands atop a cliff in the desert. Mesuinu suddenly appears sitting on Xellos's staff. Xellos frowns frustrated. "Alright, Mesuinu, walk for daddy!", Xellos requests wearing a fake smirk on his face.  
"MESUINU!!!", Xellos exclaims with panic and immediately teleports to the edge. "Mesu...inu!" "Fine! I'm out of here!", Xellos remarks and teleports away. Mesuinu slowly walks towards where Xellos had teleported from. "That' my little demon spawn!", Xellos proclaims proudly. Mesuinu pokes him in the eye. Xellos walks down a quaint little village road holding Mesuinu's hand tightly. Mesuinu sticks her tongue out. "Then how about say something that daddy really hates.", Xellos suggests. Mesuinu looks up at her daddy with a devious smile. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!", Mesuinu screams at the top of her lungs. Xellos smirks. After about ten minutes of screaming, Mesuinu finally quiets down. "Suki!", Mesuinu blurts causing her Mazoku daddy to fall flat on his face.  
After several hours of tracking and chasing Mesuinu, Xellos manages to scoop her up. Joy of joys!", Xellos cringes as he sets Mesuinu down. "PikaPOO!", Mesuinu giggles spitefully. Pika...POO!", Mesuinu grunts, filling the room with a hideous stench. "ACK the Porcelain God! Porcelain God demands TRIBUTE!  
Xellos hits his head on the toilet in frustration. All the fun we'll have then!", Mesuinu comments energetically with a loud smirk. AutoSummary! Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Poor cat didn't stand a chance against me!", Xellos reminisces fondly. Mesu gurgles and grabs her daddy's arm. Of course, Mesuinu teleports safely to the ground. "General-Priest Xellos!", a small and dark faerie-like creature exclaims darting towards Xellos. What is it?", Xellos demands of the imp. "Good, I was getting bored.", Xellos admits. Xellos reaches down to grab Mesuinu who immediately bites his hand. Is that so, Xellos?" ""Lo...." *CRUSH* "GIIIIIIIII!!!" *CRUSH* Xellos turns around to see what Mesuinu is doing and finds her crushing and resurrecting the poor little imp. Xellos eyes shift angerly towards Mesuinu who continues her wanton crushing and reviving of Incarius. You actually want Mesuinu?" "Is that an order?", Xellos inquires. Xellos stands atop a cliff in the desert. Mesuinu suddenly appears sitting on Xellos's staff. Xellos frowns frustrated. "Alright, Mesuinu, walk for daddy!", Xellos requests wearing a fake smirk on his face. "MESUINU!!!", Xellos exclaims with panic and immediately teleports to the edge. "Mesu...inu!" I'm out of here!", Xellos remarks and teleports away. Mesuinu slowly walks towards where Xellos had teleported from. "That' my little demon spawn!", Xellos proclaims proudly. Mesuinu pokes him in the eye. Xellos walks down a quaint little village road holding Mesuinu's hand tightly. Mesuinu sticks her tongue out. "Then how about say something that daddy really hates.", Xellos suggests. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!", Mesuinu screams at the top of her lungs. Xellos smirks. "Suki!", Mesuinu blurts causing her Mazoku daddy to fall flat on his face. After several hours of tracking and chasing Mesuinu, Xellos manages to scoop her up. Joy of joys!", Xellos cringes as he sets Mesuinu down. "PikaPOO!", Mesuinu giggles spitefully. "ACK the Porcelain God! Porcelain God demands TRIBUTE! Xellos hits his head on the toilet in frustration. What review? Oh, yah.right.I'm suppose to be writing a very long and boring chapter that'll keep people from wanting longer chapters. Sorry. I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH I revive I SMASH and I revive again. In Chapter Two, Xellos has to teach me EVERYTHING. Who cares? I'm Mesuinu. If you're lazy, I'll be reviewing and providing a summary of this chapter. I wonder if Tsumira will get in trouble for this. Xellos attempts to have me walk to him. Xellos is panicked. Naturally, I'm right behind my daddy. My final comment foreshadows the next chapter! Chapter three is entitled Puberty Problems. "I seriously hope she's not on her period.", Xellos mutters worried.  
Mesuinu's right arm slowly starts to transform. Changing, changing, always growing up  
  
Pain and sorrow overflow Living, living, gotta step it up Changing, changing, always growing up Living, living, gotta hurry up Changing, changing, always growing up Pain and sorrow overflow Living, living, gotta step it up Changing, changing, always growing up Living, living, gotta hurry up Changing, changing, always growing up Pain and sorrow overflow Living, living, gotta step it up  
  
Leathery bat-like wings slowly sprout from Mesuinu's back as her feet turn into wolf-like paws. Mesuinu roars a twisted mixture of a lion's roar and a wolf's howl. Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter Three. I REALLY HATE YOU!", a fourteen year old Mesuinu FEROCIOUSLY screams at her father and immediately teleports away. "I seriously hope she's not on her period.", Xellos mutters worried. Who knows WHAT she'll turn if to?! Mesuinu's right arm slowly starts to transform. Changing, changing, always growing up  
  
Pain and sorrow overflow Living, living, gotta step it up Changing, changing, always growing up Changing, changing, always growing up Living, living, gotta step it up Changing, changing, always growing up Changing, changing, always growing up Living, living, gotta step it up  
  
Mesuinu roars a twisted mixture of a lion's roar and a wolf's howl. Now for the edited chapter! What? Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter Three. I REALLY HATE YOU!", a fourteen year old Mesuinu FEROCIOUSLY screams at her father and immediately teleports away. "I seriously hope she's not on her period.", Xellos mutters worried. Who knows WHAT she'll turn if to?!  
Mesuinu's right arm slowly starts to transform. Changing, changing, always growing up Living, living, gotta step it up Changing, changing, always growing up Changing, changing, always growing up  
  
Mesuinu roars a twisted mixture of a lion's roar and a wolf's howl. Oh, have I reviewed chapter three yet? Well, on to review chapter three. Chapter three was pretty short. You like pointless if. Next chapter. Chapter four. Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Lists and Quests.  
  
Otousan!", Mesuinu greets her father coming out from nowhere. "Oi Mesuinu!", Xellos groans as his grown girl embraces him in a tight hug. Mesuinu lets go with a smirk. Xellos raises a brow and sweatdrops. "Wow, I didn't think you remembered my birthday!", Mesuinu exclaims in shock. You're turning twelve now, right?", Xellos comments. Mesuinu glares at her father. Mesuinu shakes her head. GIMME GIMME GIMME!" Xellos hands her a thick roll of parchment. "It's actually a list of who your mother can't be.", Xellos answers frankly. Mesuinu falls over. Mesuinu glares again at her father. "Sore wa himitsu desu!", Xellos retorts with his famous line.  
Mesuinu manifests a microphone into her hand. You're not going to sing!", Xellos quakes with fear (ANUBIS ANUBIS WE LOVE ANUBIS AKA SHUTEN DOJI!!!!).  
  
"I'm just a girl [Mesuinu bats her eyelashes innocently] Never hurt anyone [Mesuinu hits Xellos with her staff] But daddy but...  
  
But daddy but I want to do this [Mesuinu tap dances with her staff] But daddy but [Mesuinu stops tap dancing] I know it must be sad [Mesuinu makes sad eyes] To see your little girl grown, [Mesuinu makes her breasts bounce slightly] The chaos I've sown [Mesuinu gives a tradition Xellos eyes closed smile] I can be that girl again [Mesuinu smiles innocently] [Mesuinu turns into a chibi]  
  
But daddy but [Xellos sweatdrops, relieved that she isn't singing about love and peace]  
  
But daddy but [Xellos sweatdrops again] But daddy but ^^ [Mesuinu hugs Xellos as he falls over]  
  
"Bye daddy! I'm going off to look for my mother!", Mesuinu informs and teleports away. "Dear Porcelian God, I thought she'd never leave.", Xellos mutters relieved.  
  
"Uh-oh, Lina's casting a spell!" "I'm casting Magic Missile." "But there's nothing to attack.", Zel informs. "Blue eyes.", Gourry corrects. Zel rolls his eyes.  
"Well enough of that," Mesuinu begins, "I better stop procrastinating and begin my quest. Oh right! Mesuinu takes out the parchment and unrolls it. Now for the unedited chapter! Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter Four. Lists and Quests.  
  
Otousan!", Mesuinu greets her father coming out from nowhere. "Oi Mesuinu!", Xellos groans as his grown girl embraces him in a tight hug. Mesuinu lets go with a smirk. Xellos raises a brow and sweatdrops. "Wow, I didn't think you remembered my birthday!", Mesuinu exclaims in shock. You're turning twelve now, right?", Xellos comments. Mesuinu glares at her father. Mesuinu shakes her head. "Oh, but I do have a present for you!", Xellos informs. "Oh? Xellos hands her a thick roll of parchment. "It's actually a list of who your mother can't be.", Xellos answers frankly. Mesuinu falls over. Mesuinu glares again at her father. What will YOU be doing while I'm gone?", Mesuinu demands. "Sore wa himitsu desu!", Xellos retorts with his famous line. Please speak). Mesuinu manifests a microphone into her hand. You're not going to sing!", Xellos quakes with fear (ANUBIS ANUBIS WE LOVE ANUBIS AKA SHUTEN DOJI!!!!). Xellos tries to teleport away, but fails. "I'm just a girl [Mesuinu bats her eyelashes innocently] Never hurt anyone [Mesuinu hits Xellos with her staff] But daddy but...  
  
But daddy but I want to do this [Mesuinu tap dances with her staff] But daddy but [Mesuinu stops tap dancing] I know it must be sad [Mesuinu makes sad eyes] To see your little girl grown, [Mesuinu makes her breasts bounce slightly] The chaos I've sown [Mesuinu gives a tradition Xellos eyes closed smile] I can be that girl again [Mesuinu smiles innocently] [Mesuinu turns into a chibi]  
  
But daddy but [Xellos sweatdrops, relieved that she isn't singing about love and peace]  
  
But daddy but [Xellos sweatdrops again] But daddy but You just don't understand [Mesuinu makes a pouty and rebellious face] But daddy... ^^ [Mesuinu hugs Xellos as he falls over]  
  
"Bye daddy! I'm going off to look for my mother!", Mesuinu informs and teleports away. "Dear Porcelian God, I thought she'd never leave.", Xellos mutters relieved.  
  
"Uh-oh, Lina's casting a spell!" "I'm casting Magic Missile." "But there's nothing to attack.", Zel informs. "Blue eyes.", Gourry corrects. Zel rolls his eyes. You can talk if you want." "  
"Well enough of that," Mesuinu begins, "I better stop procrastinating and begin my quest. Oh right! Mesuinu takes out the parchment and unrolls it. "Uh...that's pretty long."  
  
Yah! Xellos has a daughter?  
  
Chapter Four. Otousan!", Mesuinu greets her father coming out from nowhere. "Oi Mesuinu!", Xellos groans as his grown girl embraces him in a tight hug. Mesuinu lets go with a smirk. Xellos raises a brow and sweatdrops. "Wow, I didn't think you remembered my birthday!", Mesuinu exclaims in shock. You're turning twelve now, right?", Xellos comments. Mesuinu glares at her father.  
Mesuinu shakes her head. "Oh, but I do have a present for you!", Xellos informs. "Oh? Xellos hands her a thick roll of parchment. "It's actually a list of who your mother can't be.", Xellos answers frankly. Mesuinu falls over. Mesuinu glares again at her father. "Sore wa himitsu desu!", Xellos retorts with his famous line. Please speak).  
Mesuinu manifests a microphone into her hand. Xellos tries to teleport away, but fails.  
  
"I'm just a girl [Mesuinu bats her eyelashes innocently] Never hurt anyone [Mesuinu hits Xellos with her staff] But daddy but...  
  
But daddy but I know it must be sad [Mesuinu makes sad eyes] To see your little girl grown, [Mesuinu makes her breasts bounce slightly] The chaos I've sown [Mesuinu gives a tradition Xellos eyes closed smile] I can be that girl again [Mesuinu smiles innocently] [Mesuinu turns into a chibi]  
  
But daddy but [Xellos sweatdrops, relieved that she isn't singing about love and peace]  
  
But daddy but [Xellos sweatdrops again] But daddy but You just don't understand [Mesuinu makes a pouty and rebellious face] But daddy... ^^ [Mesuinu hugs Xellos as he falls over]  
  
"Bye daddy! I'm going off to look for my mother!", Mesuinu informs and teleports away. "Dear Porcelain God, I thought she'd never leave.", Xellos mutters relieved.  
  
"Uh-oh, Lina's casting a spell!" "I'm casting Magic Missile." "Blue eyes.", Gourry corrects. Zel rolls his eyes. You can talk if you want." " "Well enough of that," Mesuinu begins, "I better stop procrastinating and begin my quest. Oh right! Mesuinu takes out the parchment and unrolls it. "Uh...that's pretty long."  
  
This chapter is my birthday! Even if it was a stupid list. A very long list. Tsumira wrote it before chapter one. That is all the Mesuinu fics that were written before Chapter One. Back to Chapter Four. Reviewing? Who cares? Mesuinu's Quest. Chapter One. Only 44 pages. AutoSummary. Xellos has a daughter! Mesuinu's Quest!  
  
Mesuinu enters a small and quaint town. Mesuinu rubs her eyes a bit and opens them. "Ah...ah...hmmm.", Mesu sighs.  
  
I am the mysteriously wonderful priestess Mesuinu!", Mesu informs with a bow. "I am Seirra. Please, priestess, you must heal my sick brother!" "Please come with me!", Seirra exclaims grabbing Mesuinu's arm and running off with her to her humble abode.  
  
Mesuinu and Seirra arrive at Seirra and her brother's small cottage home in the village. I'm just about to cook lunch.", Seirra informs heading into the tiny kitchen. Mesuinu falls back and out of her seat. "This EVENING?!", Mesuinu exclaims. Seirra heads back into the kitchen and finishes lunch up. "Thanks!" Seirra takes a pitcher and fills Mesuinu's glass with homemade wine. "Wine?", Mesuinu inquires. Mesuinu takes a tiny sip. not bad.", Mesuinu informs. Please, enjoy.", Seirra informs taking a seat and beginning to eat her soup. "For the Porcelain Deity!", Mesuinu exclaims and digs into her soap. A nap is only fitting for after eating.", Mesuinu comments and follows Seirra into the bedroom. Well then, I'll wake you when my brother has arrived.", Seirra speaks.  
Mesuinu reclines on the bed, her staff leaning against the bed and her arms under her head. "Free lunch...free bed. Forcing out a yawn, Mesuinu closes her eyes and slowly drifts into slumber.  
  
Seirra smiles peeking in on the sleeping Mesuinu before heading back to washing dishes. Mesuinu peeks one of her eyes open, yet still silted. "Is your brother home already?", Mesu asks slyly. I really can't thank you enough.", Seirra informs. Mesuinu's eye focuses on Seirra as she picks up a broom and begins sweeping the house.  
  
"One sweep. Two sweep. Clean. One sweep. Two sweep. Clean. Clean. Not nearly amusing enough.", Mesuinu comments watching Seirra sweep back and forth to little avail. Now I KNOW my father never came to this town.", Mesuinu reflects silently and closes her eyes again. Slowly, but surely, she falls asleep.  
  
Seirra sighs and continues her boring and virtually pointless sweeping. Mesuinu yawns, startling Seirra. Mesuinu yawns again, but Seirra ignores it and continues her house tidying. Mesuinu notes that the feminine one is the same as Seirra, and the vampire-like male, had to be her "brother." Mesuinu blinks innocently. "Oh, it appears that the entire town are vampires.", Mesuinu states the obvious.  
Mesuinu sighs fondly.  
  
Reach 100 pages. Now to the first chapter. Sorry. Not Tsumira. Mesuinu. Daughter of Xellos. Xellos has a daughter! Mesuinu's Quest!  
  
Chapter One.  
Mesuinu enters a small and quaint town. Mesuinu rubs her eyes a bit and opens them. "Ah...ah...hmmm.", Mesu sighs.  
  
"A priestess," Mesuinu comments realizing what separates her from the others, "are you looking for one?" I am the mysteriously wonderful priestess Mesuinu!", Mesu informs with a bow. "I am Seirra. Please, priestess, you must heal my sick brother!" "Please come with me!", Seirra exclaims grabbing Mesuinu's arm and running off with her to her humble abode.  
  
Mesuinu and Seirra arrive at Seirra and her brother's small cottage home in the village. I'm just about to cook lunch.", Seirra informs heading into the tiny kitchen. Mesuinu falls back and out of her seat. "This EVENING?!", Mesuinu exclaims. Seirra heads back into the kitchen and finishes lunch up. "Thanks!" Mesuinu sweatdrops, wondering if she should leave before she's expected to save the world or something. Seirra takes a pitcher and fills Mesuinu's glass with homemade wine. "Wine?", Mesuinu inquires. Mesuinu takes a tiny sip. not bad.", Mesuinu informs. Please, enjoy.", Seirra informs taking a seat and beginning to eat her soup. "For the Porcelain Deity!", Mesuinu exclaims and digs into her soap. A nap is only fitting for after eating.", Mesuinu comments and follows Seirra into the bedroom. Well then, I'll wake you when my brother has arrived.", Seirra speaks. I'm the mysterious priestess of secrets you know.", Mesu informs. "If you need anything, I'll be right outside."  
Mesuinu reclines on the bed, her staff leaning against the bed and her arms under her head. "Free lunch...free bed. Well, that's what I would do!", Mesuinu notes silently to herself. Forcing out a yawn, Mesuinu closes her eyes and slowly drifts into slumber.  
  
Seirra smiles peeking in on the sleeping Mesuinu before heading back to washing dishes. Mesuinu peeks one of her eyes open, yet still silted. "Is your brother home already?", Mesu asks slyly. I really can't thank you enough.", Seirra informs. Mesuinu's eye focuses on Seirra as she picks up a broom and begins sweeping the house.  
  
"One sweep. Clean. Not nearly amusing enough.", Mesuinu comments watching Seirra sweep back and forth to little avail. Now I KNOW my father never came to this town.", Mesuinu reflects silently and closes her eyes again. Slowly, but surely, she falls asleep.  
  
I best not wake her.", Seirra notes glancing into the room. Mesuinu yawns, startling Seirra. Mesuinu yawns again, but Seirra ignores it and continues her house tidying. Mesuinu notes that the feminine one is the same as Seirra, and the vampire-like male, had to be her "brother." Oh thank the Porcelain deity, I get to keep my kidneys for a little longer!", Mesuinu exclaims sarcastically, with eyes closed. Mesuinu blinks innocently. "Oh, it appears that the entire town are vampires.", Mesuinu states the obvious. I am Mesuinu, daughter of Xellos, the general/priest of Lord Beastmaster...PREPARE FOR YOUR END!!!!" Mesuinu raises her left hand into the air and snaps her finger once.  
Mesuinu sighs fondly. I've beat Tsumira's record. Might as well. Time for the edited version. Xellos has a daughter! Mesuinu's Quest!  
  
Chapter One.  
Mesuinu enters a small and quaint town. Mesuinu rubs her eyes a bit and opens them. "Ah...ah...hmmm.", Mesu sighs.  
  
I am the mysteriously wonderful priestess Mesuinu!", Mesu informs with a bow. "I am Seirra. Please, priestess, you must heal my sick brother!" "Please come with me!", Seirra exclaims grabbing Mesuinu's arm and running off with her to her humble abode.  
  
Mesuinu and Seirra arrive at Seirra and her brother's small cottage home in the village. Mesuinu falls back and out of her seat. "This EVENING?!", Mesuinu exclaims. Seirra heads back into the kitchen and finishes lunch up. "Thanks!" Mesuinu sweatdrops, wondering if she should leave before she's expected to save the world or something. Seirra takes a pitcher and fills Mesuinu's glass with homemade wine. "Wine?", Mesuinu inquires. Mesuinu takes a tiny sip. not bad.", Mesuinu informs. "For the Porcelain Deity!", Mesuinu exclaims and digs into her soap. A nap is only fitting for after eating.", Mesuinu comments and follows Seirra into the bedroom. Well then, I'll wake you when my brother has arrived.", Seirra speaks. "If you need anything, I'll be right outside."  
Mesuinu reclines on the bed, her staff leaning against the bed and her arms under her head. Well, that's what I would do!", Mesuinu notes silently to herself. Forcing out a yawn, Mesuinu closes her eyes and slowly drifts into slumber.  
  
Seirra smiles peeking in on the sleeping Mesuinu before heading back to washing dishes. Mesuinu peeks one of her eyes open, yet still silted. I really can't thank you enough.", Seirra informs. Mesuinu's eye focuses on Seirra as she picks up a broom and begins sweeping the house.  
  
Not nearly amusing enough.", Mesuinu comments watching Seirra sweep back and forth to little avail. Now I KNOW my father never came to this town.", Mesuinu reflects silently and closes her eyes again. Slowly, but surely, she falls asleep.  
  
Mesuinu yawns, startling Seirra. Mesuinu yawns again, but Seirra ignores it and continues her house tidying. Mesuinu notes that the feminine one is the same as Seirra, and the vampire-like male, had to be her "brother." Oh thank the Porcelain deity, I get to keep my kidneys for a little longer!", Mesuinu exclaims sarcastically, with eyes closed. Mesuinu blinks innocently. I am Mesuinu, daughter of Xellos, the general/priest of Lord Beastmaster...PREPARE FOR YOUR END!!!!" Mesuinu raises her left hand into the air and snaps her finger once.  
Mesuinu sighs fondly. Enjoyed? The speculation was that Miho was Mesuinu. It means that if Miho=Me, then Miho=daughter of Xellos. One young lady used her authoress powers to listen in on a conversation between Xellos and Lord Beastmaster. Lord Beastmaster wanted to know if Miho was his daughter. I formed a ball of black magic. Page 59. Two more chapters left. Chapter Two. Mesuinu has an older brother? Mesuinu wa ani ga iimasu ka? If I did have a brother.  
  
Mesuinu's Quest  
  
Chapter Two: Mesuinu has an older brother?!  
  
Mesuinu arrives in a rather large city. "Well.here's my chance.", Mesu sweatdrops.  
The adventuring young priestess approaches the blonde woman without caution. Mesuinu quickly calms herself and teleports safely right side up on the ground. Mesuinu steps to the side as less than pleasant company heads inside the building. Mesuinu sighs and takes another step away from the brothel. A streak of light crosses Mesuinu's eyes as she gets a feeling of being watched. Mesuinu sweatdrops with her eyes tightly closed. I hope you're buying.", Mesuinu informs. "You're SO going to regret that!", Mesuinu notes. Mesuinu immediately begins stuffing her face and guzzling down her wine. Mesuinu returns to her seat with two more plates of food. An adorable kitty plushie appears on her shoulder holding up a sign that reads "Mesuinu." "Uh.Mesuinu. That's your name?", Val inquires. "SISTER?! Mesuinu's elbows rest on the table and she looks at Val sternly. You are my little sister. I was never kidnapped.", Mesuinu testifies.  
Mesuinu shakes her head. Besides, why would Xellos actually WANT to raise a child, especially such a troublesome and mischievous child as Mesuinu? "I didn't accuse your father of kidnapping you.  
Looking Val in the eye, Mesuinu opens her mouth to explain what she had already explained to herself in thought. "Yes.", Mesuinu replies. Val immediately takes Mesuinu by the wrist and drags her outside. Mesuinu gulps. "Mom!  
Mesuinu takes a deep breath.  
  
Now for Chapter Two.  
  
Mesuinu's Quest  
  
Chapter Two: Mesuinu has an older brother?!  
  
Mesuinu arrives in a rather large city. "Well.here's my chance.", Mesu sweatdrops.  
The adventuring young priestess approaches the blonde woman without caution. I am a traveling priestess and I was hoping the you could provide some information about a fellow priest called Xellos.", Mesuinu requests going straight to the point.  
"Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!!", Xellos's daughter cries out as she finds herself flying backwards into the air. Mesuinu quickly calms herself and teleports safely right side up on the ground. Mesuinu steps to the side as less than pleasant company heads inside the building. Mesuinu sighs and takes another step away from the brothel. A streak of light crosses Mesuinu's eyes as she gets a feeling of being watched. Mesuinu takes a couple of steps back and away from the stranger. Mesuinu sweatdrops with her eyes tightly closed. I hope you're buying.", Mesuinu informs. "You're SO going to regret that!", Mesuinu notes. Mesuinu immediately begins stuffing her face and guzzling down her wine. Mesuinu returns to her seat with two more plates of food. An adorable kitty plushie appears on her shoulder holding up a sign that reads "Mesuinu." "Uh.Mesuinu. That's your name?", Val inquires. "SISTER?! Mesuinu's elbows rest on the table and she looks at Val sternly. You are my little sister. I was never kidnapped.", Mesuinu testifies. Mesuinu shakes her head. Besides, why would Xellos actually WANT to raise a child, especially such a troublesome and mischievous child as Mesuinu? "I didn't accuse your father of kidnapping you.  
Looking Val in the eye, Mesuinu opens her mouth to explain what she had already explained to herself in thought. "Yes.", Mesuinu replies. "She's right in town. Val immediately takes Mesuinu by the wrist and drags her outside. Mesuinu gulps.  
"Mom!  
Mesuinu takes a deep breath. I only love my daddy. Tsumira likes long chapters. It's impossible for her to write long chapters. Did I review chapter two yet?  
  
Mesuinu's Quest  
  
Chapter Two: Mesuinu has an older brother?!  
  
Mesuinu arrives in a rather large city. "Well.here's my chance.", Mesu sweatdrops. I am a traveling priestess and I was hoping the you could provide some information about a fellow priest called Xellos.", Mesuinu requests going straight to the point.  
"Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!!", Xellos's daughter cries out as she finds herself flying backwards into the air. Mesuinu quickly calms herself and teleports safely right side up on the ground. Mesuinu steps to the side as less than pleasant company heads inside the building. Mesuinu sighs and takes another step away from the brothel. A streak of light crosses Mesuinu's eyes as she gets a feeling of being watched. Mesuinu sweatdrops with her eyes tightly closed. I hope you're buying.", Mesuinu informs. "You're SO going to regret that!", Mesuinu notes. Mesuinu immediately begins stuffing her face and guzzling down her wine. Mesuinu returns to her seat with two more plates of food. "Uh.Mesuinu. That's your name?", Val inquires. "SISTER?! Mesuinu's elbows rest on the table and she looks at Val sternly. You are my little sister. I was never kidnapped.", Mesuinu testifies.  
Mesuinu shakes her head. Besides, why would Xellos actually WANT to raise a child, especially such a troublesome and mischievous child as Mesuinu?  
Looking Val in the eye, Mesuinu opens her mouth to explain what she had already explained to herself in thought. "Yes.", Mesuinu replies. Val immediately takes Mesuinu by the wrist and drags her outside. Mesuinu gulps.  
"Mom!  
Mesuinu takes a deep breath. Filia? Long and lost. I've read the chapter, so I should know if I was abandoned or not! Only page 75. Put it in sub-chapters. You want long chapters. You want longer chapters. You're going to get longer chapters. You'll never read a new story again! You'll forever read my long and boring reviews. Next chapter I'll review the first fanfic Tsumira posted on fanfiction.net Tsumira will never write another fanfic.  
  
Almost there! I probably won't even need to do another AutoSummary! I have an idea. Why don't I do an AutoSummary of an AutoSummary? Wouldn't that be cool? I'll do an AutoSummary of the finally AutoSummary of this chapter. Here we go! Mesuinu's Quest  
  
Mesuinu's Quest. Mesuinu's Quest!  
  
Mesuinu. Mesuinu's Quest!  
  
Mesuinu's Quest!  
  
Mesuinu's Quest  
  
"Uh.Mesuinu. " "Mesuinu gulps.  
  
Mesuinu's Quest  
  
"Uh.Mesuinu. " "  
  
Mesuinu's Quest  
  
Mesuinu's Quest  
  
Mesuinu's Quest. Mesuinu's Quest!  
  
Mesuinu.  
  
I did it! Welcome to page 100! The last AutoSummary was an AutoSummary of an AutoSummary of an AutoSummary of an AutoSummary of an AutoSummary. That's right, FIVE AutoSummary. Now that we've finally reached the 100th page, I end this chapter. Be prepared of Chapter Four: Mesuinu Strikes Back With A Vengeance Almost As Big As The List Her Mother Cannot Be Is Long! The End.at last. 


	4. Not Chapter Three Either

Mesuinu's Quest  
  
Chapter 3 1/2. Mesuinu's Musings Mensues.  
  
Mesuinu back by request! I have to apologize, this chapter will be shorter than normal. (Tsumira's kind of fuming over the 100 page thing, and she's kind of looking forward to adding on to her other fanfics). Oh, if you're wondering what "Mensues" mean, it's simply ensues with an M!  
  
Now than, one person ALMOST, maybe a little be more than ALMOST, regretting the request for longer chapters isn't enough to stop me!  
  
^^;;; Though I must confess, Tsumira might be able to.  
  
Ah, and I've noticed a lot of problems when it uploaded.  
  
It doesn't like double space.  
  
Next time.  
  
I must.  
  
Manually.  
  
Put the spaces.  
  
In.  
  
Between.  
  
The lines.  
  
Like.  
  
I am.  
  
Doing.  
  
Now.  
  
It takes up more space that way!  
  
Weeeeeeee!!  
  
Now lets see, what should I talk about now?  
  
-Nothing-  
  
YIKES!  
  
Tsumira!  
  
-I'm using "-" to differentiate my writing from- MINE!  
  
-MESUINU!- 0;)  
  
- #¬¬ - ^^;;  
  
The people demand me! You have no right to stop me!  
  
-Yes, they demand you to go and finish your adventures. There are probably more people out there who want to find out who your mother is more than they want longer chapters-  
  
Pfffft! =P  
  
-Remember who made you.-  
  
-XELLOS-PAPA!-  
  
-Those are MY tags Mesuinu!-  
  
-Not any more, they are MINE MINE MINE LAND MINE!-  
  
Fine, but no more chapters by you.  
  
That's no fair Tsumira!  
  
-I thought you were going to use the tags.-  
  
I don't like them anymore.  
  
-Okay, whatever.-  
  
~These tags are cuter!~  
  
-You're trying to confuse everyone, aren't you?-  
  
~You're trying to confuse everyone, aren't you?~  
  
-Don't make me break out into Excel Saga on you.- ~.............~  
  
-Thought so.-  
  
-Well, I apologize for Mesuinu's actions. Please look forward to the REAL chapter three in the future. Depending on my mood, I might even let her make MINOR and SHORT comments on her adventures in her own words. Well, thanks for reading!- 


	5. Sneak Peak

Mesuinu here! I know you poor fans.er fan, has been severely neglected. Take heart that everyone else who reads Tsumira's fanfics, especially the Inuyasha ones, have equally be neglected. This is because Tsumira is a terribly writer and procrastinator and is suffering some sort of mental retardation. She claims that the Negaverse has drained her of her creativity, and that a lack of her muse, roleplaying games such as Dungeons and Dragons, have contributed greatly to her lack of motivation and inspiration. However, I know, and know you know, she's just too lazy.  
  
If she'd just drop out of college, she might be able to get some real work done. Well, I guess it's up to me to errr.oof! *gagged*  
  
^^;;; Well, I'm not lazy! Just suffering from a long-term case of writer's block.or more precisely, creator's block.  
  
Anyway, until I'm motivated to get back to the stories of my fanfic, Mesuinu fans will be teased with a sneak preview of a future "episode" of this series.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
SNEAK PEAK Mesuinu's Bachelorette Party!  
  
"We still need to decide who's going to be in charge of the bachelor and bacherlorette parties.", Lina reminds. "I'll be in charge of the bachlorette party.", Xellos quickly volunteers. "WHAT?!", Filia protests. "But Mister Xellos, you're not a girl. You can't be in charge of the bachelorette party.", Amelia informs. "She's got a point, Xellos.", the red haired sorceress concedes pointing her finger at Xellos. "Oh? Are you sure I'm not a girl?", Xellos smirks. Filia's face turns a sickly green and Lina's follows suit. Amelia seem completely oblivious.  
"I KNOW FOR ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT YOU'RE NOT A GIRL!!!", Mesuinu's mom blares. Xellos sweatdrops. "You all should know that this form doesn't define my gender. If I wanted, I could take on a female form just as easy as this. Really now." "That's WONDERFUL, Mister Xellos!", Amelia proclaims. Everyone else falls down.  
After several moments of gagging and restraining Amelia, a few perverse transsexual comments from Xellos, and much beating down for aforementioned comments, things slowly begin to settle down. "Then I suppose I should be in charge of the bachelor party, then.", Mesuinu's father suggests. "Exactly WHY should you be in charge?", Zelgadis demands. Xellos points at Gourry who is simply floating along the floors of the room in a carefree manner while wearing a jellyfish costume. No one really knows why though. "Yah, it's pretty obvious that we can't let HIM be in charge.", Zel concedes. "AND the person in charge of the bachelor party has to be the one to hire the strippers. Think you can handle that, Zelgadis?" Zelgadis blushes slightly, but soon begins to fume furiously. "STRIPERS?!!!", all of the ladies, including a suddenly free Amelia, exclaim looming dangerously over the guys. Xellos and Zelgadis sweatdrop apprehensively.  
  
Well, that's it of the sneak peak at Mesuinu's Bachelorette party! Hope you enjoyed. Noticed that Sylphiel isn't there, nor Val for that matter. They may simply not be there, or just haven't contributed in the sneak peak. Notice that I don't mention the groom's name nor who his parents are. Which probably makes you want to ask another question, why is almost all of the Slayers gang gathered together to plan the bachelor and bachelorette parties of Mesuinu and her husband-to-be.  
  
Well, until I'm motivated.uh.bai! 


	6. Still not chapter threeRant & Rampage

It begins..  
  
It is the collapse..  
  
Everything you know..  
  
Everything will change..  
  
Everything will fall apart..  
  
Why?  
  
Because Mesuinu will ALWAYS find a way to side track the storyline!  
  
That's right, I, Mesuinu, daughter of the Mazoku, Xellos, and some woman I have yet to discover who she is, will always manage to successfully delay the story from developing into maturity!  
  
Why?  
  
Because..  
  
I can.  
  
And because..  
  
It's fun!  
  
Now then, to address some reviews!  
  
Review of reviews!  
  
Why didn't I think of it before?  
  
The first review for this series comes from Alys'Culdil'Baranlote.  
  
Congratulations to Alys'Culdil'Baranlote for being the first to review this fanfic!  
  
Much thanks to your patron on behalf of me and Tsumira from me!  
  
She reviewed the first chapter saying that it was fantastic and how similar I was to Xellos-papa.  
  
Alys'Culdil'Baranlote, is a regular patron of this fanfic so much applause goes out to her for her eternal and unwavering devotion even should the story and plot go astray and I take over to type up perpetual nonsense.everyone deserves a fan like her!  
  
Okay, on to the second review.  
  
The second review is from Tsumira's real life friend, nightsiren02.  
  
Her "sis" often bugs her irl to update her fics, and thus does not usually review them online.  
  
Her review is of chapter two requesting longer chapters and to update.  
  
The third review, the second review of Alys'Culdil'Baranlote, agrees with nightsiren02, who by the way, is the only nightsiren ON fanfiction.net  
  
By the fourth review, by loyal patron Alys'Culdil'Baranlote, she starts to only slightly regret the request for longer chapters. Naturally, she read my 100 page long review and summary of the previous chapters and series.  
  
It was really a bunch of nonsense, I mean, I wasn't THAT great.  
  
However, as mentioned earlier, she remains devoted.  
  
Tsumira - Like Excel to Ilpallazo-sama!  
  
Mesuinu - Don't interrupt! I'm on a roll here!  
  
Now then on to the fifth review.  
  
Again, it's by Alys'Culdil'Baranlote.  
  
She finds that my chapters are amusing, I'm really flattered.  
  
Unfortunately, her hopes for the story getting back on track are dashed.  
  
Oh well.  
  
The sixth review is from, SURPISE; Silver Moon Rebel, and not our usual Alys'Culdil'Baranlote,  
  
Tsumira - On an irrelevant note, my grandma use to call Sailor Moon, Silver Moon. I was also lured into watching and enjoying DBZ when she called me out saying that Silver Moon was on International Channel. That was the first time I saw a Super Saiyan.and it was Trunks. ^____^  
  
Mesuinu - Ahem, I'm the one who interrupts!  
  
SMR, believes that Tsumira needs help, I'd have to agree that she is quite a mental case.  
  
Tsumira - And I suppose you're not?  
  
Mesuinu - No, I've reached a higher state of enlightenment that one reaches after they've surpassed mental instability and insanity.  
  
Tsumira - -.- I'd believe that.  
  
Mesuinu - She seems to want smaller paragraphs, and thus I'd be happy to oblige by making sure that Tsumira's paragraphs are no longer than one word long!  
  
Tsumira - No, no, and no. I admit, sometimes my paragraphs get too lengthy. The problem is trying to keep paragraphs with the same theme together without making it too long.  
  
Mesuinu - She also thinks that a new paragraph should be started each time a new person talks. This is the first time anyone's said that in my series.  
  
Tsumira - For me, it's the first time for my Slayers fics. I've get this complaint a lot in my other fics, and it really gets on my nerves. I try to write in story/novel format, and I don't recall ever reading novels in which every time a person speaks they get their own paragraph. This really ticks me off. Many of the fanfics I read don't do this, so why am I the few who get BUGGED TO SEPARATE PEOPLE SPEAKING?! I properly attribute when necessary. Do you fans really feel the need to have space? I got ticked off when ONE person complained about my spacing in an RPG I ran, and started a new paragraph for each sentence, HOWEVER, that's an RPG, and people get intimidated if it looks like a story or novel. However, many of the other famous rpgs I've seen are written in a story/novel format and I haven't so much as heard anyone complain about. However, rpgs are different from stories, this is a story. Fic is short for fiction, fiction is a type of story, and therefore a fanfic is a story written by a fan. This isn't a manga where you can look at pretty pictures and read the words in the bubbles. It's a story, and I'm getting sick of people trying to tell me how I should format my story. I don't mind people making suggestions, such as shorter paragraphs, re-check my grammar, or some sort of factual information, or suggesting ideas as to what should happen or where the story should go. Format.that's my job.  
  
Mesuinu - Uh, I think maybe you should break up that BIG paragraph there.  
  
Tsumira - Oh shut up Mesuinu, it's a rant. And to get back to ranting.  
  
I attribute frequently, and when I don't, it should be obvious who's speaking. If you're a true fan, then you wouldn't be completely clueless every time you see something that isn't attributed.  
  
I swear, if I did a fanfic that had only TWO characters from an anime, and all of their interactions and conversations were just between them, I'd STILL get complaints DEMANDING separate paragraphs for each time someone speaks.  
  
Oh, and on another note, I'm going to look over the fanfics of my reviews who are making such requests and see how their fics are done. No need for hypocrites.  
  
I'll start with Silver Moon Rebel. I'm glad that your review started off with an apology, and I understand that you had no malice towards me. Please understand, that chapter with all the reviews and summaries and uncut versions was a gag chapter. It's not part of the story, nor anything else Mesuinu writes. You could have skipped it. Only hard-core fans would read it, and you're not that fan. I'm sorry if it was confusing, but Mesuinu's not the most understandable character. She's a complex character that even I can't understand sometimes.  
  
Mesuinu - Are you ---  
  
Tsumira - No I'm not.  
  
I'm also glad that Silver Moon Rebel stated "that these are just suggestions and you don't have to change it if you don't want to." Most of the other reviewers who made similar requests took no heart in being kind, but they weren't necessarily cruel or mean, they simply didn't care either way.  
  
I've looked over your fic, Dark Past, Long Forgotten. You have lengthy paragraphs in it, but nowhere near as often as mine can get. Looks good, I'll have to read it later and review.  
  
Mesuinu - Are we ever going back to the story?  
  
Tsumira - You actually want us to?  
  
Mesuinu - Not really since you plan to marry me off.  
  
Tsumira - Mesu, that's not for maybe 100 chapters to come. It's a teaser. Hopefully I'll have something, even if incomplete, to post next week. College is so stressful, time consuming.and my college is just plain evil.  
  
Mesuinu - Can I blow it up then?  
  
Tsumira - Go right ahead. The sooner the better. If I wasn't stuck at such an abusive and neglectful and hateful university, I might be a little more productive socially, economically, academically, and fanficually.  
  
Well, enough about that, Mesuinu's Rampage and Tsumira's Rant is OVER.  
  
THE END 


	7. Thank the Porcelian God, Chapter Three

Mesuinu's Quest  
  
Chapter Three at Last: Gaav Reborn? Probably Not.  
  
(This is being done as a text file, since this comp doesn't have Word. It may look messed up when loaded. I don't even have a disk to save this on either....but the fans demand updates, and I have to get even with Mesuinu. =P)  
  
Mesuinu takes a deep breath. "I barely got out of that one. That was close. I have a quest to complete, and I don't need to meet other people's mothers. I have my own to find. If he wasn't so delusional, he might have been able to help me. Oh well, I'll have to find her on my own.", Mesuinu comments to herself looking behind her as she walks off in the street. Suddenly she stops and finds that she has run into a tall and handsome young human male with short red hair and blue eyes. At his side is a well-crafted sword.   
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊHe was tall, very tall, but handsome. He didn't look too bright, and he seemed friendly peering through his rough exterior. The hilt of his sword was well worn, marking him out as a swordsman. His hair was short and spikey on top and long towards the back. His hair stopped at the base of his shoulder blades. The way it was cut looked as though the original intent was to dice the whole long locks off, but some spiteful magic prevented him from doing so. He didn't seem to be the mercinary type or someone simply looking for trouble. However, Mesuinu knows personally that looks can be deceiving.  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊThe two lock eyes. Looking up at him, he didn't seem so tall afterall. Probably about a foot taller than herself. Very fortunate for her that he wasn't seven or eight feet tall, she'd have passed out before making eye contact. "Excuse me!", the swordsman and the priestess exclaim at the same time. Mesuinu giggles and blushes. It was so cute that Xellos-papa would start digging his grave if he was there.  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊHe had pleasant features and a firm body. He was strong, but he wasn't bulky. His stomach is a bit plump, showing that he enjoys to eat, and eat a lot. His innate charm causes the mysterious miko's slanted eyes to open into wide adorableness.  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊThere is something about him, that pulls her towards him. Some sort of weird chemical reation or magnitism. Or it could be how beautiful and well-crafted his sword is. Several women find a mystical sword to be very attractive in a man. =P  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊShe finds herself leaning foward, her eyes closing in a way that she has never closed them before. She feels his nose press against her nose and she realises that he is leaning down towards her. His nose is gentle and warm. She wraps her arms around his neck as she nuzzles with him. His arms slowly wrap around her waist. She breathes in the rich stew of his breath and he takes in the sweet melody of hers. Their lips move towards each other's slowly.  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"It's my fault.", the swordsman insists, interupting Mesuinu's fantasy. Mesuinu blushes profusely, realizing where her mind had been wandering. "That isn't like me!", she blurts out loud. "Oh, no, it's my fault." "No, no, no! The fault is completely mine.", the priestess insists, her eyes slitting to her normal mysterious status quo. "Oh no, I wasn't paying any attention to where I was going. It wasn't like you appeared out of nowhere.", the swordsman explains. Mesuinu sweatdrops apprehensively. In all honesty, she did appear out of nowhere, but she couldn't tell him that. "Oh, no, completely not your fault. I was the one who wasn't paying attention.", Mesu insists.  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"I'm really sorry, but it really is my fault."  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"My fault! Really it is!"  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"Not at all. I'm really sorry, but the fault is mine."  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"Men are SO stubborn! It's my fault!"  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"No, no, I'm pretty sure it's mine. I have a habit of bumping into people, so it's my fault."  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"Men NEVER admit when they're wrong, so it's OBVIOUSLY my fault."  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"Not all men do...I've had a harsh upbringing. It's my fault."  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"Yah, well my father has had a harsh fatherhood. That doesn't affect who's to blame, and that person to blame for this bumping into is me!"  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"I'm sorry, but I can't let you blame yourself when it's clearly my fault."  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊThe sun slowly begins to set over the city, calling forth the dark of evening.  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"How about we just leave it at us both being at fault?", Mesuinu suggests.  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"I don't know...."  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"Otherwise we'll be here all day."  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"I guess, but the next time I bump into you, it's definately my fault.", the swordsman informs.  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"Very well.", Mesuinu replies thinking that it would probably be her fault next time.  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊThe swordsman takes his leave. Mesuinu sighs, wondering if she should go ahead and get dinner or follow him. There was something about him that Mesuinu couldn't place a finger on. "He's clearly no ordinary swordsman. There's something different about him."  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊAs fate would have it, an opportunity, an excuse to follow, prevents itself to the priestess. Glancing down, she notices his finely crafted sword on the ground. "That's, his sword? What's it doing on the ground? Did he lose it, or did he drop it on purpose? Did he want me to follow him, or his he trying to frame me as a thief?" Mesuinu sighs, picking up the sword. Moral debates have always been lost to her. Although well-crafted, feeling it in her hands, she can tell right away that it's not magical, and therefore worthless to her. She shrugs her shoulders. "I wanted an excuse."  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊCradling the sword carefully in her hands, Mesuinu pushes through the crowd. Her grip is deadly, not desiring the sword to be loosed from her half-mazoku hands. Finally, she makes it through the crowd and to her pr...to the swordsman.  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ"Excuse me.", she appologizes tapping him on the shoulder. He spins around startled, drawing his sword from his sheath of which both are not there. Mesuinu sweatdrops and holds out his sword. "You dropped this.", the miko explains.  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊThe swordsman sighs, relieved. He smiles briefly before an apprehensive look crosses his face. He takes the sword gently from her. "Thanks. I keep losing swords. I thought this one was going to be safe since I kept a hold of it for so long. Thanks...uh..." "Mesuinu. I am the Priestess Mesuinu of the God of Secrets." "Thank you very much. I'm Garth.", the swordsman replies giving his name. "Gaav?" "No, Garth." "Ah, sorry."  
  
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊA moment of silence ensues as the two simply stand around taking up space and time. "So, you've been having problems losing your sword? I can fix that."  
  
"You can?", Garth inquires.  
  
"Of course I can. I'm a priestess afterall. It's a simple spell based on scrying spell. Instead of finding a lost item, the lost item finds you. It's not the...*growl*...*growl*...diff...*growl*...ic...*growl*ult."  
  
"^^;; Looks like you're...*growl* hungry...*growl*too. How about you cast your spell on my sword and I buy you dinner?", Garth comments.  
  
"You've got yourself a deal!", Mesuinu proclaims.  
  
Before long, the duo find themselves at an eating establishment.  
  
"Eat as much as you like. I'm buying.", Garth informs.  
  
"Oh you are SO going to regret that as much as the last guy!", Mesuinu informs.  
  
"The last guy?", Garth wonders, feeling slightly worried.  
  
"Yah, some guy came up to me and offered to buy me lunch. I must say, I was supicious. A stranger offering to buy me lunch for no reason. As it turned out though, it was a case of mistaken identity. For some reason he thought I was his long lost sister.", the miko admits.  
  
"It was probably a bad pick-up line. He probably uses that excuse on every girl he meets."  
  
"Well better that than groping and asking to bear his child. I've heard stories of a monk that does just that, but fortunately he's in a completely different anime.", Mesu blurts out.  
  
"True, but this is a fanfic afterall, and there's probably little to stop the writer from doing a cross-over fic.", Garth comments.  
  
"Nah, she wouldn't dare. Besides, I killed her in one of her other Slayers fics. She knows better than to mess with Mesuinu.", the daughter of Xellos boasts.  
  
"Hasn't that been done before? As I recall, Exel in the anime was killed her creator.", Garth notes.  
  
(Wonder how many anime references I can shove into this fanfic? As many as Mesuinu will allow me to. =P)  
  
"Hey Garth, do you think that maybe you're a Slayers version of Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho?", Mesuinu questions.  
  
"Not likely. Though we both have the same color hair and eyes, please note that I use a sword and not a rose whip.", Garth replies.  
  
"Speaking of roses, maybe you're modeled after a certain Rose Duelist. ^.~"  
  
"Not likely. Utena has pink hair...well in the anime. She's blonde in the manga.", Garth informs.  
  
"ÂÂ Wrong duelist.", Mesu scowles.  
  
"Oh. Same anime, right? Well, anyway, I think if anything, I'm probably modeled off of the writer's boyfriend.", Garth comments.  
  
"Well, you do share names with him, but you don't look anything like him."  
  
"You don't look anything like her."  
  
"Thank the Porcelian Diety for that one!", Mesuinu praises.  
  
"You know, I could stop writing this.", a voice from out of nowhere speaks.  
  
"Yah, but the fans demand you write!", Mesu retorts.  
  
"Yah, and my Inuyasha fic is way overdue for an update.", the voice speaks again.  
  
"You know, this time it's YOU derailing it. You and your endless anime references."  
  
"Gomen ne sunao ja nakute."  
  
"You did it again.", Mesu informs.  
  
"Hush. Let's get on with the story. I'm sure you're hungry."  
  
Mesuinu falls over in her chair falling loudly onto the floor. Her face turns blue from hunger while her stomach roars like a ravenous dragon, thus scaring some of the patrons.  
  
"I forgot."  
  
Garth slowly helps Mesuinu backs up in her seat and quickly calls for a server and two menus. Of course, it didn't take long for either of them to order.  
  
"I'll have everything on the left side of the menu and all of the wines on the back of the menu.", Mesuinu orders.  
  
"Everything on the left, everything on the right, triple portions."  
  
The waiter sweatdrops profusely. This would be as difficult an order as the legendary red haired sorceress and dimwitted swordsman who it is said to have eaten many a restaurant out of business.  
  
(To be continued in Chapter Four, where the identity of who the swordsman really is will really be revealed!) 


	8. Chapter Four minichapter

Chapter Four: The Evening Report  
  
Note: Poor Xellos, he's being forced to do a filk of "The Morning Report" from The Lion King. A regular and relevant chapter will be up whenever Mesuinu finally forces me to write it.  
  
Xellos stands before Lord Beastmaster, his head hanging down. "Do I have to?", he inquires. "Yes, you do.", Lord Beastmaster replies. Xellos sighs, and clears his voice.  
  
"It's a horror and travesty, this song I perform With no sense of self-respect to be found With disgust and anguish, this isn't my norm And more singing I am bound  
  
To sing before my master all about Mesuinu To fill her in on what's old and what's new If I keep on on singing I might melt into glue Singing this report from my point of view  
  
Mesuinu went to town, and the vampires didn't have a ball Mesuinu blew them up, every one and all Mesuinu is now lurking around Atlas City She got maced by Filia, but she has not my pity She ran into two guys now and this is not a hunch She's better than me at getting a free lunch  
  
This is the evening report Notes both the long and the short Every mole, zit, and wart A fact or two I might distort On the evening report  
  
Mesuinu's now with some stud With hair the color of blood Though blonde might suit him better This song puts me under the weather  
  
She followed him to a hotel Oh why did she have to be female Don't mistake this for jealousy She's still a daughter to me Who knows what they're doing in there By the porcelain god, beware  
  
This is the evening report Notes both the long and the short Every mole, zit, and wart A fact or two I might distort On the evening report  
  
This is the evening report Notes both the long and the short Every mole, zit, and wart A fact or two I might distort On the evening report 


	9. Chapter Five

Slayers Outrageous: Mesuinu's Quest

Chapter 5: The Last Thing the World Needs! Mesuinu Learns the Dragonslave!

When we last left our heroes...wait, this fic has heroes? Er, scratch that. When we last left this fanfic, Xellos had filked the song, 'Morning Report' from Disney's "The Lion King." During that wonderful interlude, Mesuinu finds herself inside the hotel room of the mysteriously handsome Garth.

"I really don't think that it's appropiate for me to share a room with you.", Mesuinu remarks. "Well, uh," Garth stutters with a slight blush, "there aren't any other rooms available and I wouldn't be much of a gentleman if I left you out in the cold. Besides, you still need to cast the spell that'll keep me from losing my sword...again." "True, true. Although I could have just casted it earlier.", Mesuinu retorts. "True, but casting spells didn't sit well with the management after you nearly ate them out of house and home.", Garth comments. Mesuinu sighs. Some people just didn't know how to have fun, and many simply don't know how to relax.

"First, I'll need your sword, out of it's sheathe.", Mesuinu instructs. Garth nods and draws his sword out and carefully hands it to the young and mysterious priestess. Mesuinu takes the blade in both hands and starts to quietly chant a spell. The sword momentarily glows blue then floats up into the air. "Now then, I need a personal effect.", Mesuinu comments. Garth blinks as he scratches his head in contemplation of what would be appropiate. Mesuinu smirks mischievously. With a quick swipe of her fingers she snatches a single thread of red hair. Garth proclaims his pain in a typical, "ouch!" as Mesuinu finds herself frozen and entranced by the hair. "Darkness...beyond...twilight...and crimson blood...that flows.", the purple haired priestess begins to chant. Garth's eyes burst wide open in shock as he stumbles to grab Mesuinu's wrists. "WHOA WHOA WHOA! That's the LAST spell a priestess needs to be casting!"

Mesuinu snaps out of her daze, the solitary red strand slipping out of her pale hands. "Huh?", Mesuinu inquires. "Do you have any idea what spell you were starting to cast? That's the Dragonslave!", Garth complains. "The! ...I was starting to cast the Dragonslave? Cool!", Mesuinu smiles. "No, not cool at all. You could have blown us all to bits!", the young swordsman frets. "Oh! Oh, I see," Mesuinu begins sticking her face close to his, "your mother is Lina Inverse." Garth pulls back away from the insightful priestess. "H-h-how did you know that?", Garth inquires. "I could feel it in your hair...a tremendous amount of power that no mere swordsman should be able to possess. The power...the brilliant red hair, I only know of one other individual who possesses such features and that would be none other than the sorcery genius Lina Inverse." "Your clairvoyance is truly remarkable, Mesuinu.", Garth compliments. "Well," Mesuinu remarks, rubbing her finger beneath her nose, "that only leaves one thing left to divine. Your name must be Garth Gabriev then." "Ah, kind of obvious, wasn't it?", Garth remarks. "Not neccessarily. One could have assumed that you were Gaav, but Gaav was destroyed by...a mazoku named Hellmaster. Then again, you're awfully short to be Gaav."

"Hey, I'm about as tall as my dad. Although, on the topic of Gaav and mazoku, how do you know so much about them? You're not related to one of my mom's acquaintances, are you?", Garth inquires. Mesuinu's eyes shut tightly closed in response to his question. "Me, related to an acquaintance of Lina Inverse? Why simply having met the son of Lina is an honor enough. Afterall, who could I possibly be related to that would be so familiar with Lina Inverse?", Mesuinu apprehensively replies. "Well, you're a priestess, so I would wager that you're related either to Sylphiel or Princess Amelia. However, I think Meilu is Sylphiel's only daughter, so you'd have to be related to Amelia and Zelgadis Greywards. Although, I don't know if they actually have any children though.", Garth comments. "Oh, well I suppose you could suggest that I'm related to Amelia's older sister.", Mesuinu remarks. "Hey, that's right, she has an older sister doesn't she? I don't know her name though. I'm pretty confident that you're not related to someone called Naga the White Serpent though.", Garth notes. "Well who knows, really? I have no idea who my mother is or who she might be. I could still very well be related to a friend of your mother's."

Mesuinu laughs briefly then picks up the sword, which had fallen after a long lack of focus and concentration, and casts levitation upon it once more. She then plucks up the fallen hair and places it upon the swords. "Now back to business. I need complete concentration, so please refrain from speaking.", Mesuinu instructs. Garth nods in acknowledgement. Mesuinu concentrates, allowing the magical energy within her to flow from her hands and through the hair and blade. "Gods that hover above, and Demons that lurk below, stand witness before me as I cast this spell. Light from the darkness unfold, and weave forth a bond that by no power can be broken and bring together this blade and its owner henceforth and forever more. BINDING!" Total darkness engulfs the room as Mesuinu begins casting her spell. As she continues, threads of light spread out from her chest ("Light from the darkness") and wrap around the sword ("and weave forth a bond"). The strands of light completely detatch themselves from Mesuinu and explode in a radient light around the sword ("bring together this blade and its owner henceforth and forever more"). Normal light is restored to the room as the sword floats towards Garth Gabriev.

The young swordsman looks on in awe as the sword floats before him. He smiles gratefully and takes the sword, causing the magical energy surrounding it to disappear. He sheathes the sword and looks at the pale priestess happily. "Whew...that took a lot out of me.", Mesuinu comments. "Thank you, thank you very much. I just have one question though. Why did you begin with 'Gods that hover above, and Demons that lurk below'? That sounds kind of strange coming from a priestess.", Garth inquires. "Oh, I just thought it sounded cool. It has nothing to do with the spell at all. Just me trying to be creative.", Mesuinu replies. "Uh-huh. Just exactly what kind of priestess are you?", Garth wonders, not really certain if he wants to know the answer to that question. "Let's just say that I'm an open-minded priestess," Mesuinu winks, "if that scares you, I can just go ahead and take my leave. You no longer require my services." "Well, I had to ask, didn't I? Please, stay. You've been really nice to me, so I should repay you for that." "Well you're most certainly not like your mother at all.", Mesu notes. "Yah, I guess I take after my dad a lot. Oh, Mesuinu, you were able to detect my mom's power through my hair...and you learned the Dragonslave. Is it...is it possible that I have the potential to cast i...spells too?", Garth wonders. "Well, anyone could learn a spell or two, it's just a matter of being able to cast it successfully. There are individuals such as myself who have a knack for magic, and others who really shouldn't even bother learning.", Mesuinu informs. "Do I have a knack for magic?", Garth inquires. "Hmmm...let me see."

The mysterious priestess places her forefinger and middle finger on the red haired swordsman's forehead. She closes her eyes and allows the magical energies to transfer from Garth into herself. She meditates for several minutes before removing her fingers. "No...you have the power inside of you, but you can only pass it on. You can't control. You could very well learn a spell or two, but it would be extremely dangerous if you ever attempted to cast it. Even a simple healing spell could backfire and cause harm. I'm sorry.", Mesuinu informs. "Nah, that's alright. Like my dad, I'm not much for magic.", Garth admits. " That's alright. I'm sure that you're very skilled with your sword that you wouldn't need to use magic. Me, on the other hand, I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not really cut out for casting spells.", Mesuinu confesses, her eyes closed tight. "Not at all, you're just not cut out for casting black magic spells.", Garth replies. Mesuinu laughs apprehensively at the swordsman's ignorance of her dangerous and natural capacity for both black and white magic. "I suppose so, especially when it comes to the Dragonslave."

The two laugh it over for a few minutes when Mesuinu suddenly emits out a yawn. She wordlessly takes a pillow and sets out for a place on the floor. "No, no, no!", Garth complains. "What," Mesuinu inquires naively, "I need a pillow to rest my head if I'm going to sleep on the floor." "You are SO not sleeping on the floor!", Garth insists. "Where else am I to sleep?" "You can sleep on the bed. I'll take the floor.", Garth informs. "I couldn't do that. It's more than enough of you to allow me to share your room. It wouldn't sit well on my conscious if I then allowed you to sleep on the cold floor.", Mesu asserts. "What kind of man would allow a woman to sleep on the floor and take the bed for himself?", Garth notes, a remarkable reflection of his father. "We'll just uh...have to compromise then.", the mysteriously mischievious priestess suggests. "I still don't feel comfortable letting you sleep on the floor...even if I'm sleeping there too.", the young Gabriev admits. "I guess we should share the bed then.", Mesuinu reconmends blushing terribly. "Eh! Now I'm REALLY not comfortable with that!", Garth exclaims. "Aa...ano...ah...eh...well...it's not like I'm gonna...take advantage of you...or something.", Mesuinu stutters. "Well, er, yah...of course not.", Garth stammers. "Or do you think you'd try something naughty with me?", Mesuinu spitefully demands getting in his handsome and blushing face. "N-n-no! Of...of...of course not! I...I...I wouldn't...I wouldn't think of such a...thing! Absolutely not!", Garth insists.

"Then that's settled! We'll uh...share the bed!", Mesuinu proclaims. "Urk! N...n...not so loud!", Garth complains stammering. "You don't have to be embaressed about it. I still could go find somewhere else to stay. It hasn't gotten too late yet.", Mesuinu informs. "Ah, no, it really is too late for that." "Not at all. I've travelled quite a bit already, so I'm actually used to having to sleep outside.", Mesu comments. "No. Ah, well, goodnight." "Goodnight then." 


End file.
